come_sailaway | Crew Meeting

You don't wanna be like the guy people fear, Stede. [He gestures with his alcohol, spilling a little.] You want to be liked. Blackbeard's not that. Blackbeard's a clown too--just, jus' a clown who goes around killing people. That's the only reason I have respect.

[He frowns out over the deck, deep thoughts brewing in a sloshed mind.]

What the fuck is worth, though, man? Like, why are we all trying so fucking hard to be worthy of something? Why're we out here lettin' other people tell us what we're worth? Who gets to decide who is worthy of sittin' at the same table, or being friends, or fucking, or wearing fancy clothes? Who the fuck are these people to decide our value, huh?

I'm fucking tired of living up to the reputation--tried of trying to cling to things with no goddamn value. The value is me. The value is what I get out of life, not some blown-up image I present to the world.

[Sadly.] ...It's me.

Goddamn it, Stede, none of us will ever be enough. 'm not enough to keep Izzy around because I'm not Blackbeard enough, but I'm too Blackbeard for you-- I dunno, man. I dunno.

Dunno. It's all shit anyway. Cheers.

You're not too Blackbeard for me. [he frowns and moves just a little closer, brushing their arms together- then going to hell with it and sneaking that arm around him to hold him close]

And it's just because Blackbeard kills people, theoretically, but because you're intelligent, witty, charismatic-- All the great things that make you you. Don't downplay who you are, Ed or what you bring. Everyone loves you and I think Izzy does too in his own way. He's just a man who can't seem to accept anything but-- what he wants--

I want you to be free to be you. That's why I told him you were on holiday and... well... [he gestures]

[and of course he has value- and commands respect and all that because people like him automatically. It's because of that charisma he doesn't have to try as hard as Stede does. And Stede can never make it work. He wished Izzy had told him what his potential was. He wishes someone could tell him how to at least make people not - be embarrassed around him- But maybe it's just something he'll always have to accept.

His value, he supposes, comes with money and fine things and gathering people together until they realize they'd really rather be somewhere else. But who cares about that, the important thing is-]

You'll always be enough for me, just as you are.

Nah. Fascinating guy like you? You'll get tired of me, too.

I mean, look, I'm already dragging down your crew shit. 'm not even a co-captain; I'm just the guy who shows up and gets credit for the shit you're doing because I'm the famous name they all recognize. You're doing all the work, mate.

And people are going to recognize that. Blackbeard wasn't created in a day. Takes time to earn people's respect. Attention, that's easy. But respect takes time.

You've got to stop worrying about what they think of you, and just do you. [He leans into the embrace a little.] Fuck the haters. The haters don't deserve you.

...! Oh, hey. Glad you like 'em. (she smiles over to him sheepishly then back to her drawings.) — The feather will be behind my ear. The lightning bugs, well... I, uh. I haven't decided yet. Got any ideas?

That's your prerogative.

[reaches forward to touch the side of his face lightly] Do take care of yourself. They need you.

[He accepts that compliment with a nod and faint chuckle.]

I think you'll find that every fiction you could dream of is based on some reality or another. [That's what he's come to realize after seeing Ava's alternate self in comic form. Every reality is probably somebody else's fiction.]

...It's peaceful. Quiet. And I have far fewer responsibilities than I do now.

Oh. He was just rude. [he said it! in a way! that hurt her feelings! and literally that's it.]

This entire...thing. It seems to be revolved around entertainment or something. Even your meeting.

[ jason takes a step closer toward stede, patting the other's shoulder heftily as he mutters in his ear. ]

Surely this isn't all for pleasure?

Wow... Excuse you. A little personal space please. [and he'll put a step or two between them, brushing off his shoulder. Really. He barely knew the man]

Of course it isn't for pleasure. It's a bonding experience for my crew. It's for their pleasure if anything...not that they seem to get it I don't think.

