I'm not surprised. And I'm sure you're doing better than you give yourself credit for. [Nobunaga WISHES he came from a time that could value science over military. He... did do a lot to further that goal at least. But given Crichton, he would not surprised either, since Crichton was a noncombatant researcher.]
[Nobunaga would say it's not that Oichi is unreliable, just that she's a princess in every sense of the word, and there's only so much he can break someone's conditioning without also forcibly harming what it means to be themselves.] I am her Commander, yes. She was an infant when our father died, and that was when I became daimyo, -- let me see. Comparable words... Sheriff, is the Western version in future centuries. If we structure it by army.... [Ticks off fingers to explain the tiers.] The castes. I promised I would talk Hell with you sometime, now's as good as any. [Since he's less moody with Crichton back!! And also having been on a date with Klaus. Yes. TO Spirit Halloween even, so he EXTRA likes this place and is happy in here!] In Hell, this is a dramatic way of referring to Japan in the civil war era. I showed you the map of all the split provinces, yes? I do think we split off into a descended version away from the world now.
The monks are a separate caste tier. Or were. I've done much to change this. In my time, however, they believed that you ascended each tier you were born into by living piously in your previous life. So every new life was a rewarded incarnation. The untouchables, bottom tier, [Demonstrates laying his hand flat. And then three dots of fingers above it.] Are punishment for past misdeeds. [Nods solemnly.] So untouchables cannot have weapons. Their life is forfeit if they offend the higher tiers. They are only able to take on jobs no one else wishes to deal with. Tanning, butchering, cremation. 4 is shin in Japanese, and the same word for death. It is a superstition that 4 is the most unlucky, untouchable even, synonymous with death. A secret -- [A finger over his lips.] Klaus was number 4 to his father, so he is my lucky number. [Nods. Klaus is his bestest ally, worst kept secret.]
Above that are merchants, and cooks, and cleaners. They are generally not allowed weapons. On this tier you also have the ninjas. This is another reason if they wield weapons openly, they are viewed darkly, because it means they are up to something. Ninjas are often entire villages who train in assassination and spy arts. They are good at infiltration, information gathering, and assassination. But they are rarely as strong as true soldiers.
So to soldiers. Soldiers start on this level. [The third!] Peasants, farmers, artists, craftsman, smiths, bodyguards, brothel workers [Yes, they're 3rd, not untouchable. Sengoku Japan yo.] and writers. Hai. [Nods!] They are rarely trained in katana -- swords. But some monks will do so, and the monks and priestesses are sort of in this region, but also a fifth one. There are 4 caste tiers, but the monks tried to create a fifth, much as Sun Tzu advised there are always 5 elements in life. Hideyoshi, my right hand, was born into this. Son of a farmer. But he is the only man alive who could be as strong as me. We will never know, because he is unfailingly loyal. He would never be able to fight me. Hideyoshi and Oichi are a lot alike. If she wasn't in love with Katsuie they could have made a good pair. Oh, but Hide' is also -- [A quiet hum. And waves a hand.] Protective. A big brother personality like mine. I don't think he could view her as anything but a baby sister as well. And he probably would have been forever worried about upsetting me. It's just as well.
Nobuhide, my father, was born to that caste tier as well, but Gozen, my mother, was born to the top caste, as was I. Gozen does whatever she damn well pleases. So she sought to make my father a daimyo. He was... but not because he inherited it like me, he was the Emperor's best general, as I said, despite being a monk.
The top caste is the most complicated. It's viewed as a reward for reincarnation of a pious previous life. All my generals except Hide' were born here. So 3rd tier, you have soldiers, the others are noncombatants. An exceptionally skilled soldier becomes a samurai by being awarded swords. This is what happened with Hideyoshi. Otherwise, me, my brothers, and others born here are raised in learning katana, swords, from the day we're born nearly. Katana, and other weapons. The way of bushido. Along with swords, land and responsibilities to protect people goes along with it. This is what happened with Yasuke. Yasuke was born in Africa, the first black-skinned man to reach Japan, and he became one of my samurai. [Very proud of this. He likes to think if Yasuke showed up on Eterna he could call him a FRIEND too!]
