[Closed] Can you forgive me for trying again?

[firewalled]

Who: Rich, César, Johnny, and Watson
What: Rich gets a very strange regain, and doesn't realize it's meant to make him question everything his poorly constructed support network hinges on. Embarrassment ensues.
When: June 19th
Where: Cabin 102
Warnings: Likely mentions of alcohol addiction and child abuse.

[The day after the excursion team returns back to the ship is... peaceful, somehow. After the mess that was his conversation with Johnny, Rich had been expecting to wake up with a guilty migraine and the miserable nausea that comes after a good cry, but surprisingly, he wakes without much complaint, and after sneaking some more chocolate from César's drawer, he's feeling well enough to get out of bed, and is actually considering going to the buffet for something substantial to eat when he opens the door and is face to not-face with Friday.

There's envelopes in his hands moments later. He reads the top one, for César, and tries to protest these clearly aren't for him, but she's already off again. She's really bad at answering questions, huh? Granted, that's probably because she's too busy to stick around and have an existential chat.

Well, Rich doesn't mind being the mailman. He's pretty sure his roommate spent the night canoodling with his boyfriends, and now that he's checked the other envelopes, it looks like the other two are addressed to those men. He can get this done quickly before breakfast, surely. It just means he'll end up having to enjoy a good brunch instead.

He knocks on the door to the cabin before checking to see if there's a slipper propping the door open.]

Hey! Are you all decent in there? I don't wanna see a lick of PDA before I come in, alright?

Comments

[pineapplesalmon]

César would argue that, yes, that would count as abandonment. When you have to choose between survival or family, they've abandoned you emotionally. He may also be biased, considering how great he thinks Johnny is.

Watson's words get a smile and yes, another squeeze of his hand. John would've taken care of him regardless, certainly. But regardless, he saw the younger man before him as a person.

"You might not have known how much you needed it, but we did. We tried incredibly hard to make sure you got the care you needed while giving you the breathing room you needed, too. Something, something, responsible adults, sí?"

He's looking to Rich as he talks again, looping his arm with the hand holding his card gently over Rich's shoulders.

"As an example myself: I didn't know how much I needed these two until we found each other... and I experienced the same fears you've been worried about. My own baby brother, Rex—you two have a few similarities in your kindness and enthusiasm—he..."

César shakes his head, his smile saddening as he looks to Johnny, needing the support in those almost golden eyes. He understands how Rich feels in incredible detail. And thus, he's the one that will give the corroborating evidence to show Rich he really isn't alone.

"... can't conceptualize me as a person. Him and his found family couldn't accept me, not really. I was always an outsider. After he involuntarily disappeared and things began to get bad, they packed up his things without giving me a single memento, then left. Leaving me to save tens of thousands of lives by myself while I was grappling with losing my entire family, not that any of them cared to realize that. To be honest, I irrationally feared you might decide to hate me like he did for a bit. You didn't, but I still worried."

He glances back to Rich, pulling the young man closer to him. "... So Johnny's right about me being heart-wounded and abandoned. I was afraid that they, or later, you, would abandon me once seeing who I was. But neither of them did, and there's no way any of us would do that to you. We've all felt alone and unloved, each for different reasons."

César shrugs, smiling for real now. "So matter what kind of friendship or family or relationship we settle into... Whatever we end up being to each other, if we even never want to someday define it at all... I'm happy to let happen naturally, including working through any ups or downs that might occur."

A laugh. "Including me being perhaps unnecessarily wordy. Hmm. Perhaps I should have warned you about that, first?"

[lightconductor]

Watson casts a glance over at Johnny; unfortunately, he's in the wrong place to offer any sort of physical reassurance at that soft "abandoned," but his expression is faintly worried.

"Rich, lad, we all need someone to lean on sometimes. You're more than welcome to lean on us, if that's something you need. The point is... you shouldn't be alone. All four of us have been, but that doesn't mean we must continue to be."

[firewalled]

"...I wish you all didn't know what that was like," Rich offers quietly. He knows for sure that none of them have done anything so wrong it warrants being left behind and forgotten. He wishes so badly they didn't understand him in this regard like they do with so many of Rich's other eccentricities.

