She hates fighting, but it's no longer a matter of what she loathes and what she loves. Fighting has become as necessary to survive as breathing, and Clarke's dug herself so deep into the pit of wartime leadership that she no longer knows if she's capable of peace. The dreams of it are nice, but what if the fight is all she is anymore? Survive first, then find your humanity again. That'd been the rule, but what if there wasn't much left when she finally had the opportunity to look.

For being marketed as a vacation, life on board the Serena Eterna hasn't exactly proven to be a place to rest, breathe, and reassess one's life. Even in the middle of a party, Clarke's sought out yet another person to use as a ladder rung towards what she can only see as a final confrontation with their Captain, and pushed him into teaching her how to play (and cheat) at cards. There's no peace here, just impermanent death and the number twenty-one so far as she's concerned. Maximilien offers an out for their card game, and she's so tired of everything. But still resolutely shakes her head.

"No, I have to. Let's bet on something this time — not the chips, something that means something, even if it's small."