Crabb makes a strange noise, turning around on the spot and leaning back against the railings instead, throwing her hands up. "I don't know! Christ, I don't know. I don't know you and this ain't even how this is s'posed to work even if I did and I don't know why I'm just goin' along with it like it ain't weird."

Except a part of her does. She was the one who tried to kiss 'Tom', that night after Prosperity went down. She was the one who kept thinking about touching his face, about if he'd ever let her kiss him or he'd ever kiss her. The dance steps were fun, in their way, and they were how things were supposed to go, but she didn't know how to keep pace. She didn't want to have to follow all these stupid rituals just to be with someone.

She's just never known how to buck the traditions. Even if she'd tried Cragen wouldn't have let her and maybe in that case she should be grateful but—

"I am just. So bleedin' tired of people hiding everything behind three dozen layers of bleedin' pretence!"