come_sailaway | JUNE EVENT: CAMP

JUNE EVENT: CAMP

early on June 10th, Friday's morning announcements end with a request for everyone going on the latest excursion to meet her in the atrium. she seems in noticeably better spirits than she had been last time, and she leads them cheerfully to the tender. once they are all aboard, and the door is securely shut, the interior fills with gas, and, perhaps, their last thought before they slip into unconsciousness is "oh shit, not again."

passengers wake up on a rickety old school bus, driving down a dirt road surrounded by woods. what is it that they notice first? that, no matter what they were wearing before, they are now wearing a camp t-shirt and legitimately horrifyingly short shorts? the overstuffed backpack between their knees? the words "take one down and pass it around" dying on their lips? the fact that Friday is absolutely driving the bus?

or, maybe the fact that it's already slowing down, pulling up in front of a massive wooden sign, saying:

CAMP AION

when they get out of the bus, Friday is the one to divide them up into their cabin groups, and she is the one to give the counselors their very official-looking clipboards and whistles. she explains that they are in charge, and that she will be back to pick them up in a week, and... very little else. she responds to nothing outside of whatever is on her unseen little script, and she gets back on the bus shortly after, leaving them there.

welcome to camp. let's make some summer memories!

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[ Reminds him of a number of books and movies and videogames. Bomb collars sure are popular, huh? He glances down at Darcy's shorts, the only commo variable amongst the campers, as if it'd also start beeping. ]

It was for real a bomb collar?

[ It'd be so easy to mastermind something like that with an empty threat; he knows full well he would have picked up a knife himself rather than risk his important people getting hurt, even if it turned out to be a lie in the end. ]

"It was like, fine," huh? There's nothing forcing anybody to kill anybody this time, though, right? I'm kinda hoping we don't do the whole murder thing.

As far as I know, and I think as far as anyone knows, they were real.

[ Another shrug as she makes some feeble attempt to tug her shorts down. ]

There's nothing that I've seen. But if I do have to stay in these the whole time, I'll kill someone. Probably myself. If God wanted me to wear shorts he wouldn't have invented sweatpants.

Maybe you got something in that bag of yours?

[ He gestures with his chin at the bulging backpack apparently people were left with, like a gift bag at a birthday party. ]

And! Worse comes to worst, we're in the wilderness! You can use, like, leaves and stuff!

[ just like in the movies! ]

[ She is absolutely not wearing whatever the powder blue monstrosity is at the bottom of her bag, even if they are long pants. ]

That seems like a really quick way to get a rash. Aren't there like, plants that make you itch and shit? Poison oak? I don't know what poison oak looks like. I could end up with poison oak plant pants.

[ Can he identify poison oak? ...not reliably, he thinks, and it isn't the first time he wishes he hadn't come here alone. ]

Well, okay, we can play it safe. What is it other people use in the wilderness...? Coat themselves with mud?

You can coat yourself in mud. I'm just going to keep bitching about it.

[ Mud was considerably worse than dealing with the shorts. Mud was like an advanced form of dirt, with a worse texture, and it stuck around worse. This is why she did indoor sports. And sprinting, on dirt-free running tracks. ]

Bitching fixes everything.

I'm good.

[ Hands in his jacket pockets, he fans them out in gesture to his non-short-shorts long pants. ]

Think you can bitch your way outta everybody not dying horrible deaths this week? If it works, I got your back.

If I bitch enough, I'll probably end up horribly murdered. Which is basically a win.

[ The long pants get a glare, however. Yeah she's absolutely going to try and steal them when he's asleep. ]

Hey now, don't talk like that! Waking up from the dead isn't always gonna be a thing, you know?

[ It's not something he wants to rely on, and avoiding death altogether is the best way not to test that theory. ]

How 'bout this? If you make it to the end of the week without getting murdered, I'll give you my pants.

[ the gesture will be useless by the end of the week and they're all going back anyways, but it's the thought that counts, or something ]

Sure, I'll come find you after a week of having to be humiliated wearing these terrible fucking clothes, avoiding the only guaranteed way to stop this experience, to get a pair of pants that will probably come up to my knees, since you're shorter than me.

[ It's such a ridiculous idea that she genuinely, cannot help but laugh. ]

What's your name? I want to know who I'm asking after when I make it to Sunday.

Yeah, that's the spirit!

[ also shut uuuuuuupp he's going to pretend he didn't hear that dig about his height, he's still growing, there's still hope ]

You can call me Kano. What about you, miss counselor?

Anything but miss counselor. Well- not anything, I have a name. It's Darcy.

[ Darcy's probably also still growing, but she's already a respectable 5'7". It's not her fault he's a shrimp. ]

I'm not making any promises though, alright? If I hear the call of the void, I'm following that shit.

[ It's fine if Kano's pants only reach her knees then because she doesn't need any of that height below her knees, how is that fair ]

You do that and I'm calling you "miss counselor" from now on.

[ "for the rest of your life" he'd wanted to say, but it loses its effect when she won't be alive ]

I know you said you wanted to get outta here as soon as possible, but why come in the first place? It can't be worse on the ship, can it? There's a pool and, like, drinks with little umbrellas in it.

You do that, and I'm kicking your ass, ehn? [ Darcy threatens, angling a finger at him with both eyebrows raised. Which of course explains why she needs the height below her knees; for ass-kicking. ]

Because I didn't think it would be actual camping- I thought it would be like last time, where there was some actual fucking danger and I could help protect people. But unless some fucker is going to come out of the woods and start killing people, I'm just going to be standing around being useless. So if I'm not going to be able to help anyone, I may as well be standing around somewhere I have decent fucking pants, and where there's no dirt.

[ Okay, that was a bit more heat than she was intending in the midst of a conversation about drinks with tiny umbrellas. ]

Ehh...

[ He knows better than to test that out, at least. Ass kicking will be saved for another day... ]

But you're camp counselor, aren'tcha? That's like, a super important job— the opposite of useless! People are gonna be depending on you to stick around and keep them safe y'know?

[ At having the obvious pointed out, Darcy makes a low, annoyed 'rôhhhhhhh' at the back of her throat. The universal noise of teenage annoyance. ]

I guess. No point in checking out early.

[ Hehehe. Kano grins as if he won ...something. ]

Alright! I'll see you at the end of the week, then! Do your best, miss counselor~

Hey- [ She fumbles with and then blows the whistle at him, ] call me by my actual name, fucker. Don't make me blow this a second time.

[ Look at her, already getting into the spirit of the thing. The power was going to go to her head instantly. ]

[ Yikes! He claps his hands over his ears, but too little too late ]

Alright, alright, miss— ah, just Darcy, wasn't it? Whew, almost blew out my eardrums there, y'know?!

Sure did, and you're lucky I didn't do more. C'mon, [ She indicates towards the direction of the rest of the camp, ] I don't think we can stay here all week.

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JUNE EVENT: CAMP

CAMP AION

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