Lights Go Out and I Can’t Be Saved

[redlightgreenlight]

Who: Valdis and Open with Some Closed
What: Valdis does stuff around the Serena Eterna, feel free to join her
When: September
Where: All over
Warnings: In each starter



Confusion never stops | Crichton | CW: None

Valdis hasn’t seen much of Crichton since she tried to remove Harvey last, but with her and Cassandra’s suspicions, she knows she needs to talk to him. He appears to be in his room on this particular evening, so she gently knocks on his door.

“Crichton?” She calls softly, trying to find the balance between worry and rage.

It’s not his fault that Harvey took over and started targeting people, but if he’s losing time again, she felt that he should have told her. Or at least somebody.

“Are you there?”

Closing walls and ticking clocks | Siffleur | CW: none

The one person she’s been avoiding is also the one person who she needs to see and it was only a matter of time before the two predators ended up in the same room by accident or on purpose. There’s a tightness in her chest when she sees Siffleur at one of the tables in Sand Dollar, anxiety perhaps. She’s been refusing soul energy again for fear of killing someone. She’d managed for awhile last time, but she knows she’s weakening herself by not having any backup.

But she still tries to ignore him, making some coffee and heading to a table with lots of room for escape should it be necessary.

Gonna come back and take you home | Open | CW: none

Valdis is struggling, but trying to keep her schedule as normal as possible. Meditation in the morning sunlight, sword practice in the afternoons. Reading a book from Cassandra in the spare quiet moments. Sometimes she practices what she’s reading, but mostly it seems frustrating for her and she’ll shut the book firmly before grabbing something else.

She’s doing her best to not withdraw from her friends, but she is less outgoing than people are used to, spending hours in the library or drawing people she knows on the ship.

Event Starters | Open | CW: The flowers are dangerous

Red Rose:
A rose by any other name is still as sweet and the red roses growing on vines in the library smell sweet. So sweet that anyone who smells them falls in love with the next person they lay eyes on. Valdis is wearing a makeshift mask and trying very hard to avoid getting too close to the flowers as she searches the shelves for a specific book.

Angels Trumpets:
Valdis sits in Sand Dollar reading, and another of her sits across the table, the one clearly trying to ignore the bookless one as she smirks and says in hushed tones:

“It wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t gotten so weak. Trust is so human.”

Purple Hyacinth:
If her past self following her around hadn’t been bad enough, the purple hyacinths growing outside her door decided to make her day even worse. Faces of the people she’s killed, the ones in the village, keep coming to mind. People she knew. People who didn’t deserve it. People who had once been friends.

She’s back at the bar and drinking as much as she possibly can, making sure it’s not the non-alcoholic stuff. She needs the real stuff and anyone who sees her can clearly see that she has probably had too much, even if they know it doesn’t affect her.

I could not stop that you now know | Wildcard | CW: As Necessary

PM to discuss or just go for it!

Comments

[teethoftherisk]

After the better part of two months, he's finally got his beard back - even if it's still very short. He's trying to enjoy it while he can, because he knows he's about to probably lose it again.

He spots Valdis come in for coffee, watches her notice him and then carefully avoid him. Siffleur pretends like he's ignoring her, staring at the book where his mother's been chatting with him. He waits for her to sit down and get comfortable. Siffleur shuts his book and picks up his cup, taking it to the counter as if to busk it. It's all just so he can stash the book and pen to pick up later, once he's alive.

Then he goes straight to the corner Valdis has trapped herself in and sits down across from her. He keeps himself carefully blank because he doesn't want to yell at her, not until he knows exactly what went down. "Why did you sign up for the melee?"

[redlightgreenlight]

Trapped isn't exactly the right word, she has surrounded herself with escape routes, even the shadow on the wall behind her allows for a quick exit. Besides, she's still fairly confident that she is stronger and faster than Siffleur, so when he sits down across from her she stays relatively calm.

"That's none of your concern." It is considering the offer he made months ago, but she doesn't want anyone else on the lookout or reaching the same conclusion she and Cass did. "Everything is going to be fine regardless."

Hopefully the book she borrowed will give her some insight into both her problems.

[teethoftherisk]

He stares at her, flat yellow eyes taking in her attitude, the dismissing and hostility that she's clearly using as a shield. Why though? They aren't exactly friends, but he had thought they were being honest with each other.

Siffleur sits there for a moment or two of silence.

"I offered you my life to help you keep this place safe. Did you join the melee because my death doesn't matter, or because you no longer want to control the rage inside of you?"

[redlightgreenlight]

"I'm not going to take your life, Siffleur, it's too precious and a last resort."

