You saw my pain, washed out in the rain (OPEN)

[astrogator]

Who: Arilanna Tayrey and YOU!
Where: The infirmary
When: Early October
What: Visit her! Or visit the infirmary for another reason and notice her.
Warnings: Head injury and its consequences, discussion of violence, possession, and the ethics of torture.
Notes: Also works as a catch-all for later threads when she's better!



1. But you saw no fault, no cracks in my heart

[This is what it takes to get Lieutenant Tayrey to actually rest. A nasty head injury with concussion. She's been in and out of consciousness for days, and while she's out of danger now, she's staying put. This is new territory; while the infirmary is well-supplied and Doctor Watson is very competent, the resources here don't compare to the advanced technology of the Tradelines. Her genetic enhancements protect her, mean that she heals quickly, but she can't tell just how long it might take - and given what she witnessed on her visits to Earth's past, she's very worried about infection.

That and function, although she's held off on running cognitive tests on herself just yet, in case the medicines she's taking have some side-effects. (She needn't worry, Cardalek genetics are more impressive than even Miri Carrington realised, and she'll be fine.)

Now, however, she's well enough to sit up in bed, her head bandaged. Despite everything, she's still wearing her Tradeline jacket. It keeps her warm, and it's a comfort, and now that she's feeling a little better, she's once again concerned with the impression she's giving. It's her intention to stay as cheerful as she can, not complain about the pain or the unfairness of the situation. Physical injury was always a hazard of her job, and she'd been taking a risk by trying to use Harvey for her own purposes.

When a visitor arrives, she might be sipping a mug of Cardalek coffee, or trying to braid her hair to keep it neat and away from the bandages, or watching a comforting old episode of For the Company on her slate computer. Using the computer for work isn't advisable yet, but holovids are no trouble.]

2. So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light

[Wildcard! For anything else. PM or MillisaK if you'd like to discuss ideas.]

Comments

sorry I failed at keeping up with this post! back properly now

[astrogator]

I talked to her about Harvey. About what she wants to do to him.

[Ari says it quietly, but firmly. It's something that matters to her, more than she could have predicted it would.

Does he need to know what happened, truly? She could withhold it, say that it's her own business, and there would be a certain merit in that, a certain reasoning, but she doesn't want to be disobliging if she doesn't have to be.]

He worked with me on the wormhole project. I'm not even sure how long ago it began; I thought he was you. He was convincing. It was a ploy to get close to me, to the weapon I had that could be used to kill Valdis. He's been drugging me. I thought I was getting ill, but it was only that. [Not only that, but it's easier for her to frame it that way than to consider that the trauma was affecting her and she was overworking herself too...]

And then he- [She frowns, forces herself to keep a neutral voice, a neutral expression even as one hand goes up to touch her head.] I would have stopped him, so he hit me with a bowling ball. [She says it as if it isn't terrible. As if it hadn't almost killed her - because she doesn't want Crichton to carry that guilt.]

you're fine, rl > rp

[ss_buttcrack]

In my dream, you mean? We have to do something. He can't just get away with hurting people. Hurting you.

[Crichton would have thought Ari would want some punishment for him. Doesn't she? The more she explains, the more sick with rage he becomes, though it shows on his face as cold, stoic gloom.]

Frell. I'm... I'm sorry. He fooled us both. I can... remember studying with you. I can remember all-nighters. It's like he edited my memories. I... I thought I was helping you. God, he was... drugging you, and I was right there.

[There, but unable to really know or understand what had been edited. Harvey was careful. So maliciously careful. He stitched those memories together like a brain surgeon.]

How bad does it hurt? Did you lose consciousness? Someone checked for internal bleeding, right?

[astrogator]

It's not your fault. None of it. [That comes first. And then, just as firm-] If I had a way to kill Harvey cleanly without doing you any harm, I'd take it. He deserves it. But not torture. We have to be better than that.

[Being hurt shouldn't turn you into a monster. It's why she holds to Tradeline code, to her values and principles, no matter what she suffers here.]

I'm... you know, I'm not the best judge. It hurts, but I know Doctor Watson did his best, and this isn't a Tradeline infirmary where they could patch me up quick. I don't know how long I was down the first time, but I was in and out of consciousness for a few days. I figure if there was internal bleeding it would have killed me by now. The concussion is... annoying [if there were ever an understatement...] but I think I'm alright - cognitively. So that's a good sign. [She forces a smile.] Cardalek genetics. I guess I'm hard to kill.

[ss_buttcrack]

I know. I know. [He blows out a heavy breath.] It still makes me feel sick. He did that with my body.

[He hates how true her assessment probably is, that if she was going to die from it she would have by now. He has to trust Watson knows what he's doing. And she is lucid enough right now... she'll pull through. She'll be fine.]

It must be because you're so hard-headed. Noggin' like a rock. Gonna call you "Balboa" from now.

[astrogator]

He did. He violated your rights as well as mine.

[It's Ari's inability to judge levels of medical advancement that mean she doesn't realise Watson's literal miracle. That without it she'd never have regained consciousness at all. A Tradeline doctor could have saved her, so it makes sense that Watson did.]

Balboa? [There's that usual bewildered reaction to Earther cultural references.] That word's not translating comprehensibly. [She can't help her uncertain look, because she doesn't want to be called anything awful.] Can you clarify?

[ss_buttcrack]

It wouldn't translate. It's a name. Rocky Balboa. He's a movie character. Classic underdog tail. He wants to be a big time boxer, so he trains night and day, works himself as hard as he can, and he climbs the ranks on his own blood, sweat, and tears. He never gives up, and no matter how hard he's hit, he never stops pushing. He proves to everyone he can go the distance.

[He's smiling at her, knowingly. She can't argue there isn't a resemblance, now, can she?]

[astrogator]

[Tayrey feels strangely emotional as she hears this. Never mind what she thinks about most of the Earther flatvids she's seen. Crichton perceives her, and her values, in a way that she didn't expect any outsider would.]

Then-

[She falters, because what can she say to that? The young lieutenant smiles back at him.]

Then I'm honored.

think this one can wrap up?

[ss_buttcrack]

[He's getting a little misty-eyed just seeing her reaction to it. He knows exactly how lonely it can be when it feels like no one understands you. She doesn't deserve to be lonely.]

The honor is mine. It's so good to see you smile.