JUNE EVENT: CAMP

[sailmods]

early on June 10th, Friday's morning announcements end with a request for everyone going on the latest excursion to meet her in the atrium. she seems in noticeably better spirits than she had been last time, and she leads them cheerfully to the tender. once they are all aboard, and the door is securely shut, the interior fills with gas, and, perhaps, their last thought before they slip into unconsciousness is "oh shit, not again."

passengers wake up on a rickety old school bus, driving down a dirt road surrounded by woods. what is it that they notice first? that, no matter what they were wearing before, they are now wearing a camp t-shirt and legitimately horrifyingly short shorts? the overstuffed backpack between their knees? the words "take one down and pass it around" dying on their lips? the fact that Friday is absolutely driving the bus?

or, maybe the fact that it's already slowing down, pulling up in front of a massive wooden sign, saying:

 

 

 

 

 

CAMP AION

when they get out of the bus, Friday is the one to divide them up into their cabin groups, and she is the one to give the counselors their very official-looking clipboards and whistles. she explains that they are in charge, and that she will be back to pick them up in a week, and... very little else. she responds to nothing outside of whatever is on her unseen little script, and she gets back on the bus shortly after, leaving them there.

welcome to camp. let's make some summer memories!

Comments

[mooninthewater]

[ Well, Mizuki had been able to rationalize his thoughts fairly well, all things considered. There's still the thoughts of a lover scorned throwing a temper tantrum around in his brain, making him have those sinking feelings of loneliness and disconnect from people and, well, Venti. But there are much kinder thoughts now, too. Those that have had the time to understand his feelings, and had the time to know how to deal with things. Which is quite the development! Certainly better than "just ignore it". There was a while there that Mizuki had actually considered being in denial about it at all, so the fact he's trying to move past it at all??

Someone give the jellyfish a cookie. Except don't, he shouldn't eat sweets.

Mizuki closes his eyes briefly, as if trying to commit the name to memory… not that he hadn't already done so. He only opens them again once he's ready to speak. ]

I hope to never need you, though, my darling. Always want, of course. Forever. But need would mean I've given you a reason to worry about me…

[ … ]

I assume... you want me to still call you Venti when we're together? [ He's not sure how much weight a name like that holds. But he knows that Ebalon wants Mizuki to use his real name when they're alone. Who knows if Venti is the same? He's not about to go comparing an ex-god's mentality to a demon's, though. Still, if Venti is trying to find his identity, maybe that calls for a new name, too? He's not entirely sure. ]

[wimdy]

[ meanwhile venti is king of Avoiding Troublesome Feelings when his modus operandi is to ghost. someone annoyed by him? annoy them more! someone need help or look sad? chat and offer a song! someone get close to him or even confess their love? time to get out of town and move the hell on--

just maybe. his smile to mizuki is wan but there's a distant look to him again as his memory reels back to that island. ] Mizuki, you already gave me a reason to worry about you. [ ... ] Actually, I probably have many. If you're in danger, please call for me.

But, otherwise... mhm, I'm just Venti. [ 'just', when if he really thinks about it and remembers, even that name was lifted from his friend. he used to be wind, he didn't have much creativity to think of his own name, and meanwhile barbatos was the god's name bestowed from celestia. he glances down at their joined hands, quieter now because the thought occurs to him, maybe even his friend's name should be put to rest. but maybe he can't quite let go yet.

... ] Back in Mondstadt, in Teyvat, I could hear the prayers from believers to Barbatos. [ all gods could have that faint connection to their followers. when believers pray, deities listen. ] Like a choral song, like faint music. Constantly, always, the refrain of wishes, confessionals, offerings for blessings.

Then all of those prayers disappeared when I came here to this realm. I don't think I ever really wanted to be a god. I just happened to be in the right place at the right time. I simply wanted to let people lead their own lives and country. Even so, I don't think I realized it, but... [ that hum and quiet song of prayer throughout thousands of years, the voices of his people invoking him--he'd grown used to it. it was that connection to his country, the voices of his nation, that even after centuries of never appearing to them they hadn't forgotten him, they would continue to live and strive and have faith in him. even for an absent and independent god, that worship sustained him as he traveled, like he was never alone. ]

[mooninthewater]

[ Listening to this just worries Mizuki, if only because he knows he's quite the people pleaser. He wants people to be happy. Wants them to be comfortable. Wants them to feel loved and like they've got someone reliably there. He's promised this to Clarke, to Ebalon, to Natsuno, and even to Venti. That promise of having someone there who won't judge them or make them feel lonely. Maybe because Mizuki understands the feeling all too well himself. Being in a room full of people, with a head full of thoughts, always makes him feel disconnected. "Not whole" he had once told Venti. Even now, when he knows what the problem is, he still feels that way. He doesn't want anyone else to feel like that. He wants to do anything he can to achieve that.

