come_sailaway | JUNE EVENT: CAMP

JUNE EVENT: CAMP

early on June 10th, Friday's morning announcements end with a request for everyone going on the latest excursion to meet her in the atrium. she seems in noticeably better spirits than she had been last time, and she leads them cheerfully to the tender. once they are all aboard, and the door is securely shut, the interior fills with gas, and, perhaps, their last thought before they slip into unconsciousness is "oh shit, not again."

passengers wake up on a rickety old school bus, driving down a dirt road surrounded by woods. what is it that they notice first? that, no matter what they were wearing before, they are now wearing a camp t-shirt and legitimately horrifyingly short shorts? the overstuffed backpack between their knees? the words "take one down and pass it around" dying on their lips? the fact that Friday is absolutely driving the bus?

or, maybe the fact that it's already slowing down, pulling up in front of a massive wooden sign, saying:

CAMP AION

when they get out of the bus, Friday is the one to divide them up into their cabin groups, and she is the one to give the counselors their very official-looking clipboards and whistles. she explains that they are in charge, and that she will be back to pick them up in a week, and... very little else. she responds to nothing outside of whatever is on her unseen little script, and she gets back on the bus shortly after, leaving them there.

welcome to camp. let's make some summer memories!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Just don't actually tell the Captain that. He seems like the sort of asshole to gloat about it."

Sore winners; the worst kind of asshole. Not that Darcy would know anything about that. Darcy levies a kick at one of the rocks, just to see what it does. Rocks are presumably easy to model, and it just sort of... rolls, like a rock.

"Hiking fucking sucks. Why do people like, sign up to do this shit back home?"

"God, no. I'm never complimenting that man aloud if I can help it." Although technically he just did. Whatever, it's not like the captain's here to eavesdrop. And since he can't read minds, Skulduggery is free to admire the occasional tree for looking almost-but-not-quite like an elm.

"They want to commune with nature, maybe?" He tosses his branch aside. "I wouldn't know, I don't hike." He's travelled hundreds of miles on horseback and foot, but not one foot before now had ever been to hike.

"I still don't hike," he clarifies. "If anything, we're exploring. I refuse to play into any more of this charade than necessary."

She was going to address any other part of what he said before he started arguing semantics, at which point she gave him a pointed look.

"We're out in the woods, going in a straight line. This is hiking. This is literally exactly what hiking is. Exploring would be if we were, like, spreading out and stopping or something."

It says a lot about the situation that, instead of launching into a lecture about the importance of words, and how they are exploring, because none of this area has been seen by either of them yet, and even if they could call any of this hiking...

Instead of that, he says, "It's bad enough I'm stuck in these asinine clothes. At least let me have the illusion of noncompliance."

Wow, not even some light bickering, things must be bad. She makes a small 'hmm' in agreement, letting him have his illusion.

"The clothes fucking suck. I can just feel people staring at me, like I don't already know what I look like. It's super objectifying. Definitely not the kind of clothes you want to explore in."

Her t-shirt for today features St Francis tending to some bunnies and deer, the print on it faded and worn, as if the shirt was older than she was.

This is by far the worst thing that's happened to him since he got sucked into a portal full of evil gods.

"The fact that nobody was spared the indignity is the only reason I haven't walked directly into the lake." That and he would rather not spend a week at the bottom of yet another body of water. "Do you at least recognize your shirt? I've never so much as glanced in the direction of athleticwear in my life, personally."

"There's still time. I could come visit you. From the shore, anyway, the pope could ask me to go in that lake and I still wouldn't."

She snorts at the question, "absolutely not. It's tacky as fuck. This may be surprising, but I actually care about my clothes too, ehn? I wear streetwear, not... this shit."

A wiggly hand motion, "when I'm not stuck on an evil boat with one change of clothes, anyway. I'd kill for an actually decent store aboard. The suit I got was the only good part of that party."

"You should be careful what you wish for. Maximilien requested access to new clothing and we wound up with the Tommy Bahama." Although, it could be that Max wasn't specific enough to get exactly what he wanted. Or maybe everything has to be on theme. That does limit things somewhat dramatically...

