[open] funky town

[broshaw]

Who: Sharky Boshaw and YOU!
What: Post-Labyrinth vibe checks, advice column recruitment, also the Hot Tub Prompt
When: All of May
Where: Windjammer, Tommy Bahama, Rainbow Renly's & the Hot Tub
Warnings: General Sharky warnings apply (so check his info post)
Notes: Does your character need IC advice, possibly read to them live on air? Then come on down and drop off questions (or song requests!) here in Sharky's shoebox!


[closed] gotta make a move to a town that's right for me
[the lights come back on, and the welcome-back drinks eventually put Sharky in a comfortable stupor that passes for sleep once he's lying horizontal in his bed. as far as he's concerned, this whole thing was a success: they survived another "excursion," nobody's head's up on any walls, and according to Ava, the ship isn't running on child abuse anymore, sooooo, like, hooray, you know?

he doesn't think about what that last part means until later on, once he's woken up and gone out to get some breakfast. nothing weird about it, really, except when he comes back, his room is still trashed? which, uh. is only really unfortunate for his bathroom, TBH. so, okay! no child labor means... what, no more room cleaning? or does he have to ask for that specifically? hmm. gonna need to hit up Friday. oh, and he can ask her if it's still cool to use the PA system! yeah, that sounds like a good time...

and just like that, the whole of the labyrinth fades contentedly into the back of his mind. as far as apocalypses go, the waiting room full of heads doesn't come close to three years of life in a bunker.]

1. [Windjammer] a town to keep me movin'
a. [almost three more days go by before Sharky realizes that, like his room, something is different about the restaurants. when he takes food from a tray at the buffet, it doesn't refill, leaving him feeling pretty self-conscious about the huge plate of hot wings, fries and hashbrowns that he's put together. he's just about to put back a piece of cornbread before reconsidering...]

Pretty sure you're not supposed to put stuff back once you take it... but I didn't touch it, it just touched my plate... ugh, but the sauces...

[yeah, he's gonna be stuck on this dilemma for a while.]

b. [...but eventually, he gets over himself, piles up some food, and finds a spot to sit at. now that he's got a huge plate and the knowledge of limited supply, he's approaching this with the same tenacity and determination of a professional food eater. he may have taken it slow aboard the ship in the past, but his post-Collapse years of eating fast and limiting waste has him scarfing down food on autopilot. too bad there's no youtube here, this mukbang would probably get mad views.]

2. [Tommy Bahama] a town to keep me groovin'
[one thing that's the same? Tommy's Place, babeeeeeyyy!!! Sharky's recently thrown a bunch of clothes into a random hall closet cleaned out his wardrobe from the last couple of months, and aside from his favorite key shirts, he's prepared to go deep into the TB to find some weird, choice prints. (he'll go check the b&g later. he doesn't want his heart broken...) he has a pocket full of teriyaki meat chunks to ward off the bahanamal, just in case it comes sniffing around him, but he's been mostly respectful of the creature's space and so, in turn, it has respected him. it's some real man vs wild bullshit, I'll tell you that much.

anyone who winds up as deep into the Tommy Bahama as Sharky is will find him wearing his TB-brand underwear, trying on clothes and dumping the ones he doesn't want on the floor. (maybe this is the sort of thing that keeps the bahanamal from attacking him...) there's no modesty when he spots other people; he just waves a ship-branded water bottle overhead and says:]

You've walked a long fuckin' way to get here... You need some water, dude?

3. [Rischie Rainbow Renly??] grooving with some energy
[the weirdest thing is the fact that the bars all have Westeros themed names. he knows about the brother sitch by now, and the whole name thing... but does that mean...

nah. NAHHHHH. that would be crazy. he's just gonna forget all about that 4th wall crap.

Sharky settles in at the bar and takes a moment to realize that the liquor isn't getting replenished, either. aw, damn. that won't stop him from drinking right now, but it does mean that he tucks one of the bottles of vodka into his ship-branded tote, just in case.

he has a shoebox with him, "ADVICE & SONG REQS" written in permanent marker on the side. it's on the bar beside him -- and later on, when he's messing with the DJ equipment, it can be found sitting on the edge of the platform.]

4. [Late Night Hot Tub] well, i talk about it, talk about it, talk about it
[some things will never change, and that includes peaceful nude nights in the hot tub. Sharky's got his music playing, an airport novel in hand, and two bottles of beer, one opened and one still capped. familiar faces will be greeted with a wave and an offer,] Wanna beer or a soak?