And yet, hearing this from Venti scares him a bit, because the prospect of worshipping someone means he's shoving Venti right back up on that pedestal. Light he can't touch. Something to be sullied by a monster like Mizuki. He can't go back to thinking like that again, not when he worked so hard to stop that. He doesn't notice as a few more tentacles grab Venti's arm and waist. Something desperate, like he he says any of these things, Venti will tell him "sorry, no dice, we have to break up now". Logistically, he knows that won't happen, but anxiety is a fucking bitch and shoves logic in a locker and takes all its lunch money, so… ]

I… How can I… help with that? [ He's only one person, but- ] If you want song, I could just keep singing to you…? [ He was built for such, after all. Even if he wasn't raised in Aegir, even if he only knows a little of the Aegirian language, he is still an Aegir. They're meant to always sing their words. ] It wouldn't be that constant, or faint, but if it helps…?

[wimdy]

[ ah, tentacles.

by now he's gotten a little more used to it, though he does have to fight down the urge to shiver a little or flinch. the slime is still a bit unpleasant, but this is mizuki and he accepts mizuki more. he leans in still closer to mizuki's side, a quiet half-sigh, half-laugh. ] Ehe...

I didn't mean to say that to ask for help. But, I really appreciate the thought. [ a light squeeze to mizuki's hand, his smile a little more genuine. ] I love all of your songs. They really do help more than you could imagine, more than I could possibly say.

I just...

I think I just wanted to... try to let you know what it's like, a little. [ if it were even possible for a mortal to imagine what godhood was like. but he was unique in trying to nearly abandon it. ] The responsibility. The prayers and faith and worship and voices. That people placed their hopes in me even when I was never there. You said once that you had wandered the world and tried to... 'better' people. For me, for every single person in my country or the world... I wished the best for them, I wished for happiness and fulfillment in their lives. I might cast minor miracles and blessings even when I never appeared in person. When I was a new god in moments of naivete I wanted to take away all pain and struggle even though I knew it was impossible. Later, I would believe in people more than whether or not they believed in me.

If you could try to understand, even a little... that would help.

[mooninthewater]

[ Mizuki glances over Venti as he leans closer, down to his tentacles, and apologetically starts to peel them off. The cons of having no nerves in his stingers is his unconscious need for them to hold onto things sometimes. It's something he really has to work on. He's nervously tucking them all back into their hidey shadow behind Mizuki. ]

I do understand. Maybe not... fully, but... that does make sense, at least. [ Which he can't always say is the case, especially when Mizuki has such a hard time understanding people in general. But a former god? Whoof. Thankfully, this much he can understand. The need to be needed, even if you're not very good at what you do. That feeling of connection. ] I... I know that... I shouldn't be like this. Like I am now. But I feel like, maybe, if I were made to go back to being fully an Aegir and nothing more now, after years of being like this... the... silence [ He gestures up to his head. ] would drive me mad. [ Well, obviously his 100% own, pure thoughts would be there, but considering he's only ever had those at a very young age, he has no idea how he'd adjust to just those. He doesn't even know what his own, original thoughts are. Everything sounds like "his" thoughts.

And change is so fucking scary. ]

I don't know if I fully grasp it, but I understand it.

