Okay- no. No asking the Captain for presents. He doesn't do presents, he's not your friend and he's not going to be your friend. He doesn't care about us. You'd have an easier time asking the ocean for presents, and it would probably try and fuck with your head less. Just... imagine him like the ocean. Old as fuck and hates you and cannot be made to care about you even if you try really hard.

[ Hopefully that should be enough to dissuade him. ]