latersgators: (moon moon)
Steven with a Marc ([personal profile] latersgators) wrote in [community profile] come_sailaway 2022-06-15 11:03 am (UTC)

He takes Marc's hand without really thinking about it. There's nobody here. Nobody to give them weird looks or chastise them or make him feel self-conscious. He doesn't have to bother maintaining appearances or keeping his guard up.

"I have a fairly active imagination. Couldn't've come up with this though." There are way too many children here and not nearly enough fantastical, nonsensical things for this to be something Steven could think up. But who knows what's really going on anymore?

"I feel like I've lost my grip on reality the moment you arrived in my life," Steven observes as they head out the mess hall and out into the open area. He's not sure where they're going, but the aimless walking feels a little less aimless when Marc's leading the way.

"Everything we've done, everywhere we've been, everything you've told me - there's so many things happening, so many-- layers that we exist in. I don't know what's real anymore. But I know that when I was sane I was... just stuck in this rut. Woke up exhausted, rushed to work, turned up late anyway. Donna hated me but that was nice at least - she knew I was there. Most of the time I'm just invisible. Get home more exhausted than I've ever been and somehow the next day I can get even more exhausted than I was the day before. What kind of reality is that?" It's the kind that he had wanted, yes. The normal kind where nothing much really happened. It was comfortable and safe and-- sometimes happy. But was he really better off there?

"I don't want to go back to tha'. Why would I? And I don't want for you to be-- What kind of reality is it for you to be institutionalised? I don't-- I don't want for people to hurt you, even if I am no good for you. They should be dealing with me then, not you. Maybe it's... maybe it's okay if we don't figure it all out. And we just try and get through each day until something starts to make sense."

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