Jade Curtiss (
fonomena) wrote in
come_sailaway2024-01-14 01:05 pm
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iron bridges, melodic chimes; things i made for you back then
Who: Jade Curtiss & you
What: You ever wake up from a nap so long and ill-advised that now it's four months later and everything's been on fire and the apocalypse apparently may or may not be incoming--
When: Latter half of January, we're wobbling timelines as much as we like for this one folks
Where: Cabin 133 --> Cabin 109, various locales of the ship afterwards
Warnings: Potential high volume of gross feelings and unexpected hugs from unexpected places, also mad teenaged punching probably, but otherwise uuh probably nothing terrible??
(closed to steve & natsuno); folding chairs and building blocks
[For the first thirty seconds or so, Jade doesn't notice anything amiss. This is on account of not actually opening his eyes, and not actually thinking about anything, for the duration of those thirty seconds. It's quite nice.
The perpetual rock of the ship still sways, as it always has. All is quiet, as this hour of morning always is. This has been...a rather deep and dreamless sleep, which does happen for him on occasion, though it's a rarity. The couch-bed is oddly quite comfortable for once, as well. All told, this might just be the best night's rest he's had in possibly years--
And then he opens his eyes, and turns his head, and the serenity promptly evaporates.
(Gets up from an--actual bed, which is ostensibly Natsuno's bed. The rest of the room--all articles of furniture technically where they should be, yet there's a clean and distinct emptiness, more akin to inn quarters freshly turned over by housekeeping than a place two people have lived in for well over a year. Nothing in desk drawers, or the wardrobe. And all that before stepping out the cabin door, and into...a portion of the residential hall that's far further along than it ought to be. "133", reads the placard on the wall...?)
It's more an automatic impulse than practical sense that leads Jade's highly disoriented self down the hall to cabin 109. Are there...singe marks, on some of the walls? A scattering of debris even here, that he's rather certain hadn't been here yesterday? Later, worry about it later, whatever has transpired overnight. First things first. He reaches for the handle and the lock...does not budge. So.
Jade knocks crisply on 109's door instead, frowning slightly and arms folded expectantly. Surely not a particularly alarming sort of person to find on your doorstep at just a few minutes past six in the morning: a tall man in some sort of teal military uniform, unnaturally red eyes peering critically behind a pair of glasses, when the person on the other side of the door is revealed to be...hmm.]
...Well now, you're certainly not Yuuki. [It's not meant to be accusatory, at least?! ...Well, alright, it might be a little accusatory. Sorry Steve--]
(open i); magic mirrors to pretend
[The rest of the day progresses along, of course, as days tend to do. At some point Jade manages to make it out of the cabin hall(if not probably without sustaining a good punch or two from potentially multiple emotionally compromised teenaged youths in the process), but his feet take him around on something like autopilot while the rest of his thoughts still reel from the inevitable news reunion brings. Months, several months of absence. All while events continued transpiring, the situation upon the ship slowly but surely unraveling ever further out of hand, and now...
It really is as if some sort of disaster has swept its way through the majority of the public areas, residue from the chaos of the "launch" yet to be entirely cleared. Jade wanders from the atrium to sundries, the dining room and the library, the sprawling mess of the promenade and all the way up to the sports deck, a rough mimic of the route he'd always take in semi-daily walks of the ship to canvass its status in the past. The strangest part, of all this, is how it still feels as if he'd taken such a walk just the other day...and yet.
...Lingering overly long upon it only makes it increasingly, stiflingly disquieting. As his wandering progresses, Jade is increasingly wearing an air of searching for something, though it's difficult to divine exactly what that might be from a distance. In the interim, he can be accosted just about anyplace: perhaps squinting at the new shirts in the Bric-a-Brac, or opening the door to the Tommy Bahama and nearly tripping over the small wave of hot dogs that pour through it (???????), or peering pensively at the single lonely signpost holding sentinel between the pool bar and the adult pool. "The signs have been hidden. If anything comes here, itβs better that we tell it where we come from or where we want to go on our own terms..."