[ The silence part, anyway. Less so the worship, but in his own Need To Be Needed way? They're unsettling more similar than Mizuki thought, and that doesn't exactly bode well. He wishes he could fix that. Wishes he could just be a hundred voices like the ones in his head to make Venti feel comfortable and safe. Does he really need to be back in Mondstadt to feel that way again? In the very wise words of Fall Out Boy, I know this whole damn city thinks it needs you, but not as much as I do. ]

You always put yourself down when you talk about how you go about people's faith, though. Saying things to put yourself down, but... I... I've told you of the gods of my world. None of the ones that have made names of themselves, that live in their own sort of reverence of their people are... "good". Not by my standards. [ The angels of Laterano might disagree with Mizuki, but fuck that shit? The Law is a shady ass god and he doesn't trust like that. ]

... The older folk in my village, who were from Aegir, would have this expression they'd say. [ Briefly, he switches his tone over to his echo-y, melodic one so that he can speak in full Aegirian. He struggles a bit to get it out fully, but it's just a few words, he can will himself through this translation magic or whatever. ] "Bra vind... i ryggen er best."

…

Roughly, it means, "May the wind always be at your back." It's supposed to wish people luck, or to have safe travels. It's something I was told often in my own travels because of this. And, recently, I learned it comes from a old Aegirian shanty.

"May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields and,
Until we meet again,
May the gods hold you in the palm of their hands."

[ He places his head against Venti's, a little sigh. ] There's no real religion among most Aegir cities, but they all do believe in a deity out there is looking over them. Not with them, not intervening, not doing anything more than just a bit of good luck. They believe that's all they need.

And I believe in you, too. Your ideals and your wants all make sense to me.

[wimdy]

[ that's right, mizuki also has the voice of that other god in his head... there could be gods who spoke directly to their prophets but he doesn't suppose this is an example of that at all. that consciousness of the sea god felt far more inscrutable than hymns and commandments. which is a mercy, if it were more insistent perhaps mizuki really could be more seaborn than he is now.

but mizuki's lived with that other god's consciousness for this long, it seems some kind of purification might backfire after all. whether or not it'd still be worth trying... maybe it didn't matter especially if mizuki himself feared the idea of it, like this. and in the meantime the song of prayer, like background noise for barbatos--

we pray for good weather for harvest--send a tailwind for our voyage--i've sinned in the eyes of the lord, please forgive me for what i've done--

it'd disappeared and he hadn't realized he'd missed it until the faintest hint of it hit him again like the first taste of water in a desert. even mizuki saying so right now, 'i believe in you', like lighting a small match in deep darkness. belief and faith could even guide gods as gods guide their people. a brief kick of wind, the flush that goes to his face--he looks down to his lap. ] ... Thank you. [ even that much... it's not exactly faith, but it's close.

the aegirean shanty is poetry almost reminiscent of hymn that almost tugs at his chest, he misses the nuns and sisters in his church. their daily prayer, their choirs, the musicality of it and familiarity of it. almost the sound of home, with the voices of all who have ever placed hope in him. he plays his own words back a little because, ] I don't mean to put myself down. Did I really sound like it? [ with a hand to his cheek in thought, and to try to cool his blush. it's almost embarrassing how this kind of affects him. ]

That I was rarely ever there is fact, I didn't mean to talk myself down. It was what I wanted and hoped for my country, that they could make their own way without me. Other gods could rule more directly. Morax would descend once a year 'officially', but even his people wrote stories that he walked among them incognito. My friend Raiden would issue decrees as an omnipresent goddess, almost completely the opposite from me. Gods could be so different, their relationship with their country. I believed I did what was best for mine. I don't think I would change anything, if I could do it all again. So, that shanty... I understand it well, that I would always be at their backs.

[ but there's still some amount of uncertainty, that uncertainty in himself. the balancing act between wanting to help directly, and invisible support from a deity who effectively disappeared until calamity might happen. ]

I know that the god you're familiar with is... [ it had shaped mizuki this much, he must have any amount of conflicting feelings towards it. the hatred towards an enemy race, and what he'd said just now that maybe he couldn't give it up. ] But so you know, we vary so much in what we do, what we stand for. I might have done little but to give comfort and stories of a higher power even if I didn't appear. I never asked for people to have faith in me, but they did. I would bless or save as quietly and subtly, every so often. I would believe in others to save themselves better than I could.

But I treasured every single one of them, my followers. [ in a quiet murmur, almost under his breath. remembering barbara, jean, even agnostic rosaria--'let the wind guide you', the mantras in mondstadt. kaeya and diluc and razor are terribly important to him as his countrymen, obviously it didn't matter if they were particularly religious or not. but he had been a god, faith sustained him, fundamentally. ]

I hope they're doing well even if I'm not there, even if I've lost my godhood.