Murderbot Memshare Time [MARCH]

[serialskiller]

Starters will be in the comments; please pay attention to the number of people for each prompt, as I don't want to overwhelm myself.

For the sake of ease, those entering memories will be assumed to not be noticed until they choose to take significant action in a memory. If, for example, in the kitchen memory, if someone wanted to clean up the mugs and meal packets or read over Ratthi's shoulder, they won't be noticed, but if they decide to stab Mensah, that'll be a notable alteration to the memory, and people are going to freak out.

Full crew depiction here, for visual reference, thanks to tenowls

Comments

[serialskiller]

"Of course I was. I thought the most likely scenario if I was found out was that my memory would be purged again." It entwines its fingers with hers. "That wasn't what happened, though."

[decrypter]

"You've mentioned them before...what did happen, if I can ask?"

The contact keeps her breathing, steady, but it is also proof she's alive. Warm, not corpse cold.

[serialskiller]

"We went to check on one of the other survey teams on the planet. Their SecUnits had been infected by malicious code, a combat override. They tried to install one in me, and nearly succeeded. I shot myself to stop the code from making me a danger to the survey team. And that's how they learned I'm a rogue unit."

A pause.

"I...Helena, may I hold you, please?" It wants to wrap itself around her, close to her as armor.

[decrypter]

"Yes, of course."

An override - it sounds terrifying, if it was threatening enough to require that solution. Something to make it turn from a protector to a hunter, Helena reasons, to force its hand again and do harm. The why of it, she wonders after, as well as if the team managed to save it, but its question she can answer first, and to be held will reassure her as well. More can come when they're both breathing.

[serialskiller]

It moves to sit on the bed, pulls her into its arms gently and just. Holds on. It just holds on. She's here and warm and alive and here and it holds on.

This is the most precious thing it could ever hold.

[decrypter]

This is what Helena had wanted to do for the Security there, when she'd heard the tiny, tiny glimpse at its fear. Hold it close, except with the Security she knows, she can get away with tucking herself very near, with touching and holding back. No hesitation - no fear, even after what occurred. She does not view it as her murderer.

For a bit, they can just do this, until the unspoken tension she'd been holding onto pulls back. This time, she won the gamble, and that has to be enough.

"...Did they bring you back, after you shot yourself?"

Quietly said, so it knows it isn't required to answer. But she wants to know what it went through, what parts of the past it feels comfortable to share.

[serialskiller]

"Of course. And then discussed what to do with a rogue unit while they thought I wasn't listening and couldn't move." Nevermind the fact that memory's getting fucked up soon after this.

[decrypter]

"The key part of that being that they thought such." If it was actually immobilized, it would have said that. But she likes them all more, that they saved it from death, repaying the protection it had been offering.

[serialskiller]

"And then I ran away from them, when they were safe and wanted to bring me home with them."

Is there a hint of guilt to those words? Just a little.

[decrypter]

She thinks on that for a second, with all she knows about it.

"Were they not safe enough to go with?" Was it still afraid then, enough that loneliness was preferable? Was there not enough to prove otherwise?

[serialskiller]

"I didn't know what safe was. I never had been safe. But beside that, there was something I needed to find out, and I couldn't take them with me, to do so."

It grips her tighter. "I needed to know if the reason I had turned off my governor module was in order to go on a killing spree at a mining installation, or if I'd turned it off after, to be sure that never happened again."

[decrypter]

She's quiet, letting the words settle, breathing steady. It's never said so much in so many words, for what it has said - I have had my programming turned against me - she's left be, because it was a wound riddled with guilt. It had to be a choice, to express that. Now she knows, and...

Now she moves her arm slowly, so as not to startle, so she can more properly hold it if it will allow. For all the words are shocking, the guilt has never been in question. Whether it was by choice or by force. There are questions she has, always questions, but Helena will still her tongue, and let Security decide how much to say.

[serialskiller]

"Rogue code, a combat override. We killed fifty-seven human miners. And four ComfortUnits."

It takes a deep breath, one she can feel.

"It was not my choice."

[decrypter]

Why it had shot itself when such a code was placed in it again is abundantly clear. Not fear, but a certainty of the known.

"...he is guilty in the sense that he feels guilt, and the guilt is his. I understand that, too. I remember you saying that."

By Security's choice or not, it had still happened. It didn't erase the feelings that were there. Things occurred, and even if it wasn't someone's active fault, the blood still was there. Even if all sixty one of those people had woken up the next day like Helena did, it wouldn't alter the cause of death.

[serialskiller]

"At the trial. Yes, that's what I was talking about at that time." It nods slowly, something tender and hoarse in its voice. "Now Skulduggery will carry that, regardless of if it was his fault."

[decrypter]

"Yes. And no one can carry it for him, wherever he might go. What guilt he feels is his to bear. But where he walks, he's not walking on his own. And those beside him do not pass judgement on the burden he carries."

She isn't just talking about Skulduggery.

[serialskiller]

"You actually think no one's judging him after everything? There's a divide in the passengers, with a few very strong loud voices who don't trust him or the Captain in the least."

Shhhh, it's pretending not to recognize the comparison.

[decrypter]

It can pretend all it wants, but currently, she's not letting go of it.

"Of course there are. But he can't let their mistrust stop him from ever taking a step forward, from living his life and proving that is not the entirety of who he is. Maybe, if allowed, the voices of the ones who trust him can fill his ears, so those who'd cast him down find little space to be heard."

Maybes, might be-s. It is far, far more than merely a killer, and that is an iron-clad fact to her. Everything that happened, it does not make her care for it one bit less. In fact, it only increases how she feels.