For my brothers, as they could not all become daimyo like me, they had other options. Samurai, diplomats, monks, castles, Nagamasa became a tea ceremony expert. Carving his own path entirely almost. Nobuyuki declared war on me when our father died. I had a reputation for being too quick to embrace new ideas, especially that of the foreigners, non-Japanese, and my detest for tradition and the religious indoctrination meant that even as child, my reputation was... poor. He did not think I could do it.
[Now why was he talking about Nobuyuki again? He spaces out for a little bit.] Although samurai have the most options available... Princesses do not. Some like Gozen can -- [Wavers a hand horizontally on a wobble.] Finagle it. But obedient, well-meaning, respectful princesses, cannot. It's an old argument I often had with Kichou. How to free women without trapping them in war as well. War is... Hell is all wars. There was nearly no way to escape it. No matter tier. The higher you ascended, the more you were involved in the wars.
This the other part of why I exiled Oichi too. She hates war as much as I do, as much as all my generals do. To know war, is to hate it. But she would have broken.
Tacticians -- there is me, and then there is Mitsunari Ishida. He is the second best tactician in the world. Oichi is better at strategy, but she's very clever, and can adapt quickly. The adaption means she would have to be on the field, however. We do not have phones in my time. There is no means for long distance communication short of runners and horseback riders. This is even why I have Ranmaru. His job is to be a ninja, and to carry messages when I cannot deliver myself.
Were I to even employ Oichi as a diplomat, she would have been kidnapped and held hostage. This is why I say I think Japan truly did sink to the levels of hell, that makes this ship look like a step up. Ieyasu was kidnapped by my father almost right before he died. Ieyasu was meant to be insurance to ensure his father, the daimyo's loyalty to one of our enemies, and rather than negotiate, they said Nobuhide could kill him. [EYE ROLL. Such a waste.] I said I never mean to rule over Japan. This is true. I have always been setting up the positions and infrastructure to give it to Hideyoshi and Ieyasu. I cannot give it to only one of them, however. Because Hideyoshi still has so much guilt about not being born into the top caste, he feels like an impostor, and needs someone as strong as me to constantly break him out of this conditioning. Ieyasu is not as strong as Hideyoshi. Hidyeoshi is not just a strong fighter, he's a strong commander. At least as much as I am -- again, we would never be able to test it. He is a strong commander, and with vast understanding of all things military and war. And Ieyasu has been trained since he was six by me personally, even more than Oichi.
I said once to Klaus, my lucky number 4, that I too, tend to "fuck up" most of my relationships. I had to exile Gozen, Oichi, even Nagamasa so he could be himself without my shadow. Hideyoshi is too loyal, and while I gave Mitsuhide, my left hand, a chance to shine as the true genius of our era, he is constantly having to deal with my every minor whim. Ranmaru and Kichou are certainly top tier of those I have messed up. [Laughs and shakes his head.] The only one I can confidently say I haven't messed up is Ieyasu Tokugawa. Because he is strong, smart, and his own brand of fucked up that, for once, is not my fault. I think.
So it goes: [Using his hands again to create tower levels:] solider, samurai, daimyo. Generals, and then there is me. [He doesn't put himself at the top of the tower. His goal was quite nearly to break the tower structure, after all. And his defiance of cultural norms in many ways meant he was nearly under the untouchables! Demon Kings are simultaneously the best and worst!]
