[OPEN] Tried on 13 different pairs of shoes

[businessorlibation]

Who: Johnny Summer and You
When: January
Where: Hurikane, Tommy Bahama
Summary: December's aftermath settles in hard. Johnny folds himself up, tucks himself away, finds distractions.
Warnings: Alcohol, maladaptive coping strategies, mental health

1. I am dented by the skies [Hurikane]
Sometimes, you just want to slot into old familiar routine, step back into what was work and just. Wear the customer service face, letting people tell you what they want of you and delivering that to the best of your ability. Johnny's behind the bar, mixing cocktails and hoping no one notices how mask-like his smile feels to him right now. Come on over, he'll just...make a drink happen for you. It's the best he can do for anyone in this moment.


2. They keep me up at night [Tommy Bahama]
And sometimes a man's feet get restless, when the end of day comes and lying down in bed feels impossible. There's no snow-covered wilderness to wander here, and that suits Johnny Summer fine. He's an indoor cat, after all, has been ever since...

...so he's at Tommy Bahama alone, taking advantage of its endlessness to go for a nice long walk to try to get the fog out of his mind. Maybe. Or maybe he'll run into a werecougar and have a fight, always possible. He does have his scissors.


3. It’s just a lack of air supply [Wildcard]
darkersolstice or darkersolstice #9463 to plot

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[businessorlibation]

"When you ask so nicely, how can I refuse?" He absolutely and totally makes two Tokyo teas, passing one to 6. "How's Ava?"

[be_seeing_you]

"She is understandably upset. She was killed by the hand of a very close friend. It will take some time for that wound to fade." The metaphorical one.

"What about Doctor Watson? How is he managing? How are the three of you managing for that matter." It hasn't escaped Number 6's notice that this was a rare event for Johnny to step foot off the boat. And to have this happen as a result? Number 6 is worried for his friend over this.

"That was no ideal honeymoon."

[businessorlibation]

"I'm certainly not going to say Watson's 'fine', but he's resilient." Moreso than Johnny, perhaps, who is still Struggling, but working very hard not to let it show to most people.

Number 6, however, gets to see how quickly the first gulps of his drink go down, and how distant his gaze is. There's only so much he'd be able to hide from someone so observant. And only so much he really wants to.

[be_seeing_you]

"He is that. So is Ava, more than she thinks."

Number 6 watches those actions, making no pretense at all about how much he perceives. Johnny could try to hide how rattled he is. It might not work, but he could try. It says something that he isn't.

"You can talk to me, Johnny. You know that. It will stay between us."

[businessorlibation]

Johnny looks down at his glass and takes a deep breath. "I am slowly growing accustomed to being left on my own in times of crisis. It's becoming clearer and clearer that I cannot rely on the idea of having support when the world is falling apart. I don't think I will be on the next excursion, Peter. I don't think I'll be able to make myself cross the threshold."

[be_seeing_you]

Guilt twinges as he thinks how he did not approach Johny during all that went on at the trial. He was so consumed with his own grief it made him blind. But he'd assumed that Cesar would step in, as the third in their triad. Had that not happened?

"Why do you say that? Wasn't Cesar with you?"

[businessorlibation]

"He ran off to check on Rich, leaving me in the snow with Watson." And he rushes to add the next bit. "He's apologized for it. So I can't be mad at him."

Just...hurt. Wounded. In a way he doesn't know how to recover from. And then he was absent from the trial, leaving Johnny alone then as well.

(And he'd also been alone on Halloween, Cesar trapped outside the barrier, Watson possessed. Until, of course, Johnny had killed him. He's gotten into the habit of being there with Watson's corpse, alone.)

"Crabb came to find me later. She investigated the room, while I looked over...Watson." Later hadn't been long, but. It felt like forever, at the time.

[be_seeing_you]

"I'm sorry, Johnny. I was just as absent. For good reason, but that hardly seems to make up for it." He pauses and takes a long drink.

"You can still be angry. An apology is only one half of what you're owed. You should have been a priority."

[businessorlibation]

"'Should have been' is useless now." He shakes his head. Downs the rest of his drink far too quickly. His shoulders hunch in a bit of a defensive posture. "My beloved man has a habit of getting in his head over everything. I swallow my anger, because I don't want to throw it at him. He's beating himself up enough. So I shouldn't pile on."

[be_seeing_you]

"No, you shouldn't pile it on. But, you should make your position known."

He considers drinking faster to catch up but decides against this time. A clear head might be what's needed more.

"I think, because you usually present yourself as so well-put-together that some, myself included, make the mistake of overlooking that you require attention. It's not a selfish ask, you know that don't you? It need not always be you standing as the pillar and foundation of your triad."

[businessorlibation]

"I work very, very hard to present myself that way. If I don't, people might think I'm just some weak sister. I'm short and I'm pretty and I'm...well, you know. I have to put in twice the work to get the same respect. I always have. Asking others to take care of me, that's like admitting I'm not as strong as I seem."

