( clarke may not understand a lot of things about mizuki. she may staunchly fight against his self damning definition of a monster, regardless of what's mingled with his soul and bound him to an elder god. she may take his forgiveness at face value and consider the venti debacle put to bed, especially in the face of new crisises perpetually looming around the corner. she may see the cracks in his facade that ooze problematic possessiveness and just equate it to care, like any normal friend would.

but she does look at him and think solider more often than not. they'd met over hypotheticals, but in truth that first bonding moment had happened over plates of meat and talk of god killing. the moment mizuki had offered to eat bad guys for her, something in clarke's chest had been set alight, a low and guttering flame that sparked into a full blown blaze at the potential behind that offer.

it's just... somewhere along the way, mizuki had become more than just a weapon in her back pocket for the inevitable showdown with their captain. she's only given natsuno the full rundown of what she's done to protect the people she cared about, how many had been slaughtered at the whim of wanheda, but. the rest of them would inevitably find out. what it means to be considered clarke griffin's people. )

I wasn't thinking about pain, honestly. Or any sort of potential repercussion until after I hit him. But even if I had, that was uncharted waters. I don't want you to get hurt just because I can't control my temper.