"No, I'm-" she tries to correct Erin but she already knows, because of course she does. Because Darcy doesn't even get to be special in her suffering.

The fact is that Darcy has been fighting herself nearly her whole life. There has not been a thing she's allowed herself to have without caveats. No relationship without expecting herself to be useful, no sport without demanding excellence of herself, no interest without a use or purpose. Always viewing herself through the eyes of a third party who hates her, starving herself, pushing herself, cutting off softness where she finds it. Avery had made her stand prouder but it was all wrapped up in a pursuit of respect, of the exact kind of power that Erin had walked away from.

"There's people who've failed me here too. Even if I did want any of that shit it's not like I'm going to get it. I'm just not worth the fight."