Trust me, man, those dudes hats were stupid expensive. Thousands of dollars just to make 'em look authentic.

[it's impossible to focus on all the ways his idiocy has screwed him over when he sees it making someone else feel better. maybe he's a fuck-up, but at least he's a funny one?]

You'd think someone would'a requested a shooting range by now. Or Saturday square-dance nights. That was a big thing for like three years back before the cult rolled into town, but I was more of a roller-rink and disco kinda guy. Still am, obvi, but I was then, too!