Sometimes I think I want to go home more than anyone.
[It's a little bitterly said, but she listens, and when he sits down, she sits right beside him, very gently resting one hand on his back. She can see it's difficult. It's that awful tendency she has, pushing him into difficult conversations without meaning to.]
Remember one of our first agreements? That I should judge you for what you do, each day, instead of trusting? You've never been a tyrant to me, whatever you might have done in Japan. If I'd gone there instead of here, like Mai, and you'd... kidnapped me, and refused to negotiate, and been as awful as the captain, I'd have hated you too. I'd have made you kill me. But you were never like that to me, so I never thought that's what you were.
I'm not going to say I fully understand what goes on between you and Klaus, but I know you love each other. And I know he has to trust you. It takes a lot of trust to let someone hurt you. Even if he likes it. You have an unwritten contract, determining what you can do and he can do. You're not a tyrant to him either.
You think that I trust too much, and maybe I do, but once someone betrays that trust, or behaves in a way that makes it clear they don't deserve it, they never get it back. I'd never trust the captain, not even if he started being exceptionally nice to me. And I can't bring myself to do what you're suggesting, even if I do see the logic. It'd be like rewarding someone for cruelty towards me. It'd damage me too much to do it. I don't know if I can explain that.
Tradeliners aren't afraid. [Odd phrasing, but deliberate. If Tradeliners aren't afraid, she isn't either. She can't be.] It's like Breakaway. A war against a tyrant. Tell him to go sit in the dirt with his carrot, and stand strong and fearless against the stick. Even if it hurts. Even if some people die. It's principle, and in the end, you win. I don't want to help him become a better person. He has no right to that from me. I want him dead. Almost as much as I want to go home. I know you think he's like you, but that's only in some ways. You aren't the same.
no subject
[It's a little bitterly said, but she listens, and when he sits down, she sits right beside him, very gently resting one hand on his back. She can see it's difficult. It's that awful tendency she has, pushing him into difficult conversations without meaning to.]
Remember one of our first agreements? That I should judge you for what you do, each day, instead of trusting? You've never been a tyrant to me, whatever you might have done in Japan. If I'd gone there instead of here, like Mai, and you'd... kidnapped me, and refused to negotiate, and been as awful as the captain, I'd have hated you too. I'd have made you kill me. But you were never like that to me, so I never thought that's what you were.
I'm not going to say I fully understand what goes on between you and Klaus, but I know you love each other. And I know he has to trust you. It takes a lot of trust to let someone hurt you. Even if he likes it. You have an unwritten contract, determining what you can do and he can do. You're not a tyrant to him either.
You think that I trust too much, and maybe I do, but once someone betrays that trust, or behaves in a way that makes it clear they don't deserve it, they never get it back. I'd never trust the captain, not even if he started being exceptionally nice to me. And I can't bring myself to do what you're suggesting, even if I do see the logic. It'd be like rewarding someone for cruelty towards me. It'd damage me too much to do it. I don't know if I can explain that.
Tradeliners aren't afraid. [Odd phrasing, but deliberate. If Tradeliners aren't afraid, she isn't either. She can't be.] It's like Breakaway. A war against a tyrant. Tell him to go sit in the dirt with his carrot, and stand strong and fearless against the stick. Even if it hurts. Even if some people die. It's principle, and in the end, you win. I don't want to help him become a better person. He has no right to that from me. I want him dead. Almost as much as I want to go home. I know you think he's like you, but that's only in some ways. You aren't the same.