It really does seem that he's been returned none too soon. But whether it's entirely too late...well. Perhaps there's no point in fretting over that now.
Perhaps...]
(open ii); seismographic data in our hearts
[In the end, it's the memorial that finally makes it feel truly and unnervingly tangible.
He almost misses it in weaving carefully around the other various keepsakes left here, yet in the end it's the ridiculous rappig-shaped sticker affixing it to the little display that catches the corner of Jade's eye and holds it. Recognition sinks in as he approaches, the shape of the notebook paper, the densely narrow handwriting that's his own. Then, legible as he draws to a halt in front of it...the actual contents of the words. A partial argument proposal draft, started long ago, never finished. "On the societal integration of living replicas..."
The one good deed he hoped he'd ever accomplish. It had felt pointless to complete the draft, upon learning that this existence was likely simply an offshoot of the man still undoubtedly pursuing this cause back in the world of Auldrant. That other Jade who would certainly, ideally, strive to remedy the plight of replicas in his own stead. Yet still, someone looked at this paper here and now, and decided it was still a cause that could represent his memory--even here.
...Ah. Perhaps this is how it must feel, then, to stand before a grave with a heart that isn't numb. What a chilly and sinking sort of sensation. Or is this just a particularly unique sort of experience one gets, when visiting the metaphorical coffin you've all but literally been buried in?
Jade stands and stares at the paper for far too long, and even when he does reach out eventually, fingertips only pinch at a corner and do not pull--uncertain whether it'd be better to take it back, or leave it here.]
(wildcard); let's invent them all again
[Feel free to bring a prompt of your own if none of the above quite fit! π Jade can be found pretty much anywhere on the ship rn so, go wild go crazy]
What: You ever wake up from a nap so long and ill-advised that now it's four months later and everything's been on fire and the apocalypse apparently may or may not be incoming--
When: Latter half of January, we're wobbling timelines as much as we like for this one folks
Where: Cabin 133 --> Cabin 109, various locales of the ship afterwards
Warnings: Potential high volume of gross feelings and unexpected hugs from unexpected places, also mad teenaged punching probably, but otherwise uuh probably nothing terrible??
(closed to steve & natsuno); folding chairs and building blocks
[For the first thirty seconds or so, Jade doesn't notice anything amiss. This is on account of not actually opening his eyes, and not actually thinking about anything, for the duration of those thirty seconds. It's quite nice.
The perpetual rock of the ship still sways, as it always has. All is quiet, as this hour of morning always is. This has been...a rather deep and dreamless sleep, which does happen for him on occasion, though it's a rarity. The couch-bed is oddly quite comfortable for once, as well. All told, this might just be the best night's rest he's had in possibly years--
And then he opens his eyes, and turns his head, and the serenity promptly evaporates.
(Gets up from an--actual bed, which is ostensibly Natsuno's bed. The rest of the room--all articles of furniture technically where they should be, yet there's a clean and distinct emptiness, more akin to inn quarters freshly turned over by housekeeping than a place two people have lived in for well over a year. Nothing in desk drawers, or the wardrobe. And all that before stepping out the cabin door, and into...a portion of the residential hall that's far further along than it ought to be. "133", reads the placard on the wall...?)
It's more an automatic impulse than practical sense that leads Jade's highly disoriented self down the hall to cabin 109. Are there...singe marks, on some of the walls? A scattering of debris even here, that he's rather certain hadn't been here yesterday? Later, worry about it later, whatever has transpired overnight. First things first. He reaches for the handle and the lock...does not budge. So.
Jade knocks crisply on 109's door instead, frowning slightly and arms folded expectantly. Surely not a particularly alarming sort of person to find on your doorstep at just a few minutes past six in the morning: a tall man in some sort of teal military uniform, unnaturally red eyes peering critically behind a pair of glasses, when the person on the other side of the door is revealed to be...hmm.]