There are no kings in Japan. But Demon Kings are all daimyo. To become a daimyo means accepting desiring more ambition and wealth than simply how you are born. This opens your heart to demons. I would have said metaphorically before, but I do have some doubts now, because I do not understand magic, religion, and on this ship I have met goddesses, and things I have no choice but to accept. Meet them for yourself, and you can decide. In any event, from the time I was 13, I became a daimyo. How much land and men this controls, varies from province to province, and what one individually does to claim more. Imagawa Yoshimoto waited so patiently until I was seventeen to try to invade Owari. I thank him for that. [Literally, puts his hand on the Souza Samonji he got from Imagawa, and sarcastically bows.] At least I had the time to unify Owari and the Oda clan, dealing with my brother and Uncle's wars that even my father didn't live to see finished.
Imagawa at the time had 25,000 troops to invade, he meant to go across our border to fight others. Fastest route. I had 1000, Oichi said the sun goddess Amaterasu was surely on my side. I have met Amaterasu now, it is possible she was. Oichi was only five, mind you. [Chinhands for a moment!] But that was as soon as she started begging me to take her onto the field of war. I simply believed she didn't understand how dangerous it was, and it wasn't like I wanted to try to explain that to her. [Amused grin and shakes his head.] From there, Hideyoshi had been my right hand since fighting to unite Owari. Saito Dosan was the man who killed my father, and was Mitsuhide's -- [...] Let's say former employer. [Sure. Beats "Torturer evil uncle."] So I already had -- [Right hand:] Hideyoshi, [Left hand:] Mitsuhide, Ieyasu, and a few other generals. They were not daimyo level until we gained more territory however. Just samurai. Captains, in charge of [Casts his right hand sideways, thinking back to the VERY early days for him.] Hundreds of our army. [Nods!] Then thousands. Now dozens of thousands.
Hideyoshi is a very good sheriff. If I understand the word right. I think I do. We do not have police in hell, and we do not vote our officials in, but if we did either, he would surely have been overwhelmingly voted in. He's very popular. Not just with the army, but all the civilians. To know Hideyoshi is to like him immensely. Mitsuhide as well, but Mitsuhide is -- He's so smart, some people can't stand it. Like Saito Dosan. He hated it. And other people find it very suspicious. Even though Hideyoshi and Mitsuhide have been working together as long as I have known them both, Hideyoshi can get very riled up by Mitsuhide's plotting. Hide' doesn't like deception of any kid, and Mitsuhide is best at operating in a fog of mystery. [Nods and laughs.] My left hand would not be a good sheriff. He wouldn't like trying to get people's faith, he'd be a better secret agent. Covert operator. [Nod nod!] Nevertheless, he is a very good daimyo. Mino province is lucky to have him.
Citizen in Hell, implies someone who escapes all these wars. Who is retired like Katsuie, to be with Oichi in one of the thousands of castles or even someplace quieter, or one of the Western lands where war is not so permanent a way of life. It doesn't offend me, but it's very amusing.
Princesses are the known weakness of all Demon Kings. Daimyo, and anyone with enough skill and ambition like the samurai of my army to become one. [He makes it sound like a game of shogi... and it kind of IS so there's that.] As such, they are employed as much as everyone else to be tools to conquer people's hearts. Daimyo who aren't able to do what Hideyoshi does naturally, would utilize them to the fullest to charm over the people, to maintain castles, to strengthen ties, stores of wealth. There is no place on the field I could put her she wouldn't be targeted. This is different from other princesses too. [Mai, for instance. Mai had a good sense of self-preservation in comparison. Which was saying something.] That is how it is.
If Oichi were here... I would still be very worried. I hope she never comes. She might be better at learning weapons here and now, especially with the female warriors here, the monks are the ones who teach swords in Hell, so there are no female katana users, the monks would not allow it. As such there are almost no female samurai in hell, they are all ninja instead. But here, Maeve and her student use katana. And a few others. Ruby Rose and Jinx are very strong warriors who make their own weapons far beyond the capacity of my time period. But I truly could not tell you what Oichi would want to do here. Whether she would want to learn weapons or not. She could have tried to learn assassin arts, I would never have stopped her there, but she wanted to be a cute princess, so pursued that more. [A shrug.] But more than her physical safety, I would worry about her heart. It would be in constant pain, and I would not handle that very well. As I said, Demon Kings are all weak to their princesses, and she is mine.
