"All of it. Just...just, all of it. I want to rip my stupid heart out and chuck it into the ocean. Leave it to whatever is going to evolve down there with the hot dogs. I just want to rest. I thought I'd be okay, I could go back to just focusing on myself and you guys. But that doesn't work. That never works." He feels so selfish and petulant saying it, especially when Helena is being so patient with him.