[while new faces will get his customary warning about him and his general lack of clothing:] Pants-free zone ahead, FYI!

[wildcard] gotta move on
(Have something in mind? Message me or just throw something up and see what happens!)

Comments

[broshaw]

"You ever try Febreeze???"

He's 60% sure there's a bottle of that shit in the laundry room, but he almost never goes down there, soooo...

"And yeah, probably. Just need a shit ton of spices, jalapeños, meat, some cocoa powder... oh, and you gotta let that shit stew for like, hours, so probably some security while it's cooking... Definitely gonna have less of a nasty old man stink to it, anyway."

[decohere]

"Yeah, I wear deodorant. I'm not that gross." Okay most days. But no, clearly she has no idea what magic in a bottle it is.

"And beans," she adds in. Because if he's the not beans in chili type, then maybe she'll have to rethink their team up.

[broshaw]

"No, dude, Febreeze. It's in a little blue spray bottle, usually??" Knowing this place, it's probably some off-brand Good Value Smell spray, but it has to be blue "You spray it on clothes so they don't stink. Weed, cigarettes, uhhh, other... stuff, it's for shit you can't wash. Like super suits." Or fursuits... not that he's, uh, saying anything about that!!

"And yeah, obviously. Chili's gotta have beans in it. Otherwise, it's just fancy meat sauce!"

[decohere]

"So perfume... for clothes?" Well she supposes she shouldn't be so surprised such a thing exists. She can't be the only one having to squeeze into nasty unbreathable fabric. And she guesses you can't shove a sofa into a washing machine either. "Will have to look out for it." Wow Sharky is always full of such useful practical advice. She wishes she ever had any words of wisdom to offer in return.

She splashes her fingertips idly across the surface of the lavender-scented water. "Knew I liked you."

[broshaw]

Even after seeing her at her lowest in that motel room memory, Sharky has trouble remembering that Ava really doesn't know much about life outside of the whole "super nazi spy" thing. If there was ever a time for a handbook on how to adult better, it would be now!

"Yeah, well, just wait until you actually try the chili I'm gonna make. I'd say Peter's gonna have to watch out, but let's be real, it's no contest." A dramatic sigh, "It would have been hot to get to feel your feet up, but I'm not the settling down type."

[decohere]

She laughs, and gives him a gentle nudge with her foot against his knee. "It's not a matter of competition, but loyalty. You're the sort anyone would be lucky to have." So she thinks Sharky is up to far more romantic affairs than he is.

"I didn't think I was anything. The loner type." By necessity. It's still strange that she has so many attachments now, and doesn't view them as weakness. "Until the right guy showed up. And I had thought that was Malcolm, because we were both rather messed up. But you saw how that went." Their insecurities had created a rather unfortunate feedback loop that left her feeling even worse about herself. Even if he hadn't vanished, she's uncertain how long it even would have lasted.

Especially when she realizes how far back her interest in 6 had began.

"Peter is... he's not at all what I would have thought I'd have fallen for." She really thought she'd have preferred to avoid other agents, that they were the last she should trust. Yet it had allowed such a natural understanding of each other's needs. "But now it's impossible to want to be with anyone else. I don't think I could handle the whole... open relationship thing. But I think it's nice that it works for you." She's never been the sort that thought her own lifestyle preferences needed to apply to everyone.

[broshaw]

"Yeah, yeahhhh," he waves his hand, "I got hordes of hotties waitin' to bone down." Which isn't strictly true, but hey, he's an optimist.

Sharky makes a face at the mention of Malcolm. He's pretty neutral about the guy himself, but the way he handled his relationship with Ava fucking sucked! If he could, he'd punch that guy in the face... but he can't, because his ghost probably got released with all the other ones. Boo...

"Peter's a good dude. Way better than Malcolm, TBH. And it's not that I like, need an open relationship. I'd be down to be monogamous if it was the right person. Or, like, persons, I guess..." He isn't not thinking about the hot Changelings with a private fire pit and extremely doable asses...

"I guess that's still polyamory though, huh, not monagamy."

[decohere]

She thinks Sharky is just too much a swanky gentleman to name names, so she doesn't question the truth of his dalliances, nodding along.