"It does make me wonder where he gets it all. Maybe there's an... interdimensional lost and found somewhere on the ship that he takes things from. Like our new clothes, or the weapons in Battle Royale. Or he makes it all from scratch." Which would be far more humiliating.

"Oh sure, I'll be specific, if the Captain ever ends up listening to me of all people."

Darcy scoffs at the idea.

"It wouldn't surprise me if he made it all himself. Like- the food, for instance. It's too perfect. You can't get meat or vegetables like the ones that end up in the food. If he even uses actual ingredients, instead of just... Making the finished dishes. Or the forest. He could probably just... steal a forest from somewhere, if he can steal us and our shit. But he doesn't. I think the Captain's a control freak. Or at least the kind of asshole who thinks he can do everything himself."

Skulduggery laughs in a mildly ungentlemanly manner at that comment. "Oh, I don't doubt that. Obsessive and arrogant are certainly defining features of his." But he's also lazy, which is why Skulduggery still bets at least some of the clothing is second-hand. The forest, at least, makes perfect sense to him -- if he was practicing to become a god, he would want to start with trees and plants, too.

"I don't eat, so I'm never around the buffet or dining hall... Have you ever seen the food being prepared?"

"Nope. Just floats out. Or is sort of in the trays, if it's the buffet. I've never seen the food actually change in there. I couldn't find any way into any kitchen when I went looking. It's just... another part of the ship that he's too lazy to put detail into, and too controlling to leave to chance. You know the ship doesn't have plumbing, either? I tried to see if my water-teleport would let me go through pipes, and nearly got stuck in the tap."

She kicks another rock. Fuck that rock in particular.

"There's a kitchen here though, for some reason. I'm planning on testing it out, seeing if you can actually make food in it. I miss cooking."

Okay, what? "That doesn't even make sense. Where does the water come from, in that case? Are there sigils on the inside of the tap to draw water from elsewhere on the ship, maybe?"

Nope, getting sidetracked. Skulduggery reaches for another branch, gets tired of the charade, and ignores the next few trees entirely out of spite. "I didn't know you cooked," he comments idly. "Not surprising, since I don't eat, but still."

"Right? It's such fucking bullshit. No sigils, no like, reservoir, it's just water that appears out of nowhere."

Lazy bastard not properly filling out his cruise ship.

"Assume I usually do a lot of shit that I can't because I don't have the equipment here. I was the one who cooked in my family. Who cooks in my family."

Present tense. The Captain's still not going to get her to act like her life back home is a 'was' and 'did'.

"Do you miss eating?"

Edited (sexy genius disease (clarified wording)) 2022-06-13 10:43 (UTC)

The tense change is noticed and appreciated; no reason to let the man get her down. "That's right, most people have wide and varied interests. I keep forgetting." Of course, he's making fun of himself as much as he is teasing her.

"It's been so long since I had to eat that I don't even know what I'm missing out on." He thinks about it for a moment, then says, "I don't even remember what the last thing I ate was. Probably something rationed."

"If you're going to forget with anyone, it's probably safest to do it with me. I forget I have other interests. It's like my head is a conveyor belt of swords and punching things until something else falls on it."

Gently teasing herself in turn. It's not like her life hadn't mostly consisted of that prior to being abducted.

"That sounds like hell," she wrinkles her face up, "mum always said French rations were the best in the world, but that they still weren't like... good. And yours were probably way before smokeless fuel and shit got invented. Or- your fire doesn't give off smoke, I guess you could've just heated them like that."

Now she's the one getting bogged down in specifics. She goes silent for a moment afterwards, until the pressing emptiness of a birdless forest compels her to speak again.

"Sometimes I wish I was like... properly dead or alive one way or another. Like, either I don't have to do any of that shit, or I get to be warm and have a regular heartbeat again. I'd probably miss eating, but I wouldn't miss having to eat. It's all just exhausting some days."

Like most semantics, it really doesn't matter if they used their own fire or lit campfires; the food was the same. He doesn't remember the meal, but he knows what they were all eating. Meat, potatoes, milk and bread. Not exactly interesting or flavorful.

"At least it's something to fill the time with," Skulduggery says. It's a lukewarm attempt to find a silver-lining; he understands her sentiment, even if their manner of semi-death is different. "Not much of an upside, but... at least you aren't limited for date night?"

