[OPEN] Tried on 13 different pairs of shoes

[businessorlibation]

Who: Johnny Summer and You
When: January
Where: Hurikane, Tommy Bahama
Summary: December's aftermath settles in hard. Johnny folds himself up, tucks himself away, finds distractions.
Warnings: Alcohol, maladaptive coping strategies, mental health

1. I am dented by the skies [Hurikane]
Sometimes, you just want to slot into old familiar routine, step back into what was work and just. Wear the customer service face, letting people tell you what they want of you and delivering that to the best of your ability. Johnny's behind the bar, mixing cocktails and hoping no one notices how mask-like his smile feels to him right now. Come on over, he'll just...make a drink happen for you. It's the best he can do for anyone in this moment.


2. They keep me up at night [Tommy Bahama]
And sometimes a man's feet get restless, when the end of day comes and lying down in bed feels impossible. There's no snow-covered wilderness to wander here, and that suits Johnny Summer fine. He's an indoor cat, after all, has been ever since...

...so he's at Tommy Bahama alone, taking advantage of its endlessness to go for a nice long walk to try to get the fog out of his mind. Maybe. Or maybe he'll run into a werecougar and have a fight, always possible. He does have his scissors.


3. It’s just a lack of air supply [Wildcard]
darkersolstice or darkersolstice #9463 to plot

Comments

[businessorlibation]

"'Should have been' is useless now." He shakes his head. Downs the rest of his drink far too quickly. His shoulders hunch in a bit of a defensive posture. "My beloved man has a habit of getting in his head over everything. I swallow my anger, because I don't want to throw it at him. He's beating himself up enough. So I shouldn't pile on."

[be_seeing_you]

"No, you shouldn't pile it on. But, you should make your position known."

He considers drinking faster to catch up but decides against this time. A clear head might be what's needed more.

"I think, because you usually present yourself as so well-put-together that some, myself included, make the mistake of overlooking that you require attention. It's not a selfish ask, you know that don't you? It need not always be you standing as the pillar and foundation of your triad."

[businessorlibation]

"I work very, very hard to present myself that way. If I don't, people might think I'm just some weak sister. I'm short and I'm pretty and I'm...well, you know. I have to put in twice the work to get the same respect. I always have. Asking others to take care of me, that's like admitting I'm not as strong as I seem."

A pause, he rattles the ice in his glass. "Besides, if anyone's the foundation, it's probably John, which is why it's a damned shame he's prone to such misfortune. He's steady and reasonable and wise."

[be_seeing_you]

"I see that now, that you put a lot of energy into maintaining your image. I can sympathize. Not in the same way, obviously. But, Johnny..." He's using a gentle coaxing tone, not patronizing, just concerned. "You are accepted here. Perhaps it's time to allow the facade to soften."

Easier said than done, he knows. So, perhaps a different tact.

"Do you feel your beloveds will think you a weak sister? Do you fear they will respect you less if you ask for their care?"

[businessorlibation]

"I worry that they might. Or see me as a burden. When I don't go on excursions, Cesar often does stay with me. I keep him from getting to explore like he ought to. I hold him back."

[lightconductor]

He rubs his hand in small circles on Johnny's back, for a moment squeezing his eyes shut. "I'm sorry. I want to try so hard to spare you from what I can, but it really isn't possible, is it?"

[be_seeing_you]

"We carry the burdens for our partners, Johnny, because that is what being a partner means. We make sacrifices because some things matter more than a chance to explore."

Number 6 is ashamed that he had no idea how deep this anguish went for Johnny. This is not one incident, but many piled atop each other. That's clear now.

"Ava has expressed to me that she harbors these same worries. She fears she will burden me as well. She worries she has nothing to offer me in return if she is not strong enough. I wish I knew how I could reassure her that this is not the case. I will repeat it as many times as needed. But, I cannot tell you how much worse it would be for me if she kept those worries hidden. I would sense something is there, but never have the chance to address it."

He fixes his gaze on Johnny, intense, almost to the point of boring into the man. "You need to tell them. You deserve to be heard and they are entitled to know the depths of your fears so that they may help to right them."

[businessorlibation]

"We don't really get that as an option, here, no." He sounds resigned to it, beaten down by everything. It's been a roller coaster few months, hasn't it?

[businessorlibation]

He almost seems to wilt under the intense stare, face falling. It's a glimpse behind the mask he's been wearing so long, so carefully.

"I know you're right, but you make it sound simple." It might be simple, in truth, but it's not easy.