"Well, I'm hardly an expert. But I don't think you have to be monogamous to be exclusive." There's a married throuple that proves that! "If that's eventually what you're looking for... what sort of person or persons do you consider right for you?" Sharky said he'd sleep with pretty much anyone, back at camp. But settling down and committing with probably not so.

[broshaw]

"Yeah, true, I guess not." He never really considered it before coming here; after all, he was lucky to get a date with one person back home, much less two people who were both interested in him!

He gives the question some consideration, mostly because he hasn't thought about the idea of settling down since the Collapse. "Uhhhhh, I dunno. TBH, I never figured anyone would, uh, want? To settle down with me or anything. Which is cool, like, I like bein' a free agent. But... I dunno! Anyone who likes me, doesn't act like I'm stupid even though I am, who isn't settling for me." That sounds so fuckin' lame, even to him, that he struggles to slap something more objective on at the end. "I guess if they cook good food and like setting shit on fire? That's good, too."

[decohere]

She used to think he was so confident, because he had been far more secure in his sexuality than she was. Far more relaxed with his hanging out naked, sharing advice... but Ava has seen those small bits of insecurity too. Saw him drinking far too much, and then struggling in the aftermath of the Nothing. She had briefly met his infamous cousin he seemed to measure himself against. And it all seems so unfair, that somebody so giving and good-natured would think that nobody wants him beyond a few casual flings. Ava drifts from the opposite end of the hot tub to settle in next to Sharky instead.

"You're not stupid," Ava insists. "You've taught me all sorts of things. And I'm so much better off for it. Maybe the right person hasn't showed up yet, but it's not because you're not deserving of it. Or they're just intimidated by how great you are."

[broshaw]

He purses his lips petulantly, not because she's wrong so much as that he doesn't think she's right. (These are two completely different things, obvi -- one is objective, and the other is hella subjective.)

"Nah, don't get me wrong. I know plenty of shit, just not about, like... smart stuff. Y'know, books and math and, uhh, I dunno, basic adulting shit. Like checkbooks and taxes." He's never paid taxes in his life. "But I know how to party, and I'm, like, empathic or whatever," empathetic, "I can fix almost anything with duct tape and I know how to turn pretty much anything else into a bomb." He shrugs. "I just don't think, like, that's really husband material. Or even boyfriend material."

[decohere]

"I know plenty of math," Ava sighs. Because that seems to be what everyone thinks of as smart. "But being intelligent comes in all sorts of forms. You learned skills that were important to your environment and survival. I never learned how to do taxes either, why would I? But being smart about people is incredibly valuable. And having good improvisational thinking, the willingness to problem solve when you don't have prior training or education. Those are things so many people fall apart in." But areas that she thinks Sharky shows strength in.

"Why wouldn't anyone want a boyfriend that was willing to make a better situation out of a bad one? To me that's one of the best things you can do for your partner. That's what Peter does for me. Understand my feelings and my struggles with my past, and find ways to accommodate my weaknesses instead of making me feel weaker for them."

She frowns. "What do you think good husband material is?"

[broshaw]

Awww, man. He can feel himself blushing under the weight of Ava's affirmations. But Ava is a friend, and a good one at that -- if he's going to be embarrassed by anyone saying nice things about him, it's going to be her. (Or Pratt, but they usually couch their compliments in plenty of dick jokes to avoid the accusation of sincerity.)

"It's just, like... You guys know me now, but if you'd known me back home, like, before the Collapse, you'd probably think I was a real fuckin' weirdo. 'Cos I was. I mean, I am still, but..." But he was a greasy, gross redneck whose own goddamn parents didn't wanna be around. He just does not get how everyone here seems to like him, when everyone back home avoided him as much as possible.

"And... I dunno. I guess all the stuff you said..." He just can't make it apply to him in his head. "Someone who's got your back, and knows how to read you even if you don't really know how to read yourself? Like... like how Ossie and Giles always seem to know what the other's thinking, you know? Just somebody you click with really well, I guess."

[decohere]

"Lucky for you, weirdos are a hot commodity around here," she teases, giving his reddening cheek a little poke. "Back home I was a science experiment and an assassin for what turned out to be the bad guys and then a fugitive from the government... lonely, friendless, miserable. And I'm probably dead back there by now." Not that she thinks there's a specific 'now' in the timeline, when the entirety of it exists at once.