tldr history lesson on castes / official positions of authority in Sengoku Japan
[Nobunaga would say it's not that Oichi is unreliable, just that she's a princess in every sense of the word, and there's only so much he can break someone's conditioning without also forcibly harming what it means to be themselves.] I am her Commander, yes. She was an infant when our father died, and that was when I became daimyo, -- let me see. Comparable words... Sheriff, is the Western version in future centuries. If we structure it by army.... [Ticks off fingers to explain the tiers.] The castes. I promised I would talk Hell with you sometime, now's as good as any. [Since he's less moody with Crichton back!! And also having been on a date with Klaus. Yes. TO Spirit Halloween even, so he EXTRA likes this place and is happy in here!] In Hell, this is a dramatic way of referring to Japan in the civil war era. I showed you the map of all the split provinces, yes? I do think we split off into a descended version away from the world now.
The monks are a separate caste tier. Or were. I've done much to change this. In my time, however, they believed that you ascended each tier you were born into by living piously in your previous life. So every new life was a rewarded incarnation. The untouchables, bottom tier, [Demonstrates laying his hand flat. And then three dots of fingers above it.] Are punishment for past misdeeds. [Nods solemnly.] So untouchables cannot have weapons. Their life is forfeit if they offend the higher tiers. They are only able to take on jobs no one else wishes to deal with. Tanning, butchering, cremation. 4 is shin in Japanese, and the same word for death. It is a superstition that 4 is the most unlucky, untouchable even, synonymous with death. A secret -- [A finger over his lips.] Klaus was number 4 to his father, so he is my lucky number. [Nods. Klaus is his bestest ally, worst kept secret.]
Above that are merchants, and cooks, and cleaners. They are generally not allowed weapons. On this tier you also have the ninjas. This is another reason if they wield weapons openly, they are viewed darkly, because it means they are up to something. Ninjas are often entire villages who train in assassination and spy arts. They are good at infiltration, information gathering, and assassination. But they are rarely as strong as true soldiers.
So to soldiers. Soldiers start on this level. [The third!] Peasants, farmers, artists, craftsman, smiths, bodyguards, brothel workers [Yes, they're 3rd, not untouchable. Sengoku Japan yo.] and writers. Hai. [Nods!] They are rarely trained in katana -- swords. But some monks will do so, and the monks and priestesses are sort of in this region, but also a fifth one. There are 4 caste tiers, but the monks tried to create a fifth, much as Sun Tzu advised there are always 5 elements in life. Hideyoshi, my right hand, was born into this. Son of a farmer. But he is the only man alive who could be as strong as me. We will never know, because he is unfailingly loyal. He would never be able to fight me. Hideyoshi and Oichi are a lot alike. If she wasn't in love with Katsuie they could have made a good pair. Oh, but Hide' is also -- [A quiet hum. And waves a hand.] Protective. A big brother personality like mine. I don't think he could view her as anything but a baby sister as well. And he probably would have been forever worried about upsetting me. It's just as well.
Nobuhide, my father, was born to that caste tier as well, but Gozen, my mother, was born to the top caste, as was I. Gozen does whatever she damn well pleases. So she sought to make my father a daimyo. He was... but not because he inherited it like me, he was the Emperor's best general, as I said, despite being a monk.
The top caste is the most complicated. It's viewed as a reward for reincarnation of a pious previous life. All my generals except Hide' were born here. So 3rd tier, you have soldiers, the others are noncombatants. An exceptionally skilled soldier becomes a samurai by being awarded swords. This is what happened with Hideyoshi. Otherwise, me, my brothers, and others born here are raised in learning katana, swords, from the day we're born nearly. Katana, and other weapons. The way of bushido. Along with swords, land and responsibilities to protect people goes along with it. This is what happened with Yasuke. Yasuke was born in Africa, the first black-skinned man to reach Japan, and he became one of my samurai. [Very proud of this. He likes to think if Yasuke showed up on Eterna he could call him a FRIEND too!]