He is that. Still I think there's potential for him for change. To be someone else. If he put some effort into it. [which is a big if]

But don't let him get to you. Assholes will be assholes and their opinion isn't worth buttered bread.

Maybe even this weak and idle theme is no more yielding than a dream. [a faint smile]

What a lovely freedom. I hope you can achieve it. You certainly deserve it and if there's anything I can do to help you, let me know. Happiness is a good look on you.

[fascinating...? Really? He opens his mouth to respond, but then shuts it again to actually listen to what Ed says. To absorb it. It makes sense. It does. He's good at the former, attention, but not the latter. Yet it takes more than just a dazzling show. A good fuckery, as Ed had said, takes ages to perfect.

And he wonders if that's what in a way Blackbeard is. A kind of fuckery. Ed is cool, but he also likes people to know it. As if it's an armor sometimes. But he doesn't like to be laughed at either or mocked. He doesn't like to be looked down on by people who think they're better than him or think he's silly. In a way, they're a lot alike. Both wanting to be seen and heard and understood and loved. Ed might be better at it than him, but no one likes to be liked for the armor they wear or the clothes.

And perhaps, yes, Izzy too is similar but he's not a priority now.]

You too... [he slips his arms around Ed's waist fully now, holding him close, rubbing his back]

And get tired of you? Nah. How can I get tired of the way you smile? Or the way you laugh? Or the way you touch?

How can I get tired of seeing your world? Or showing you mine? Or exploring new ones together? It doesn't matter what sea we're on. And maybe... if...if you want... [and maybe he wouldn't want to- and it would be a complicated highly fraught situation that would not be easy except... he wants to try]

Well... [he absently fiddles with the hem of Ed's shirt just to give his fingers something to do] ...You could come meet my children one day.

I'm sure they'd love to see you.

Edited 2022-09-29 14:32 (UTC)

[Heracles. It is so fucking beyond wild to Izzy that someone is casually mentioning that name. Like she knows him. That she does know him. It puts everything he's ever believed about faith and gods and all that old dross into question. Turns out sharing a room with two gods can really change your perception of things. Who knew.

and while he isn't accustomed to being given support or pep talks, it isn't all that unwelcome from Pollux' lips. He's going soft. Soft enough to split from Edward. Soft enough to look to new horizons. Soft enough to need support outside himself and the shadow he's been following for twenty-odd years.]

If ever it were so simple, but... thank you. I hope so.

[And now a hard pivot to get the attention off him and onto literally anything else.]

Can I ask who it was giving you trouble?

I wasn't assuming.

[He would never say he was father material, not now and not ever. But this is a rare opportunity and Izzy isn't stupid enough to throw something like that away. Whatever it means he needs to be to her. So he takes the ammo and shifts it into his hand with the gun before reaching to actually make contact this time - squeezing her shoulder. Firm but not hard. Reassuring, maybe.]

Missions I can give you. I think your father would think it a shame to squander your gifts in this place. But if I take you on, really take you on, you answer to me and only me. Above all else is loyalty to your captain.

[He's in a weird mood. It is what it is, and Ava earns a small snerk. He can relate, yeah.]

Mm, yeah. That's a mood. who do we want to go hit?

[It is so fucking wild that someone would just think to protect him? Just because? When the fuck has that ever been a thing and it not been Edward.]

I guess we'll see.

[It is a lovely display of loyalty, though. Feels good.]

...thank you.

That's right, not everything is so simple, but... both me and my brother are here.

( with a gentle squeeze of his elbow, pollux looks to him with a warm smile. it sounds terrifying to brave these seas alone, but the stars will always watch over him; even now. her concerns are for him, and him alone now for the moment as they make their way out of the room. )

You have us if you feel as though you can't go to anyone else. Gods listen to all no matter what it is.

( her thumb massages the area just above his elbow as she follows up with izzy's question, how could she articulate this without causing any problems. it does hurt in a way that an ancient god like her could bring anything but promise to a human. ah, how embarrassing, will she look different in his eyes because of it? )

Stede appeared to be uncomfortable in my presence, and so I decided that removing myself would prevent any disruption to his gathering.