"So I get not feeling up to par. Especially when I compare myself to so many people here who are so effortlessly sociable and charming, could never figure out what I could possibly have to offer. But despite all that, turned out all my weird flaws and paranoid tendencies actually weren't just something that Peter tolerated, but actually complemented what he needed out of a relationship too." She's sure the levels of trust and communication she requires to feel comfortable would come off controlling to anyone else, but it's the sort of thing that she can provide 6 in return. They're good for each other, but probably not anyone else.

"So that's what you got to look out for. Somebody that appreciates those great qualities you have. That makes you feel good about yourself when you're around them. Those are the people worth holding onto."

[broshaw]

"Yeah, true..." But Ava's forgetting a key component, there: she's hot. Like, okay, maybe she doesn't wash her hair enough and mayyyybe she needs to start using some evening cleanser for her skin, but still, she is literally H-O-T on fire.

"I guess I just don't really... get it? Like, yeah, you already said it all, I just... don't feel it?" Not really. Hearing someone talk about his good qualities is nice, but he can never seem to internalize praise. It's fluff to him -- designed to make him feel better, even if it isn't really true.

They're not really that different, honestly. Ava's just managed to take a step further than Sharky's been able to.

"And by that standard, uhhh, I should probably go get gay married to Pratt. But that's mostly because I know he already knows I'm a chud, so there's no pressure to be anything else." Pratt knows all about his checkered past and Hurk, the two things that used to define him in Hope County. Maybe that's the real problem -- he knows what made him him back home, but he's still not sure where he stands on the boat. What kind of guy is he supposed to be, without Hurk around to compare himself to?

[decohere]

Maybe going through the entire routine of taking care of her hair is a bit more than she wants to deal with daily, Sharky!! But he's probably never seen its truly curly state to truly appreciate how much actually goes into it. So what if it's a bit tangled. Napping and day and the sea breeze does that.

"Yeah, I never really felt it either. Until I did," Ava knows she can't be the one that makes Sharky feel the way she's trying to describe. But she wants him to at least believe in the possibility, to look for it instead of just writing off such a thing ever happening...

Pratt's another that she worries a bit about. And sure, she thought for awhile there was maybe something going on there between them. But that doesn't seem to be what either of them are looking for. Pratt was more wrapped up in the Izzy type, and she can't see Sharky fulfilling that sort of dynamic. "Don't know what a chud is," Ava's slang is rather spotty and her closest approximation is somewhere between chad and chum. But she doesn't think Sharky is stinky fish bait.

"But there shouldn't be any pressure to be anyone else anyway."

[broshaw]

Hey, Sharky's not judging, he's just being objective!!!!

"It's one of those weird headspace dealios I don't wanna, you know. Dealio with." Haha. "So I'll just keep truckin' along until somethin' comes up and forces the whole ish. Until then, I'm good with just relaxing. You learn to take things as they come after the apocalypse."

Oh, right. "IDK the deets, I never looked it up on Urban Dictionary or anything, but chud's just another word for a dumbass. At least, that's how I use it." And since there isn't an urban dictionary here, he gets to decide the meanings for himself!

[decohere]

"Oh, sorry," Ava puts her hands up apologetically as Sharky expresses not wanting to deal with it. She can accept her attempts aren't going quite the way she hoped in encouraging and might be bordering on pushing too hard now.

She just inhales some of the lavender aroma and relaxes back into the water, up to her chin. "Who do you think is the chuddiest chud on the ship?"

[broshaw]

"Nothin' to be sorry for." Seriously, he just doesn't know what else to say past "IDK but I sure hope one day I figure it out!"

Besides, there's a way more important subject to discuss, and that's who the dumbest motherfucker on the boat is. "Man, I dunno. Like, a chud can be dumb or ugly or both, but I always figured it was kinda rude to talk shit about people's looks," when he looks like he does, he means. "But... HMMMM. Shit, this is harder than I thought it'd be. Who is the biggest dumbass on board other than me and Pratt???"

Like, objectively speaking, they do some pretty stupid shit when their brains misfire.

[decohere]

Ava really isn't the best judge of traditional standards of attractiveness anyway, she just thinks everyone she likes is good looking and everyone that annoys her is not.

"I mean at least you and Pratt are self-aware about your limitations, and admit what you don't know, yeah? I think the bigger dumbasses are the ones that go around thinking they're smarter than everyone else without realizing how fucking stupid they are."