He's probably right, and Darcy gives a shrug, because 'you were right' is not a phrase she wants to say to Skulduggery too often.

"We could probably do other things. It's not like we have unlimited options anyway. It... kind of sucks that I met her here, instead of back home. I keep thinking of things I'd want to show her."

The view of the city from the basilica, the ferris wheel at the Place Bellecour, the Croix Rousse Market where she got vegetables and the old ladies would 'accidentally' include things she hadn't paid for. The rivers, winding their way through the city. Was it romantic to be able to point out where you died? Maybe in the older sense of the word.

He knows what that shrug means. He'll accept it without comment, of course, because he's a saint, but he knows he's right.

It's truly a mixed bag. The two of them never would have met if not for the ship -- but they're also stuck here, unable to share the experiences they hold important with each other. The alternative would be to visit one another's realities... but that's unlikely to be allowed. Hell, they're not even sure if they can return to their own places in time and space, much less open doorways between other realities for date night.

"It... isn't ideal," he agrees after a stretch of silence. "Then again, life rarely is. But, you're both enterprising young ladies. I'm sure you'll become trailblazers for all the other romantic couples aboard."

Truly, there has never been anyone more gracious or humble than Skulduggery Pleasant.

Darcy, for her part, hasn't thought about the details too much. She especially hasn't considered the idea of them being forced to separate if and when they go home; she's still firmly in the bubbly, sappy first stages where everything is fine and perfect. As bubbly as Darcy ever gets, anyway.

"God, I hope not. I don't want the whole ship to know about us, and I don't want people who know to jack our shit like that. If we work out something that's actually fun, I'm keeping it to my fucking self."

There were few things aboard the ship that were truly just hers, there's no way she was risking a hypothetical thing between Undine and herself to public scrutiny and invasion.

Skulduggery looks left and right as they walk, very carefully, as if checking for somebody who might be eavesdropping. You know, maybe from a tree, or something. He knows the person he wants to gossip about right now has a tendency to poke out of solid objects every so often...

"There's only one other person I know of aboard who's looking to pursue something romantic," he says, very casually. "And given that someone Undine knows, I'd say chances are you might have to share one or two special spots."

Oh, he is definitely fishing to see if Darcy's overheard anything about Ava's secret crush. It's either this, or dealing with the unnervingly quiet forest. It feels like they keep passing the same set of trees. And none of them look right...

Judging by her reaction, this is a bit of gossip that Darcy has not come across yet.

"No, who?" she asks, "is it someone I know too?"

Talking senseless gossip is the best way to avoid dealing with the terrifyingly generic forest that has seemed to be going on forever. This is why people gossip to begin with, to avoid the crushing horror that is being alive.

"I think so, although last I heard, the two of you had a bit of a falling out." Obviously, he's not going to say right away! Suspense is part of the fun, after all. It wouldn't be gossip if you didn't hem and haw about revealing the names of those involved. "And they certainly have their eye on someone."

He just doesn't know who!

"You have to know how little that narrows it down. You have to know. That just took it from like, the whole ship to maybe two thirds of the ship."

Darcy snorts, presuming he has actually heard of all the near-scraps she's been getting into. Reputations spread fast.

"I don't know- Jinx? I had a fight with Stede recently? Ava? Rich? Max?"

"Damn. I'd hoped maybe Undine had mentioned Ava's crush to you and I'd be able to needle you for details." Because Ava had been just cagey enough to pique his interest, and this had seemed like a convenient enough connection!

"And how have you stepped in it with so many people?" He... does actually sound surprised. Like, mildly. He didn't think it was that bad! "I mean. Stede?"

"Not all of them were my fault!" she argues, "you know I have a hot head, ehn? Stede was just because I tried to teach him to meditate and he freaked out. Rich- okay that one was my fault, but Max was because he doesn't have a sense of humor. He was all 'oh do you own this hallway' and I was like 'yes actually' and he got huffy when I acted like I actually did as a joke."

Clearly not her fault.

"Ugh. But no, Undine hasn't told me anything. She isn't really the type to gossip."

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