For my brothers, as they could not all become daimyo like me, they had other options. Samurai, diplomats, monks, castles, Nagamasa became a tea ceremony expert. Carving his own path entirely almost. Nobuyuki declared war on me when our father died. I had a reputation for being too quick to embrace new ideas, especially that of the foreigners, non-Japanese, and my detest for tradition and the religious indoctrination meant that even as child, my reputation was... poor. He did not think I could do it.
[Now why was he talking about Nobuyuki again? He spaces out for a little bit.] Although samurai have the most options available... Princesses do not. Some like Gozen can -- [Wavers a hand horizontally on a wobble.] Finagle it. But obedient, well-meaning, respectful princesses, cannot. It's an old argument I often had with Kichou. How to free women without trapping them in war as well. War is... Hell is all wars. There was nearly no way to escape it. No matter tier. The higher you ascended, the more you were involved in the wars.
This the other part of why I exiled Oichi too. She hates war as much as I do, as much as all my generals do. To know war, is to hate it. But she would have broken.
Tacticians -- there is me, and then there is Mitsunari Ishida. He is the second best tactician in the world. Oichi is better at strategy, but she's very clever, and can adapt quickly. The adaption means she would have to be on the field, however. We do not have phones in my time. There is no means for long distance communication short of runners and horseback riders. This is even why I have Ranmaru. His job is to be a ninja, and to carry messages when I cannot deliver myself.
Were I to even employ Oichi as a diplomat, she would have been kidnapped and held hostage. This is why I say I think Japan truly did sink to the levels of hell, that makes this ship look like a step up. Ieyasu was kidnapped by my father almost right before he died. Ieyasu was meant to be insurance to ensure his father, the daimyo's loyalty to one of our enemies, and rather than negotiate, they said Nobuhide could kill him. [EYE ROLL. Such a waste.] I said I never mean to rule over Japan. This is true. I have always been setting up the positions and infrastructure to give it to Hideyoshi and Ieyasu. I cannot give it to only one of them, however. Because Hideyoshi still has so much guilt about not being born into the top caste, he feels like an impostor, and needs someone as strong as me to constantly break him out of this conditioning. Ieyasu is not as strong as Hideyoshi. Hidyeoshi is not just a strong fighter, he's a strong commander. At least as much as I am -- again, we would never be able to test it. He is a strong commander, and with vast understanding of all things military and war. And Ieyasu has been trained since he was six by me personally, even more than Oichi.
I said once to Klaus, my lucky number 4, that I too, tend to "fuck up" most of my relationships. I had to exile Gozen, Oichi, even Nagamasa so he could be himself without my shadow. Hideyoshi is too loyal, and while I gave Mitsuhide, my left hand, a chance to shine as the true genius of our era, he is constantly having to deal with my every minor whim. Ranmaru and Kichou are certainly top tier of those I have messed up. [Laughs and shakes his head.] The only one I can confidently say I haven't messed up is Ieyasu Tokugawa. Because he is strong, smart, and his own brand of fucked up that, for once, is not my fault. I think.
So it goes: [Using his hands again to create tower levels:] solider, samurai, daimyo. Generals, and then there is me. [He doesn't put himself at the top of the tower. His goal was quite nearly to break the tower structure, after all. And his defiance of cultural norms in many ways meant he was nearly under the untouchables! Demon Kings are simultaneously the best and worst!]
There are no kings in Japan. But Demon Kings are all daimyo. To become a daimyo means accepting desiring more ambition and wealth than simply how you are born. This opens your heart to demons. I would have said metaphorically before, but I do have some doubts now, because I do not understand magic, religion, and on this ship I have met goddesses, and things I have no choice but to accept. Meet them for yourself, and you can decide. In any event, from the time I was 13, I became a daimyo. How much land and men this controls, varies from province to province, and what one individually does to claim more. Imagawa Yoshimoto waited so patiently until I was seventeen to try to invade Owari. I thank him for that. [Literally, puts his hand on the Souza Samonji he got from Imagawa, and sarcastically bows.] At least I had the time to unify Owari and the Oda clan, dealing with my brother and Uncle's wars that even my father didn't live to see finished.
