Valdis (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
redlightgreenlight) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
come_sailaway2023-11-05 01:51 pm
redlightgreenlight) wrote in come_sailaway2023-11-05 01:51 pm
Whatever it Takes
Who: Valdis and Open with Some Closed
What: Valdis does stuff around the Serena Eterna, feel free to join her
When: November
Where: All over
Warnings: In each starter
I’m a Product of the System | Open | CW: None
She’s mostly been forgiven for Tiamat’s actions, but it’s still all out there for people to look at on the photo wall. Valdis remembers some of these, but thankfully Ash’s death isn’t on there. There are other photos since the last time she was here, with other passengers, which is of course why she is here, to see what everyone else has been up to. She’s not the only murderer on the ship, they all play their parts when needed.
“When was the last time you killed someone,” she asks absently to the next approaching person.
A Catastrophe | Open | CW: None
Part of her no longer cares about dying, and with the daggers out of the way and the important people having their names to protect them, Tiamat has no more power. Or at least not enough to scare her. She has the twin blades out and practices with them, slashing with a speed that would terrify most. Valdis isn’t afraid to show off her power and skill, they are necessary to survival. With a single, swift slash one of the dummies falls into two pieces and she turns on the other, prepared to ruin that one as well.
And Yet a Masterpiece | Max and Ash | CW: Probably gonna be NSFW
Being in love with three people isn’t fair, but it is wonderful that she has found them all at the same time. Valdis had gone from no one, to so many she doesn’t want to ever leave the Eterna and lose them, but that might not be something that is up to any of them, and all good things eventually end. Still Ash’s emotions upon hearing that she knows when he and Max are together shows her a very missed opportunity. So she will text both.
Max, I still haven’t properly made it up to you after Tiamat and I think we need to talk to Ash about how all this is going to work. Dinner at 8?
Ash, we’ve been dating for a bit now, and I know you are also dating Max, and I am also dating Max. We should discuss this, don’t you think? Dinner at 8?
But I’m Half-diseased | Open | CW: Blood
Valdis sits in Sand Dollar, sketching scene after scene, person after person. Some are passengers and others people from her past. One might be familiar to those who went on the excursion, Fenrir. Occasionally she’ll close her eyes and hold her breath until something passes, other moments she is paler than usual, and some of the drawings have red splatters on them. She has several empty cups of coffee on the table and several red stained napkins. Anyone looking at her would know she is clearly unwell, but she’ll greet anyone who approaches with a smile and a polite greeting.
Wildcard | PM or just go for it
What: Valdis does stuff around the Serena Eterna, feel free to join her
When: November
Where: All over
Warnings: In each starter
I’m a Product of the System | Open | CW: None
She’s mostly been forgiven for Tiamat’s actions, but it’s still all out there for people to look at on the photo wall. Valdis remembers some of these, but thankfully Ash’s death isn’t on there. There are other photos since the last time she was here, with other passengers, which is of course why she is here, to see what everyone else has been up to. She’s not the only murderer on the ship, they all play their parts when needed.
“When was the last time you killed someone,” she asks absently to the next approaching person.
A Catastrophe | Open | CW: None
Part of her no longer cares about dying, and with the daggers out of the way and the important people having their names to protect them, Tiamat has no more power. Or at least not enough to scare her. She has the twin blades out and practices with them, slashing with a speed that would terrify most. Valdis isn’t afraid to show off her power and skill, they are necessary to survival. With a single, swift slash one of the dummies falls into two pieces and she turns on the other, prepared to ruin that one as well.
And Yet a Masterpiece | Max and Ash | CW: Probably gonna be NSFW
Being in love with three people isn’t fair, but it is wonderful that she has found them all at the same time. Valdis had gone from no one, to so many she doesn’t want to ever leave the Eterna and lose them, but that might not be something that is up to any of them, and all good things eventually end. Still Ash’s emotions upon hearing that she knows when he and Max are together shows her a very missed opportunity. So she will text both.
Max, I still haven’t properly made it up to you after Tiamat and I think we need to talk to Ash about how all this is going to work. Dinner at 8?
Ash, we’ve been dating for a bit now, and I know you are also dating Max, and I am also dating Max. We should discuss this, don’t you think? Dinner at 8?
