It takes so much for him not to gag. The last time he smelled that was—

— (the dream blinks) (it’s funny, he didn’t think you’d feel dehydrated but it makes sense) (maybe if he goes slow this time) (fuck this, he’s not doing it more than twice) —

— was

he
pushes down the urge to retch (not in front of the kids not when there’s already) and retreats from the bars, clinking as he goes, his breath coming out white.