"If I knew exactly, then it'd probably be easier to figure out how to say it. The way this past few years has gone, especially the last year since gettin' to the ship... sure as Hell taught me a lot about the damage he did to me, doin' what he did. And it's given me time to think about what he thought he was doin', the way it's like he just didn't get it. The fact he's spent who knows how long— pining, here..."

It just affirms that fact. He doesn't get how what happened felt, he doesn't understand that it was never Cecil Cragen she cared for.