Her hand twists in the fabric of the blanket, because there's no good answer to that. It had been a gamble, in the end. That she keeps cheating death is never a certain thing, no matter how many times it happens. If it hadn't worked, it would look very much like she disappeared to the Nothing. There's arguments she can make, but what comes out is the truth, simple as it is.

"...I'm sorry. I didn't know what else to do."

Other than live and hope somehow she got thrown back out in the right direction, but that hadn't felt possible.