He leans in a bit when César wraps an arm around him, his fears of being too close momentarily put to the side. He feels like... they all need a little closeness right now.

He's surprised to hear about his roommate's brother, wonders what they have in common. Would they have connected too, or would they have hated each other? César says he's kind, but... a kind person would have gone back for someone who needed it. It seems so much like César needed the help. He finds himself slightly angry, his words coming out with more force than necessary.

"I wouldn't hate you guys. Any of you. I already told you all... you were the ones that were supposed to hate me. I've messed up plenty. Already messed up more than once with people here. You aren't supposed to let me keep coming back and..." He sniffles and has to press knuckles against his eyes to stop himself from getting overly emotional.

"Keep trying to be a family." He exhales then, and laughs wetly. "I can't believe I fucking said it. I was so afraid of telling you how I saw you."

[businessorlibation]

And that's when Johnny swoops in with all the speed of a hunting hawk, wrapping his wings arms around Rich. At least this time, he's not dressed up fancy, so Rich can't use the same excuse about snotting on a nice suit.

"Throw that out. The rulebook of what any of us are 'supposed to'. We're not following that, we're figuring this out for ourselves. Together, all of us. Alright? We will make the decisions about how this family works, and how we care for each other."

[pineapplesalmon]

César had been bothered that Johnny was all by himself. That problem is now solved. He managed to shift his arm in time to let Johnny swoop in, but he's also not removing that arm. César lets go of Watson's hand and grabs his card out of his other hand, handing it to Watson quickly to put on the nightstand. With both hands free, he wraps an arm around Johnny as well.

He'll also shift himself just enough that Watson can slide into the tight, small space between César and the couch's arm if he so desires.

There's a smile on his face as he squeezes them both, pressing a kiss to Johnny's hair and then Rich's. "We've all messed up. Families mess up. Good families figure things out together, never alone, and never let hate or rulebooks get between them. John and Johnny are both right, mijito."

It rolls right off the tongue, yet isn't shocking. A term of extra endearment for a younger male. The last time he had heard it had been from the mouths of one of his parents, directed to him.

"Come here, John. Group hug!"

[lightconductor]

Watson chuckles, and after putting the cards to one side, comes into wrap his arms around everyone in a tight embrace.

"Family it is," he says. He never thought he'd have the chance to define anyone like that, not again, but there's a comfort in it, regardless. "We're an odd family, I suppose, but I don't see anyone laying down rules to follow."

[firewalled]

Rich has no excuses at the moment, but really, after the horror of these backhanded gifts has subsided, he doesn't want to offer any platitudes to wrangle himself out of this. He just wraps his arms tight around Johnny, while still pressed against César, and in no time at all he feels Watson join in a warm embrace to Rich's side. He laughs a bit, still sniffling and trying to compose himself, but the situation just feels ridiculous and lovely enough that he can't help the joy overwhelming his earlier fear.

He hears that term, too. He was never the best in Spanish class, but he thinks he understands what César is saying. He understands Johnny and Watson as well, not knowing the rules but being willing to toss them out for the sake of someone you care for.

It's harder for him to poke his head out of the hug and not sound too muffled when he speaks, but he manages, with a slight chuckle again as he gets confetti in his mouth. Bleh. Younger him really needed better ratio control.

"You guys don't mind? Figuring out the rules as we go along and stuff? Like I know the basics, no murder or arson, but... the rest is gonna take me some getting used to." That was a bad joke.

[businessorlibation]

"If you decide to get into vigilante justice, I prefer to know up front. Which I know sounds like an unlikely instance, but it's a situation I've been surprised by before." This is also a bad joke. He melts into the group hug like the short king he is.

"Otherwise, though, we'll work through this all together. All of us, promise."

[pineapplesalmon]

"I'm odd, so there's no way we could be anything but. And, yes, please do warn us about any vigilante justice, and do keep the murdering and arson to a minimum." César might have to ask about that story, sometime, Johnny; the arson part is said more gently, all considering. "And my parents had to throw away the rulebook with me, so turnabout is fair play."

He can feel Johnny melt into the hug after Watson joins them. This is nice, wonderful. Something he thought would never happen again to him: a hug amongst four people.