come_sailaway | Something beautiful happens in this world [Open]

Who: Deputy Pratt and YOU!
What: Cake decorating, showing off his artistic prowess, shovel knight time
When: Later half of January
Where:Sand Dollars, the Library, Upper Deck
Warnings: None! (Well that's rare for him)

1. Sand Dollars
Pratt has completed his scientific research (having Sharky eat various cupcakes while naked) and has taken actual notes which are in the little notepad next to him while he sits at a table in Sand Dollars. He has one of the plastic trays from the buffet and has assembled a circle of cupcakes onto it to resemble a cake and is using a plastic butter knife to spread the frosting around so it looks like it's all one piece.

The wrappers from all of them are on the table nearby, along with some colorful other cupcakes that he's going to scoop the frosting off of in order to write out a message on this cake.

Yes, he is making the Captain a "Congrats on the Sex" cake. Sure it's been a few weeks but his memory is trash okay. He's trying.

2. The Library
Well, the binder is gone, which sucks because Pratt has already forgotten 80% of the contents. He assumes one of those people obsessed with blowing the place up stole it. So he will add his contribution to its recovery.

In its place is a Serena Eterna spiral notebook with a ship on the front, the ship is crossed out and instead there's a reproduction of Ryan's original cat drawing of Guatauva, but every page afterwards also has a cat drawing. He has faithfully recreated every cat internet meme he can think of. There's space above and below to make them into ship-centric memes. So have at.

His drawings look like this because I'm not going to draw 30 cat memes.

3. Deck
Pratt picked up the best package from home he's ever gotten. It was huge heavy and when he unwrapped it he squealed like a school girl because he's so damn excited. Friday is his favorite person for the next few hours because he has his shovel launcher now. Which is exactly what it sounds like, it is a rocket launcher, that shoots shovels.

He has a pile of shovels next to him, as he stands on the deck, aiming at the hull of the ship and then KUHTHUWNK the thing embeds itself into the metal siding and Pratt straight up cackles. Oh this is fantastic.

On the other side of him is his Christmas present he never opened which is 99 cans of Pabst in an absurdly long box and he's about to have the best day. Drink some beer, launch some shovels, spend way too long prying shovels out of the ship to do it again.

Montana's finest, right here.

4. Wildcard
Hit me with anything. He's always in the buffet or arcade or around the deck doing random patrols.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Sometimes he gets carried away, he doesn't talk to a lot of people for longer conversations that aren't all business. ] My lead shinki. It's his job to guide my actions based on his morals. I'm not human, I can't understand to be human and I need help with that.

[ At the question though, he smiles. ] Sure I can. He can refuse the call if he wants, but ideally he wouldn't. Shinki tend not to because the god might release them.

[ A shake of his head. ] Not at all. We're tied together through a name I granted him and it's my magic he's borrowing. He's not a mindless tool like that, he can still communicate with me.

OH okay. I ... kinda think I sorta get it? Maybe? But I dunno if the Demon King understands how to be human either. He's kinda like, too powerful to remember that stuff?

Though he is all in a relationship with Klaus though so maybe he's learning.

That is extremely cool. Having a small army of people you can turn into swords. That's rad.

I haven't asked him to take up the role of being a guidepost. [ So whether that is true or not doesn't really matter, although if he's here long term he might have to do that. ]

[ He smiles. ] I guess so? I haven't ever really had more than two shinki at a given time. A friend of mine, Bishamon, has a walking army. She's had dozens at a time. She's kind of a pain in the ass to fight. [ You know, what's a little trying to kill each other between friends. ]

That's the idea though right? That you become a total pain to fight so no one does it anymore? Like you've ranked up so high, with so many weapons and attacks, that no one wants to do it. Just add some healers into the mix and you'll be unstoppable.

[Video game logic at its finest right here.]

[ He laughs at that. ]

I didn't say I didn't win. [ He totally did. Pretty much every time they've crossed blades, in fact. ]

She's got a massive sword, twin guns, a whip, a lion...total pain in the ass. She's got armor too!

Yukine is a daisho. He's next level! It's a pair of blades, a katana and a wakizashi.

Niiiice. Gratz yo.

Oh sick, the matching set. [Pratt is totally a nerd about swords. Which is why he'll follow Nobunaga around.]

I kinda got super distracted during the trial, did you like... shoot the Captain? Did that work?

I didn't shoot him, or even really attempt to. I was trying...something else. However there was a lot of interference and I was kind of left in an unarmed state.

[ Valdis stepped in, Nobunaga was a mess, it was just too dangerous. ]

He didn't seem that interested in listening to me.

Oh. I'm just super curious what happens if you try to shoot him, does he deflect around it like T-1000, or get hit but nothing happens... I wasn't around when anyone tried to stab him.

He's not too bad if you go talk to him on the bridge. Or he wasn't when I've gone there before. But other people have said he's a jackass, so I dunno. Maybe he likes me.

He could just like you. He doesn't think much of me at all. [ One conversation, but he'd struck a nerve. ]

I'm not really sure. I'm not inclined to take his orders though.

He giving out orders now? Damn, he's stepping up.

Anything interesting? Like.. he's not starting a chore chart or something is he?

No, not that kind of order. He wanted me to bow down to him. [ A rather disgusted snort. ]

I'm a god, I don't bow down to anyone I don't want to. [ He's mostly humble for a god, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have some arrogance. ]

Oh shit. Huh, you know it never occurred to me he'd want like.. obedience and shit. He's never tried to do any of that with people yet. Start his own religion or act like a king or whatever.

But I guess no one wants to be a god without followers, so that makes sense. Just... blows.

Of course no one wants that...I mean, if no one needs you, it's the absolute worst. But don't insult me, he's no god. He's a pathetic creature of some kind, trying to play god.

[ He snorts a little bit. The Captain. ]

You don't get followers by being a tyrant. Gods are there to serve those who believe in them. It's...he's got it all backwards.

You ... you kinda do get followers being a tyrant tho. Like the cult back home straight up kidnapped people and those followers are against their will and they're terrified, or you know... drugged to shit. But they're still followers. Sometimes the people in charge don't give a shit about the quality it's about the quantity. You'd think a few genuine ones would be better than a shit ton of people who's families you murdered but... doesn't seem to be the case.

And it's not like we can get away. Or at least no one knows how yet.

That's just coercion. God don't work on coercion. [ He made a face. A cult, please, he's Heaven-sanctioned and everything! ]

Humans who commit sins do. I don't think he's human though.

Yeah but who says the Captain won't? Can't he kinda do what he wants?

I fucking doubt he's human but I dunno what he is. I'm guessing it's like Cthulhu and if he showed up how he actually looks we'd all go insane from terror. Maybe like five hundred eyes and MC Escher angles and I dunno... teeth in the wrong places. Tentacles.

He certainly thinks so. I disagree. [ Just a plain fact. ] I have a lot of thoughts about this power of his, but I haven't gauged it out properly. I can't decide if it's a limitation of the power, or a limitation of the man that he can't do things that are halfway reasonable.

[ And he doubts they're going to be chatting over coffee anytime soon. ]

It'd take a lot to drive me insane, I've been alive a real long time.

Okay but some of us [Pointing to himself.] Are just regular humans. And my brain is already three week old gelatin with like... lint and dog hair stuck to it. I don't need witnessing unfathomable horrors on top of all the holes I have going on upstairs.

I understand. I certainly wouldn't want anything like that to happen to you.

[ Unspoken mission might be to protect Pratt to the best of his ability. ]

It's alright, even if someday I might be the only one to know, I'd be alright with that.

Something beautiful happens in this world [Open]

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