Imagawa at the time had 25,000 troops to invade, he meant to go across our border to fight others. Fastest route. I had 1000, Oichi said the sun goddess Amaterasu was surely on my side. I have met Amaterasu now, it is possible she was. Oichi was only five, mind you. [Chinhands for a moment!] But that was as soon as she started begging me to take her onto the field of war. I simply believed she didn't understand how dangerous it was, and it wasn't like I wanted to try to explain that to her. [Amused grin and shakes his head.] From there, Hideyoshi had been my right hand since fighting to unite Owari. Saito Dosan was the man who killed my father, and was Mitsuhide's -- [...] Let's say former employer. [Sure. Beats "Torturer evil uncle."] So I already had -- [Right hand:] Hideyoshi, [Left hand:] Mitsuhide, Ieyasu, and a few other generals. They were not daimyo level until we gained more territory however. Just samurai. Captains, in charge of [Casts his right hand sideways, thinking back to the VERY early days for him.] Hundreds of our army. [Nods!] Then thousands. Now dozens of thousands.
Hideyoshi is a very good sheriff. If I understand the word right. I think I do. We do not have police in hell, and we do not vote our officials in, but if we did either, he would surely have been overwhelmingly voted in. He's very popular. Not just with the army, but all the civilians. To know Hideyoshi is to like him immensely. Mitsuhide as well, but Mitsuhide is -- He's so smart, some people can't stand it. Like Saito Dosan. He hated it. And other people find it very suspicious. Even though Hideyoshi and Mitsuhide have been working together as long as I have known them both, Hideyoshi can get very riled up by Mitsuhide's plotting. Hide' doesn't like deception of any kid, and Mitsuhide is best at operating in a fog of mystery. [Nods and laughs.] My left hand would not be a good sheriff. He wouldn't like trying to get people's faith, he'd be a better secret agent. Covert operator. [Nod nod!] Nevertheless, he is a very good daimyo. Mino province is lucky to have him.
Citizen in Hell, implies someone who escapes all these wars. Who is retired like Katsuie, to be with Oichi in one of the thousands of castles or even someplace quieter, or one of the Western lands where war is not so permanent a way of life. It doesn't offend me, but it's very amusing.
Princesses are the known weakness of all Demon Kings. Daimyo, and anyone with enough skill and ambition like the samurai of my army to become one. [He makes it sound like a game of shogi... and it kind of IS so there's that.] As such, they are employed as much as everyone else to be tools to conquer people's hearts. Daimyo who aren't able to do what Hideyoshi does naturally, would utilize them to the fullest to charm over the people, to maintain castles, to strengthen ties, stores of wealth. There is no place on the field I could put her she wouldn't be targeted. This is different from other princesses too. [Mai, for instance. Mai had a good sense of self-preservation in comparison. Which was saying something.] That is how it is.
If Oichi were here... I would still be very worried. I hope she never comes. She might be better at learning weapons here and now, especially with the female warriors here, the monks are the ones who teach swords in Hell, so there are no female katana users, the monks would not allow it. As such there are almost no female samurai in hell, they are all ninja instead. But here, Maeve and her student use katana. And a few others. Ruby Rose and Jinx are very strong warriors who make their own weapons far beyond the capacity of my time period. But I truly could not tell you what Oichi would want to do here. Whether she would want to learn weapons or not. She could have tried to learn assassin arts, I would never have stopped her there, but she wanted to be a cute princess, so pursued that more. [A shrug.] But more than her physical safety, I would worry about her heart. It would be in constant pain, and I would not handle that very well. As I said, Demon Kings are all weak to their princesses, and she is mine.