Valdis looks him straight in those yellow eyes with her own emerald green gaze. She knows he deserves an answer, knows he might not be filled with fury like Cass and Ashley and Erin, but the predator wants to avoid any sign of weakness in addition to protecting Crichton. It's not likely that Siffleur will go after her friend, but she doesn't want Harvey getting any kind of head's up.

"And of course I want to control the Void, I could lose everything I love should it take over."

Wildcard as discussed!

[astrogator]

[Ari hasn't spoken to anyone about the latest excursion, because she doesn't want to know. Who was gleeful about the killing, who was traumatized by it. They signed up. It's not her problem. She did intend to ask Valdis about her investigational findings, but she'd been waiting, hoping to find a good time for it.

Now seems as good as any. Especially as she now has other worries. She finds the older woman reading, and approaches her.]

Peace and prosperity. Is this a bad time to talk?

[Ari looks tired and ill-at-ease, but that's hardly anything new.]

[redlightgreenlight]

[Valdis looks up from her reading. It's not the tome this time, but just something for fun.]

No, I was about to take a break.

[In all the chaos of the melee, she had failed to probe the borders of the reality they had visited, but Ari looks more tired and stressed than usual. She knows the girl values her privacy and has grown used to not feeling her emotions, so it says something that she can clearly see the stress. Ari does her best to be composed.]

What can I help you with?

[teethoftherisk]

"You told me that death leaves you exhausted of soul energy. You died in the melee. You need energy but now you're avoiding me. Why?" She's frustrating him. Siffleur doesn't understand. The last time they'd spoke, they seemed on good terms. Why stonewall him now? "I watched you nearly lose control before. You made it clear to me how dangerous it was to you."

[redlightgreenlight]

"Siffleur..." she bites her lip. "I did die in the melee, and I like to think I know you well enough that you won't retaliate against the person responsible. I understand that your life is on the line and I know your mother is likely not pleased by that. I would prefer it be a last resort, if only so I don't grow complacent."

[teethoftherisk]

That finally gets a reaction out of him - puzzlement, then mild annoyance. Is that what this is about? "Valdis, I'm not going to kill anyone over this. It was a melee, people had no choice. I'm frustrated by your choice-"

Huh. He tips his head. Suddenly it makes sense. He hadn't understood why she was in the melee in the first place - she was certainly willing to fight, and unafraid of killing, but she was the type to step in and do that for someone else. This was a volunteer event.

"You didn't put your name in. Someone else did." He crosses his arms over his chest. "And you think I'm stupid enough to kill them instead of letting you handle it."

[astrogator]

[Ari slips into the seat opposite her, leaning back in the chair.]

I'm not sure how to ask this so I'm just going to do it.

[When in doubt, be straightforward, and people might not like it but at least they won't misunderstand you.]

The thing you can do to fuel your abilities. The energy transfer. Is there anyone else on the ship who can do it, to your knowledge? Or something similar?

[redlightgreenlight]

"I don't recall calling you stupid, in fact I think it is highly unlikely you will retaliate, but others have not given me the same impression and my judgement has been compromised as of late. I needed to be sure."

She swirls her coffee around her cup, instinctively knowing where each exit is. Despite Siffleur's relative penchant for logic over emotion and his desire to stay out of the drama of others, she's not sure of her own judgement of character.

"But no, I did not sign up for the melee. Someone else put my name down and I was compelled to fight. It's a horrible betrayal of my trust and I'm not sure what to do about it yet."

[redlightgreenlight]

[Valdis tips her head, suddenly concerned.]

To my knowledge, no one else on this ship can do what I do. Bash and Palamedes are both gone and they are the only two I can think of who might be able to do something similar.

[She hasn't been taking anything from Ari since their original contract ended, and she hasn't felt anything moving around the ship with energy similar to hers.]

Is everything alright?

[astrogator]

[She looks almost disappointed. If it had been a person, Ari could have told them to cut it out, as forcefully as she needed to.

In the interest of considering all eventualities, the thought had occurred to her that it might be Valdis herself - but she'd dismissed it very quickly. They had their differences, but Valdis wasn't like that. If she needed it, she'd ask, Ari was certain of it.]

I think... I think I might be very ill. [It's said quietly, because genetically-enhanced Arilanna Tayrey should not get ill.]

[redlightgreenlight]

[Valdis arches a brow, evaluating more closely.]

You don't smell ill.

[Valdis reaches out, but hesitates, pulling her hand back]

May I check your energy levels?

[She recalls that Ari doesn't believe in souls and prefers to think of herself like a battery. It's not wrong, but it's not entirely correct either. Nonetheless, she needs to ask permission first.]

[astrogator]

[She feels ill, thinks Ari, although she hasn't much basis for comparison. There was that shipside fever, but that had hit hard and been over quickly. This is something else.]

Sure. I don't mind that.