A pause, he rattles the ice in his glass. "Besides, if anyone's the foundation, it's probably John, which is why it's a damned shame he's prone to such misfortune. He's steady and reasonable and wise."

[be_seeing_you]

"I see that now, that you put a lot of energy into maintaining your image. I can sympathize. Not in the same way, obviously. But, Johnny..." He's using a gentle coaxing tone, not patronizing, just concerned. "You are accepted here. Perhaps it's time to allow the facade to soften."

Easier said than done, he knows. So, perhaps a different tact.

"Do you feel your beloveds will think you a weak sister? Do you fear they will respect you less if you ask for their care?"

[businessorlibation]

"I worry that they might. Or see me as a burden. When I don't go on excursions, Cesar often does stay with me. I keep him from getting to explore like he ought to. I hold him back."

[be_seeing_you]

"We carry the burdens for our partners, Johnny, because that is what being a partner means. We make sacrifices because some things matter more than a chance to explore."

Number 6 is ashamed that he had no idea how deep this anguish went for Johnny. This is not one incident, but many piled atop each other. That's clear now.

"Ava has expressed to me that she harbors these same worries. She fears she will burden me as well. She worries she has nothing to offer me in return if she is not strong enough. I wish I knew how I could reassure her that this is not the case. I will repeat it as many times as needed. But, I cannot tell you how much worse it would be for me if she kept those worries hidden. I would sense something is there, but never have the chance to address it."

He fixes his gaze on Johnny, intense, almost to the point of boring into the man. "You need to tell them. You deserve to be heard and they are entitled to know the depths of your fears so that they may help to right them."

[businessorlibation]

He almost seems to wilt under the intense stare, face falling. It's a glimpse behind the mask he's been wearing so long, so carefully.

"I know you're right, but you make it sound simple." It might be simple, in truth, but it's not easy.

[be_seeing_you]

Number 6's expression stays hard. He doesn't react to the falling of that mask for fear it will convince Johnny that his weakness is as sinful as he fears.

"It is simple. And it will require you to summon up a courage unlike any other. Johnny, you made your vows to them. This is how you keep them. Trust your husbands with the truth."

Now, finally, the intensity of his gaze fades. He gulps down the last of his own drink and slides the glass closer to Johnny. "I have faith that you can do this, my friend. You are no weak sister."

[businessorlibation]

"You're right, again. I'm not." He sets both glasses in the sink, either for him to wash later, or for the ghosts to. "Did you want another Tokyo Tea? Or something else?"

[be_seeing_you]

"I don't believe you ever have been."

He considers the question, before lightly shrugging.

"What are you feeling like drinking? I made the first request, you make the second."

[businessorlibation]

"Something strong." Like, for once he's in the mood to drink in order to get drunk, instead of for the artistry of his chosen profession. "So another Tokyo Tea wouldn't go amiss."

[be_seeing_you]

"Make it two. And let's keep them coming. Our cabins are on the way to each other's, after all." Yes, he is willing to get stumbling drunk with you tonight.

"Or, should you want a place to rest, I regret that my cabin is now empty save for me. But you would be welcome to the pull-out."

[businessorlibation]

"Six is gone? Shit, does Cesar know?" He pulls out his phone immediately because of course that's...big. Very fucking big. Even if they'd been on the outs lately, Johnny knows his heart would shatter if he lost Crabb, his one connection to Gallery.

[be_seeing_you]

"He is. I hoped it might be a case that he was finding a dark corner of a bar to sleep in still but... it has been too long since I have seen any evidence of him." Admitting that only makes him want that drink more.

"It was my understanding that he and Cesar were not on good terms."

[businessorlibation]

"They weren't. A misunderstanding over events at Halloween." Johnny types, deletes and retypes a message about three times before finally sending it. He leaves the phone on the bartop and then turns to make another round.

"Given that, I might take you up on the stay in your room. Can't have you getting too lonely now." As if he would, with Ava in the picture. At this moment, either of their rooms can be the love nest.

[be_seeing_you]

He considers offering to be the one to text Cesar, but in the end, he holds his tongue and lets Johnny struggle through it.

"Not to speak ill of the departed, but you are a better conversationalist than he was." Six was a man of very, very few words. He respected the ex-assassin, but they'd always held each other at a distance, especially after Number 6 started dating Ava.

"You're welcome for as long as the space stays vacant, tonight and any night after. Though, I may briefly slip across the hall to check on Ava. I'll send her a message now to let her know I'll be out late." He's already pulling his own phone from his pocket to do just that.

[businessorlibation]

“He was better with a blade than I am.” Though now everyone who was at the trial knows Johnny owns a cursed blade of sorts. No one’s confronted him about that yet.

Johnny and César volley a few texts. “He’s offering to bring us breakfast if we want it. I’m telling him I’ll catch him for lunch instead. I sort of want some alone time with him.”