Phil grins from where he's smushed against the jail bars while Heth tries to... honestly he's not really sure, strangle him with his own shirt? It hurts, but not enough for him to care.

"Sure. The land was peacefully occupied by Bartledannians, famed for their literature of exactly a hundred thousand words long, and Betelgeusians, who don't understand sarcasm. Fast forward a few hundred years and a couple of humans and elves come along and decide to build a big castle and plant a big tree, and they wrote so many books only a couple thousand words long and spoke so much sarcasm that they decided to rise up in literary rebellion, causing the castle to reveal its secret and transform into a giant robot that gently placed all the Bartledannians' and the Betelgeusians' houses and businesses somewhere else."

... In a low voice: "But why would I tell you that?"