Happiness is a better look on people with faces, but I do appreciate your meaning. [And now to utilize his newfound knowledge of friendship and... ask about somebody else for a change!] How are you doing, by the way? Not with the crew, just. In general.

It's alright. I just... don't want you to die.

[ Genuinely pretty concerning that wanting him not to die seems to be such a big deal to him, but.

Her old mog, huh?
Darcy goes quiet beside him, looking out at the rest of the meeting. ]

The hair's a nice change--Ed's not sure what to make of the outfit, but it's definitely a Choice and he's at least here for that. Jeff looks good, comfortable, and still pretty damn cool from whatever sort of vacation he took from this place.

"Think you're an honorary crewmember--if Captain Bonnet gives you trouble, just tell him the accountant invited you." It's good to see the kid again. Ed won't be nosy and ask what he did while away, but-- "How long've you been back? Haven't seen you in a while--or is that why you'd be a possum?" Jeff out there somewhere playing possum? Might work. Friday did, after all, come check to make sure Ed wasn't dead when he was laying on the deck.

[Stede is being too kind, too understanding, too good to him. He's waiting for the other shoe to drop. He's waiting to fall short here and fail, too, like he did with Izzy, or for Stede to grow tired of the monotony or gore of piracy and return to his cushy life.

Ed's smile is nothing special, nor his laugh, and his touch is nothing but violence. But Stede makes it sound like it could be special.

Like Ed could be something special. Just Ed. Without hardly even trying. How the hell would that even be possible.

And meet his children?

That sounds like an awfully big thing. Not that Ed had ever experienced children being all that special--he had not been all that important as a boy--but they were still Stede's offspring, his little heirs, his...his kids. Introducing them to a fiendish pirate sounded like a recipe for disaster. Why would Stede even--?

Ed is silent a moment, staring out into the deck. Stede's being nice; it's nothing significant. Stede who lets people onto his ship to stay. Shares his food. His cabin. His clothes. It isn't that serious, Ed. It's just a couple of rugrats--his family, but...]

I- I dunno, man. Pretty sure their mother wouldn't want them meeting Blackbeard.

[he doesn't know what the silence means and almost immediately backtracks, almost immediately says it's a stupid idea. But then he remembers and reminds himself that Ed is just a soft underneath it all- and he might not be comfortable true, but he might not be comfortable yet or might never be. But Stede wants the offer to be there for him]

Mary can be quite surprising. And it wouldn't just be Blackbeard I'd be introducing them to. Though they'll want to see that too. Especially Alma. She's got fire in her. Louis is a bit more timid, but he's a good boy with lots of growing to do.

[gosh he hasn't thought of them like this in a while now. His darlings. And why not have it both? Why can't he be a pirate and a father and a gentleman? Why not have it all if he can?]

Anyway, the offer is there if you want it. In the meantime I think I could curl up in bed with a good book and a dry sherry and the handsomest man on the boat, if he's available.

Edited 2022-09-30 00:35 (UTC)

[Thank you, he wants to say. For even just making that offer. For having faith? in him. For trusting? him.

The words don't come easily, though, and it's a lot easier to take the out of discussing the rest of their night.]

Sorry, he's not available. He's scheduled to read some bearded pirate-clown a fucking good book.

[He pats Stede and gently pulls away enough to walk, taking him by the hand instead.]

Come on, let's get you a drink.

[he laces his fingers with Ed's and kisses it, flushing a little at the compliment]

Whatever else you may think you're not a clown. So don't bring yourself so low. The world will try to do that for you but if they miss that light it's their loss.

[though he's looking forward to this, and a drink and a quiet evening in bed with the man he... the man he... with his Ed]

What do you think about Dracula?

[Yeah, yeah. That goes for you, too, Captain Bonnet.]

What's Dracula?

Crew Meeting

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