"Imagine the stories he's telling about you guys tho. Like he has an amazing intro for his first day on a job and they make him tell an interesting fact about themselves. Assassins showed up at his birthday party and his cake was used as a diversion tactic."

"OH damn, sucks for your shoes. And bowling shoes suck. Why was your brother trying to kill you guys? Seems like it's the dad he should be murdering."