He likes seeing that softness come to her; it means she's really hearing him. And that's always nice, that when they talk, she listens. So few people really do seem to understand where he's coming from.
"Yeah. You really do get it." He flashes a sympathetic smile because, well, it's not a very nice thing for both of them to have to experience but it's better to know they aren't alone.
"I know why Erin feels so strongly about it. Yeah, she's right. My brain knows that. But we're right too, that it's not just... one thing or another. It's complicated." He's seen his master do monstrous things. But he's seen his master be kind and gentle too. Those moments when he cried into Erik's chest and his master held him for hours to soothe him, those were genuine moments. He knows they were. They had a bond.
"... And sometimes it makes me feel guilty for the fact that I wasn't miserable the entire time. You know? I didn't hate every second of living like that. I don't want to pretend like I did. Even if I don't ever want to go back to that, I don't want the only way I can move on from it to be... pretending that seven years of my life just didn't happen. But I don't know what else I'm supposed to do. I can't go back to being Jonah. I'm not him anymore, I'm Max. I'm always going to be Max now and... I want to feel like that's okay. I can't become a third person. I don't have it in me."
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"Yeah. You really do get it." He flashes a sympathetic smile because, well, it's not a very nice thing for both of them to have to experience but it's better to know they aren't alone.
"I know why Erin feels so strongly about it. Yeah, she's right. My brain knows that. But we're right too, that it's not just... one thing or another. It's complicated." He's seen his master do monstrous things. But he's seen his master be kind and gentle too. Those moments when he cried into Erik's chest and his master held him for hours to soothe him, those were genuine moments. He knows they were. They had a bond.
"... And sometimes it makes me feel guilty for the fact that I wasn't miserable the entire time. You know? I didn't hate every second of living like that. I don't want to pretend like I did. Even if I don't ever want to go back to that, I don't want the only way I can move on from it to be... pretending that seven years of my life just didn't happen. But I don't know what else I'm supposed to do. I can't go back to being Jonah. I'm not him anymore, I'm Max. I'm always going to be Max now and... I want to feel like that's okay. I can't become a third person. I don't have it in me."