[be_seeing_you]

Number 6's expression stays hard. He doesn't react to the falling of that mask for fear it will convince Johnny that his weakness is as sinful as he fears.

"It is simple. And it will require you to summon up a courage unlike any other. Johnny, you made your vows to them. This is how you keep them. Trust your husbands with the truth."

Now, finally, the intensity of his gaze fades. He gulps down the last of his own drink and slides the glass closer to Johnny. "I have faith that you can do this, my friend. You are no weak sister."

[businessorlibation]

"You're right, again. I'm not." He sets both glasses in the sink, either for him to wash later, or for the ghosts to. "Did you want another Tokyo Tea? Or something else?"

[be_seeing_you]

"I don't believe you ever have been."

He considers the question, before lightly shrugging.

"What are you feeling like drinking? I made the first request, you make the second."

[businessorlibation]

"Something strong." Like, for once he's in the mood to drink in order to get drunk, instead of for the artistry of his chosen profession. "So another Tokyo Tea wouldn't go amiss."

[be_seeing_you]

"Make it two. And let's keep them coming. Our cabins are on the way to each other's, after all." Yes, he is willing to get stumbling drunk with you tonight.

"Or, should you want a place to rest, I regret that my cabin is now empty save for me. But you would be welcome to the pull-out."

[businessorlibation]

"Six is gone? Shit, does Cesar know?" He pulls out his phone immediately because of course that's...big. Very fucking big. Even if they'd been on the outs lately, Johnny knows his heart would shatter if he lost Crabb, his one connection to Gallery.

[be_seeing_you]

"He is. I hoped it might be a case that he was finding a dark corner of a bar to sleep in still but... it has been too long since I have seen any evidence of him." Admitting that only makes him want that drink more.

"It was my understanding that he and Cesar were not on good terms."

[lightconductor]

"It seems to me, sometimes, that I am a fool who runs towards danger instead of away from it, and on this damned ship that makes things all the harder for you and César. I'm sorry for that."

This has been weighing on him. He ought to offer to try to change his ways, but he's not sure how to even begin that.

[businessorlibation]

"They weren't. A misunderstanding over events at Halloween." Johnny types, deletes and retypes a message about three times before finally sending it. He leaves the phone on the bartop and then turns to make another round.

"Given that, I might take you up on the stay in your room. Can't have you getting too lonely now." As if he would, with Ava in the picture. At this moment, either of their rooms can be the love nest.

[businessorlibation]

"That wouldn't be so bad, if it weren't for danger's habit of finding you and making use of the opportunity, love. I know you can't help it, when catastrophe strikes." Can't help himself with the need to respond or can't help it when it strikes him?

Yes.

[lightconductor]

Watson is quiet for a moment. He takes another sip of his drink, holding it in his mouth for a moment to savour it before swallowing. He's a healer, and he does not know how to mend this.

"I just hope I won't give you cause to regret marrying a doctor."

[businessorlibation]

"Regret?" He lets out a sound that's a sputter or a laugh or maybe both, shaking his head. "I know who you are and I love you. I know who César is and I love him. And the time we had at the resort before things got bad was a clear reminder of why I married both of you. It's just."

He sips at his own drink as he finds words. "The wedding wasn't an endpoint. I think I forgot that, somehow. There's no 'complete this and everything becomes fine'."

[teethoftherisk]

"Of course not. You are a human. I expect you to come and go as you please." It does amuse him to imagine receiving an apology for entering his territory. How silly. "And this is a clothing store. People need to wear things. I am simply grateful that it is especially large so it can serve as a substitute."

Wildcard: After the Thread with Number 6

[pineapplesalmon]

It's lunch time the day after Johnny reached out to César before Johnny spent the night drinking with Peter Smith. Johnny was right in that they hadn't had a date in a while. César arrives early with the strap of that mysterious bag of his thrown over his shoulder and dressed up nicely. Usually he's meticulous about his hair, but this time, it's extended to his clothing, too.

He looks around for Johnny, a tad nervous.

[businessorlibation]

The dining hall is rarely occupied, and never busy. It means he can be sure of having César's attention to himself for once. Johnny is, in fact, very much hung over but at the same time, he looks like a knot tied in his chest has been loosened. He's at ease, as he walks over to César.

[pineapplesalmon]

Johnny looking at ease despite his hangover makes César's tension drain, too. César breaks into a smile, then walks quickly to meet him. There's no hesitation as he bends forward to kiss Johnny with more confidence than he has since December.