But I’m Half-diseased | Open | CW: Blood
Valdis sits in Sand Dollar, sketching scene after scene, person after person. Some are passengers and others people from her past. One might be familiar to those who went on the excursion, Fenrir. Occasionally she’ll close her eyes and hold her breath until something passes, other moments she is paler than usual, and some of the drawings have red splatters on them. She has several empty cups of coffee on the table and several red stained napkins. Anyone looking at her would know she is clearly unwell, but she’ll greet anyone who approaches with a smile and a polite greeting.
Wildcard | PM or just go for it
no subject
She meets his gaze steadily.
"And you do help, just by being here. It's not that I'm purposefully keeping things from you, it's just that...it's difficult to talk about things that show weakness. Especially right now, when I can't tell how you feel about any of it. Sometimes that makes it easier, to be alone with my own feelings, but it also feels terribly empty."
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Ash shakes his head at her.
"I think it takes a lot of strength to be open and vulnerable. That isn't weakness. And I don't think you need empathy to know how I feel. I can't imagine how hard it is to process your own emotion as an empath."
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To answer his questions in order.
“It’s really hard to stay myself sometimes. When everyone around me is feeling things, it’s hard to keep track of my own emotions. It’s hard to feel how they feel about me and I can never tell if I deserve the hatred or not. Then there’s you and Max and Erin, and the same question exists, but as an opposite. But at the same time, this ability has kept me alive. It’s allowed me to shift and morph how I act to fit in, to make people react in certain ways, it gives me an advantage in conversations and in life. It’s wonderful to know when people are happy, But it also hurts, because people everywhere are in pain and I can’t help them. And right now, with all of that cut off…I just feel empty.”
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"But you aren't cut off from your own emotions, are you? Maybe you need that every now and again. Time to feel how you feel, not anyone else. How would you ever know if how you feel about other people is real or not? Or some kind of feedback loop. You feel that I love you and mirror that emotion. Don't you want to know if those emotions are really you?"
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She knows that feedback loops happen, it's the worst with Arthur, and Flan also impacts her ability to differentiate. But her love for Ash is real. If it wasn't, she wouldn't feel so comfortable with him now. She wouldn't be able to be vulnerable if she didn't trust him.
"They are me. I'm just used to not being alone in my own head. The quiet is strange. I always thought my empathy made me...different from who I used to be. Being able to feel others meant that I couldn't fall into old habits and become more like Tiamat."
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He always feels himself being drawn to her. She is his heart. Ash gets closer, His hands curling around her shoulders. The way he looks at her it's so obvious how he feels. A man deeply in love.
"Let's get out of here. Go somewhere. Can think of a few things we can do so you don't feel so alone in your head."
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"What kinds of things," she asks softly.
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Ash gives her a quick, soft kiss. "I have some not so innocent ideas too."
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She's not sure what the not so innocent idea would feel like without her powers, part of her is tempted to see, but worries it would just be awkward.
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"Remember that the Beast was actually a prince," she quips as he scoops her up. "Are you also a prince in disguise?"
Though the Beast had been selfish and had to learn selflessness, and Ash already is selfless.
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Taking her hand he looks down at the skateboard he had been riding down the halls. "Hop.on. I'll hold your hands, teach you how to ride on our way to grab the movie. Look, you just put your feet like this, bend your knees a little, push with your toes or heels in the direction you wanna go."
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She steps up onto the skateboard. It's funny that he thinks she's never ridden one, but then again, she'd never been good at it and it had only been once or twice while dating a rich guy. So not unlike now.
"It would be faster to walk," she laughs, trying to balance on the board and keep a hold of his hand.
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He grins as she steps on the board.
"It's not about the destination...or the speed at which we get to the destination. It's about the journey. About being together and enjoying that time."
Ash starts walking and using his hands to get her rolling.
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She still hasn't managed to get the whole story though. Valdis arches a brow.
"I'm pretty sure walking would be faster than that."
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"I have no idea, you'd have to ask Bash about it."
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He quirks a brow at that. "Bash, huh? Maybe I'll ask."
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Valdis doesn't have anything else to say about Bash though. She likes the man, but she's not keen on Ash talking to him. She'll never warn him away though, that would be hypocritical.
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He's so curious about what she's not saying and why she's not saying it. Their conversation has shifted and gone a little cold. Feels tense maybe or like it does when you don't know someone really well.
"Still feeling up to that movie, sweetheart?"
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She holds his board out to him.
"If Grace is here is it ok if she watches with us?"
He'll need to be on his best behavior, but she's trying to make room for Grace as much as she can.
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