[Ari does appreciate being asked for permission! Slowly, she holds out her hand. There are no drugs in her system at this particular moment. If trauma and damage are apparent in a soul - well, they're there in abundance, but there's no physical illness, and nobody has been siphoning off her soul energy.]

[redlightgreenlight]

[Valdis takes her hand and focuses, sending her own soul through their connection to examine Ari's. It feels strong, like it always did, though a little battered by whatever she is going through emotionally. She can almost feel what Ari does, but she can't quite tell. Still, the soul isn't tainted or poisoned and the 'battery' feels full.

Valdis withdraws first her soul and then her hand.]

You feel strong and determined like usual.

What symptoms are you experiencing and when did they start?

Confusion never stops

[ss_buttcrack]

"Valdis?" He opens the door for her immediately. "Yeah, I'm here. Is everything okay? Do you want to come in? Arthur isn't here."

[astrogator]

[Ari looks uncertain. Valdis can't detect any illness, or any draining of her energy, so what must that mean? That it's all in her head? What can she even say, that she's exhausted and falling asleep during the day? Valdis will just tell her to sleep more at night.]

It's alright. I'm probably overreacting. You know how this place is. [She's aiming for quiet reassurance.] But thank you, for taking a look. It's good to be able to rule possibilities out.

[Then she leans forward a little.] Did you find anything? On the other side of the portal? [Not the smoothest attempt to change the subject, but she hopes it'll work.]

[teethoftherisk]

"I'm not telling anyone else your business." The set of his mouth makes it clear that yes, he is offended that she thought he'd do that after everything. But he's not going to harp on it. She doesn't understand who he is, maybe she won't ever get it, but he can't make her see anything she's not ready to see yet. "And I'm not getting involved. I assume you have an idea who did it, and a plan on how you want to handle it. If it involved me, you would have told me from the start."

"But I don't want you avoiding me or hiding things that would clear this up. I don't need to know your business when it doesn't involve me, but I should know enough to know you aren't being an asshole for no reason." He leans forward in his chair. "I know you don't want help, but you need it. Did you get soul energy from your friends yet?"

Because she might not be on empty, but Siffleur knows from the last time they talked about this that she certainly lost a lot when she died in the melee.

[redlightgreenlight]

"I hope so, but I wanted to check on you."

There's a tiny scuttling noise that rushes past her right after Crichton opens the door. It's Ody and he seems to have acquired another knife. Before she can stoop to grab him he's run straight into Crichton's foot.

[ss_buttcrack]

Crichton backs up when he hears that scuttling. Come on, not again! Jab. The knife gets stuck in the toe of his boot.

"Oh yeah? Did you bring backup with you, too?"

Everything in him wants to send that crab soaring with a shake of his foot, but he doesn't think Valdis would appreciate that much.

"Can you call off the attack crab, please?"

[redlightgreenlight]

Valdis looks away. She can feel his anger, but she's not quite sure exactly where it is focused in the conversation, but it is generally at her. It's not exactly a position she's found herself in before, being betrayed by someone she thought was a friend. She has enemies she didn't know existed and after everything she still wants to trust people. She doesn't want to be alone again. But the one thing she can't trust surfaced in her panic and someone loved by someone she cared about had died. He had died brutally and Ava hadn't spoken to her since, and Valdis was too afraid to seek Ava out.

"I'm very shaken right now, Siffleur. It has more power than I thought it did and I lost control of it in the melee. I...am afraid if I try to take energy from someone I will kill them by accident. Enough people have died because of me already and I don't think I could handle killing Max, or Klaus or Nobunaga." She stops, trying to gather herself. "I know I need help...but...I'm scared"

It's not a feeling she's used to. Confidence, pride, power. She's had all these things for as long as she can remember. But fear? Fear is new.

[redlightgreenlight]

Valdis gently pulls the knife out of Crichton's boot and picks up her wayward pet.

"Sorry. I don't know how he keeps getting out."

Ody flails around in her hands, but soon settles down and she sets him out in the hallway where he just scuttles away again.

"Something happened at the excursion that I wanted to discuss with you."

The scuttling seems to be coming back so she quickly steps inside the room and shuts the door in time for a tiny crash to occur as Ody bounces off the door.

[ss_buttcrack]

"Maybe you should put a leash on 'im." Crichton is pouting about the fresh nick in his boot. What the hell does that crab have against him, anyway? Is it because he's from Florida?

But he sobers when she explains her actual reason for being here. "Oh? What happened? It seemed like a relatively mild one. Giant gladiator bloodbath aside..."

[redlightgreenlight]

She takes a breath, knowing that Harvey is listening and he will know that she suspects him that moment she asks her question.

"Have you been losing time at all? Ending up in places and you don't know how you got there? Been unable to account for hours or minutes that you know you were awake for?"