...Well now, you're certainly not Yuuki. [It's not meant to be accusatory, at least?! ...Well, alright, it might be a little accusatory. Sorry Steve--]
(open i); magic mirrors to pretend
[The rest of the day progresses along, of course, as days tend to do. At some point Jade manages to make it out of the cabin hall
It really is as if some sort of disaster has swept its way through the majority of the public areas, residue from the chaos of the "launch" yet to be entirely cleared. Jade wanders from the atrium to sundries, the dining room and the library, the sprawling mess of the promenade and all the way up to the sports deck, a rough mimic of the route he'd always take in semi-daily walks of the ship to canvass its status in the past. The strangest part, of all this, is how it still feels as if he'd taken such a walk just the other day...and yet.
...Lingering overly long upon it only makes it increasingly, stiflingly disquieting. As his wandering progresses, Jade is increasingly wearing an air of searching for something, though it's difficult to divine exactly what that might be from a distance. In the interim, he can be accosted just about anyplace: perhaps squinting at the new shirts in the Bric-a-Brac, or opening the door to the Tommy Bahama and nearly tripping over the small wave of hot dogs that pour through it (???????), or peering pensively at the single lonely signpost holding sentinel between the pool bar and the adult pool. "The signs have been hidden. If anything comes here, itβs better that we tell it where we come from or where we want to go on our own terms..."
It really does seem that he's been returned none too soon. But whether it's entirely too late...well. Perhaps there's no point in fretting over that now.
Perhaps...]
(open ii); seismographic data in our hearts
[In the end, it's the memorial that finally makes it feel truly and unnervingly tangible.
He almost misses it in weaving carefully around the other various keepsakes left here, yet in the end it's the ridiculous rappig-shaped sticker affixing it to the little display that catches the corner of Jade's eye and holds it. Recognition sinks in as he approaches, the shape of the notebook paper, the densely narrow handwriting that's his own. Then, legible as he draws to a halt in front of it...the actual contents of the words. A partial argument proposal draft, started long ago, never finished. "On the societal integration of living replicas..."
The one good deed he hoped he'd ever accomplish. It had felt pointless to complete the draft, upon learning that this existence was likely simply an offshoot of the man still undoubtedly pursuing this cause back in the world of Auldrant. That other Jade who would certainly, ideally, strive to remedy the plight of replicas in his own stead. Yet still, someone looked at this paper here and now, and decided it was still a cause that could represent his memory--even here.
...Ah. Perhaps this is how it must feel, then, to stand before a grave with a heart that isn't numb. What a chilly and sinking sort of sensation. Or is this just a particularly unique sort of experience one gets, when visiting the metaphorical coffin you've all but literally been buried in?
Jade stands and stares at the paper for far too long, and even when he does reach out eventually, fingertips only pinch at a corner and do not pull--uncertain whether it'd be better to take it back, or leave it here.]
(wildcard); let's invent them all again
[Feel free to bring a prompt of your own if none of the above quite fit! π Jade can be found pretty much anywhere on the ship rn so, go wild go crazy]
no subject
β but the guy's still talking. steve huffs and runs a hand through his sleep-mussed hair instead.
but something else he says gets steve's attention now, and not in the "i'm going to argue with you until i'm blue in the face" way, but more of an "oh damn this is something significant" way.
his grumpy expression melts away into a thoughtful sort of surprise. )
Holy shit. You're...
( what was his name again? )
...That guy. The- the guy. The one who used to live here.
( how does he put this kindly )
I'm pretty sure you disappeared, dude. I'm talking a while ago.
no subject
Is not quite the response he was expecting, to say the least. The cheery smile wavers, surprise briefly overtaking it; Jade blinks back, at that startled thoughtfulness suddenly falling upon Steve's features, which is perhaps the most jarring thing of all about this.]
