Shit's fucked is basically what he's gathering from the whole situation. "I don't even know what holding myself together looks like...so you know...I'm proud of you for making it this far, buddy."

But sure. He can...hope his weird stories will help you cling to that shred of sanity and self control.

"So we went to this bowling alley to like...try to figure out what we were going to do and I wanted to prove that I could see Ben and we could do like...cool ghost shit together. Viktor was definitely in full destruction mode at this time...but that's not important. Anyway. So this kid Kenny..." He thinks that was his name? It wasn't the most important detail anyway. He was just some kid with a mom that was trying a little too hard for her kid...which was probably sweet...somewhere.

"It was his birthday. His mom mistook Diego and I for Five's dads and asked if it was alright with us if he went to hang out with her kid. Now, Five's like a fifty-something year old man trapped in the body of a teenager as the apocalypse is about to happen, so obviously he shuts that down. Rudely, but he's Five. What are you gonna do?"

Just let him be Five, really. Klaus isn't going to be axed by his own brother. Not that he thinks Five would actually do it, but still. "Then the assassins that were after him showed up at this kid's party and started shooting at us all, so naturally we had to hide to not get shot, right?" Right. Of course.

"So I took Kenny's birthday cake and basically lobbed it at these guys and then I'm pretty sure some bowling balls were thrown also??? But yeah. We had to make a break for it and run down the bowling alley....alleys? Whatever those are called and escape from the back. And that's...uh...the story."

He looks over. "Want any more stories?"