"I see that now, that you put a lot of energy into maintaining your image. I can sympathize. Not in the same way, obviously. But, Johnny..." He's using a gentle coaxing tone, not patronizing, just concerned. "You are accepted here. Perhaps it's time to allow the facade to soften."

Easier said than done, he knows. So, perhaps a different tact.

"Do you feel your beloveds will think you a weak sister? Do you fear they will respect you less if you ask for their care?"