come_sailaway | Reacting to that excursion announcement

Who: Number 6 & some closed, some open
What: He needs to talk to some people about that new sign-up sheet
When: November
Where: Various places
Warnings: General discussion of tortures that were done to him by the village

[Open]
He is at Friday's desk and he is scowling at that sign-up sheet so hard it looks like he's trying to develop laser vision so he can burn it through. That wording... "Hope to be seeing you!" He does not like that one bit. He's been here far too long to believe it could just be a coincidence. But now he has to sign up for it, doesn't he?

[Closed To Ava]
Later that evening, he is pacing their cabin, hands fidgeting at his sides so rapidly it's a shock he doesn't develop a cramp. He hasn't been this agitated in quite some time.

"I don't like that sign-up, Ava. I don't trust it."

[Closed to Ari]
A short text will come through to her the day after that sign-up sheet is posted:

Lieutenant, There is something I need to speak to you about in private. Would you be willing to meet me in my cabin? -P. Starr

[Closed to Erin]
A text will arrive for her the day after the sign up sheet is posted:

Have you seen the new excursion sheet? Has it been read to you yet? -P. Starr

[Wildcard]
Hit me!

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The other timeline, she thinks, although she doesn't correct him. She can deal with time rifts that cause alternate timelines. The idea of someone being in her memory makes her feel like there's something crawling under her skin that she needs to rip out. Besides, there are details in the parallel memories she now has of the Tradelines that couldn't have been prompted by the original.

She's about to tell him that she'll support his right not to go and if anyone on his side of things has a problem with that then she'll-

No. That's jumping to yet another conclusion, and Tayrey has just done that twice in as many minutes and doesn't mean to repeat it. She nods, solemnly.

'What do you mean to do about it? How can I help?' Of course she'll help him, if she can. She knows what that place is. Like Tirva's oppression at its worst.

"I do not know." It takes a lot for him to admit that. "I called you to seek advice. If others go, I feel compelled to follow them. And Ava will feel compelled to follow me. If I try to tell them not to go, they will demand to know why. I am not sure I am prepared to answer, but it seems the truth of what I was may inevitably become common knowledge either way. What would you do?"

She takes this very seriously. If someone seeks her opinion, she won't give it lightly, and so for a moment she only sits, looking contemplative.

Then she speaks up. 'It's not the truth of what you are, or even what you were. It's what was done to you. What was forced on you. I understand not wanting to tell others. When I go home I won't speak a word about this place; I won't want the pity and everything else that goes with it. But this ship isn't me, and that village isn't you. You have no reason to be ashamed.'

Tayrey takes another breath, looking at him earnestly. 'And don't feel compelled. You know I'd prefer nobody went, but we also know that you won't stay or go on my say-so. You make your own decisions. If you do go, let it be because you've chosen to. Take that control, and it'll lend you strength and courage. But if you decide not to? You will have my full support, and that includes in fending off awkward questions. You don't owe it to anyone here to relive the worst parts of your life.'

Maybe this is why he sought her out. This is the talk he needed so badly to hear. And he knew she would not fail to give it. She understands in a way few can. And she is right. The Village does not define him. He is more than that. He's proven it time and time again.

"Thank you, Lieutenant. You prove yourself wise beyond your years once more. I will consider it, and I know you will stand by your offer of support if I stay. If I do go, it will be to show that place that it never broke me."

Tayrey gives him a sympathetic look. 'It was a hard lesson for me. I doubt I'd have said the same if I met you shipside.'

She wouldn't have. Young Lieutenant Tayrey had been of the opinion that anyone with an ounce of courage would sooner die fighting than be taken captive, and that anyone who didn't had to suffer from some fault of character. The sort of belief you can convince your junior officers of if you train them from twelve or thirteen, not that she'd ever admit to any problem with that.

She knows, now, how much more complicated it is. To her sorrow.

'It didn't break you. I can see that. And I've taken it as my responsibility to look out for the people who stay behind.' The people who go have plenty of fuss made over them afterwards. Her priorities are different. 'Maybe - would it help to talk through what you're thinking, either way? A rational weighing-up of it?'

"Some of the most impactful lessons are learned through perilous experiences," he says with an understanding nod. "One discovers the shape of their own will under pressure. That can be valuable knowledge to have. You stand firm." It's one thing to claim to live by one's morals during easy times, it's much harder to do under the worst conditions, and yet she has.

"I'm glad you have taken that role. Someone needs to." He's being utterly sincere. He doesn't really believe that the ones who abstain have it easier, it's only hard in different ways.

"My thought... well. I feel that if the worst chapter of my past is going to be revealed for all to see, I'd rather be there to witness it. I want to know what they saw. I don't want to wait for them to tell me."

'I do. I stand by my principles.' She understands what he means. It's easy to talk from the safety of a Company Tower about what people in danger ought to do, but she doesn't take advice on Tradeline actions from anyone but Tradeliners. This isn't so far different. She knows what she's capable of now. That she can stand against opposition - and against her own doubts. It isn't lost on Tayrey that the reason she has to step up her own patrols and call on her friends to support her with them during excursions is that the other military types tend to go on them. Someone less steadfast might have joined them out of worry for her own reputation.

Not Tayrey. Because Peter Smith is right, someone has to think first of those who stay behind. Even in good times you don't send all your leaders on expedition at once and leave your ship vulnerable - and this is the very opposite of a good time.

'I think I understand,' she says then, slowly. 'You want to know what they know, just as you know how much I saw - and what I didn't.' She frowns. 'If your privacy is breached, you want to know by how far, and I can understand that, but my concern is - how much can it still hurt you? If you're treated the way you were before? Will knowing it isn't the real place make it easier?'

"Yes," he answers solemnly. "I need to know." Not just that. If others go to that place, they will be as helpless as he was the first time. He could do something. He could help, somehow.

That leads nicely to her next question. "The Village may try its hardest to break me, but I will have something this time that I did not the last, I will have allies I can trust. I will not be alone. I think that is what will make it easier."

Reacting to that excursion announcement

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