you say the hill's too steep to climb [closed]

[prince_of_beasts]

WHO: Dimitri & CR
WHAT: flower hour aftermath
WHERE: around the ship, the cottage
WHEN: early September
WARNINGS: discussion of codependency, self-destructive behavior, & psychosis; violent nightmares

you pick the place and i'll choose the time (dedue)

Dimitri needs a few days of his own to recuperate; to let the worry bleed away, to let his mind settle back into shape and place.

But then -- well -- he misses Dedue. Not out of any fear; Dimitri just ... misses him. Misses the textured silences, the way his forehead pinches at the buffet food, the sound of his voice when Dimitri can provoke a laugh. Misses all their little rituals and rhythms.

He catches Dedue on the Promenade, calls out to him, and then has to do an uncomfortable half-jog up to speaking distance (how close should he stand? Oh, this is awful).

"I wondered -- would you like to eat together? And perhaps watch one of the documentaries?"

They've both seen the whole sequence half-a-dozen times by now, but if Dedue minds that's news to Dimitri.

and i'll climb that hill in my own way (ossie)

In a text sent to Ossie:
I'm sorry
About everything
Can I talk to you
?
In sand dollars or where ever you prefer

Dimitri just wants to offer neutral ground.

and as i rise above the treeline and the clouds (giles)

For his first few nights in the cottage, Dimitri sleeps dark and deep. He's exhausted beyond dreaming, grateful just to crumple into a real bed, to breathe air not thick with salt. It's a shallow respite, though, and it can't last.

Dimitri's nightmares are quiet, and still. It's for the best. Thrashing in his sleep would quickly prove destructive, if not lethal. So there's no outward disturbance when they start again - only, in the small hours of the morning, a pulse of abject terror from the guest room.

Comments

[glassaxolotl]

“It cannot be much stranger than our time on the Serena,” Dedue chuckles.

[prince_of_beasts]

Can't it? Dimitri thinks. His breathing catches. He spends a long few moments fighting for control of his throat before calling it a lost cause.

"Tell me to say it," he says. "I -- I can do it, if you tell me to."

[glassaxolotl]

“Say it,” Dedue says, looking at him fondly.

[prince_of_beasts]

The line of Dimitri's shoulders relaxes again. He releases a soft sigh.

"After the lap-cat conversation, some time ago ... you told me that you were e-excited by the thought of me sitting in your lap." Dimitri's voice stays quiet, even, calmed by the safety of a command, but even so his face heats to a burning crimson. "I was more excited by the idea of ... being ... your ... pet."

[glassaxolotl]

“... Ah,” Dedue mumbles, cheeks flushing.

“I- We could- Try that.”

[prince_of_beasts]

"It's -- it's strange, I know, I -- I couldn't explain it to you, we don't have to speak any -- "

Dimitri grinds to a halt as he realizes what Dedue has actually said.

"What?"

[glassaxolotl]

“The idea of that...” Dedue thinks about it for a moment.

Petting Dimitri’s head. Dimitri in his lap. Or on hands and knees.

“...it is not unpleasant,” he coughs, flustered.

[prince_of_beasts]

"O-oh."

Dimitri's still flushed from sex, but the pink in his face deepens and creeps into his ears. The thought's been firmly buried in a guilty corner of his mind; he's not sure what to do with a chance at making it real.

"I could lie in your lap," he says softly, "or by your side, or at -- at your feet. I could wear a collar, to prove that I'm yours, and I'd belong to no one but you. My only care would be pleasing you, and -- and I'd be happy, as long as you would praise me, or pet me, every once in a while. I could believe it. If you said I was good. If I was your pet."

By the time he finishes, he's flushed all the way into his chest, shivering with his pupils blown wide and glassy.