'Used to'--I beg your pardon? [Okay. Hold on. Maybe there's...some kind of mis-translation happening here? Yet, intently studying Steve's expression for a confounded second, Jade can't find anything to indicate some other meaning here--which is even more concerning, to be sure.] ...Surely that couldn't be so. I remember--
[Being here. Just yesterday. He'd only slept. (...When did he sleep? How very unsettling, suddenly, to actually think back on it for the first time and not be entirely certain just when he'd retired the night before, actually?) There are times when thoughts leap a little too quickly, in this head of his, and now is one of those times; naturally, a worst case scenario emerges to his mind immediately, and despite himself the concern flickers into visibility upon Jade's face in turn. He leans back a bit, eyes lifting from Steve to the space of the darkened room behind him, as if he might be able to get a glimpse through the crack in the door to the other side...]
--Is Natsuno Yuuki still here?
[Steve never actually specified whether he's here or not, he's realizing. Setting aside the positively icy pit that forms somewhere in his chest rather suddenly, at the possibility--]
1/2
The crack of fake dawn is his cue to head back to 109. Maybe he should do his laundry, or take an unnecessary nap before he starts the same dull routine all over again. Passing time, waiting for the other show to drop, the next disaster to strike.
He can hear familiar voices down the corridor, and looks like there's someone at 109's door. For Steve? That's weird, he never wakes up this... early...
Natsuno stops in his tracks, staring at the figure by the door. Crisp blue uniform, shiny long hair, a sardonic lilt that's both unmistakable and so, so annoying.
He doesn't know how long he stands there - probably mere moments, though it feels much longer. Natsuno doesn't even realize he's moving again until he's right next to - ]
Jade?
[Maybe he shouldn't be surprised. Disappeared passengers were trickling back over those last few months. Steve was one of them. So there's really no reason to be surprised - or is he surprised? Natsuno can't quite figure out the sudden surge of emotion. Actually it's emotions, in plural, but it really is a bit too much right now so he'll have to settle on one - ]
no subject
[Yeah, let's go with anger.
Natsuno's hands connect with Jade's upper arms, and for one terrifying moment it feels like the prelude for a hug. It's only a moment though, so brief you can comfortably ignore it later and Natsuno will deny anything if it's ever brought up. A moment - and then he shoves Jade forcefully, right into 109. Hope he doesn't stumble on Steve on his way!]
You absolute asshole - !
[And here he comes, fists clenched, to punch Jade in the shoulder. Try not to get blindsided, because Natsuno's high beams are back on. It's been a while since he lost control of his sun magic like this, he must be rather upset...]
no subject
( Steve shouts as Jade is abruptly pushed into him. He staggers back, completely caught off guard, and instinctively reaches for anything to catch his balance. Unfortunately Jade is also the only thing within arm's reach so Steve grabs at his jacket, potentially pulling them both down onto the floor in the process. )
no subject
And none too pleased, but. This might actually be the most normal thing that's happened to Jade this morning so far, all things considered...
Alas, caught in the crossfire as he is, Steve's reflexes sure do bring both him and Jade crashing down onto the floor--Jade himself not even quite able to get a word out before that moderately-vampire-strength-fueled punch connects with his shoulder, which would have sent him reeling even without the initial shove.
(Could have been worse. Could have been a hug, as that very disconcerting moment of Natsuno's hands on his arms nearly seemed to threaten. A punch is far more straightforward, at the least...but this sure is still a mess--)
The entrance to cabin 109 is now a pile of sprawled limbs, with bonus weird lighting from Natsuno's highly emotional eye-glowing. It's all very undignified and awkward. Steve does not deserve this. Jade tries to roll off of him fairly quickly, at least, upper arm smarting and glasses askew, grabbing the doorframe in an attempt to pull himself back up to his feet as he stares back at Natsuno with a decidedly uncharacteristic frown.]
Well, now-- [Natsuno's still here. Thank goodness. Whatever it is that's happened, at least there's this small comfort. Even if he's clearly impossibly angry at Jade presently, for reasons that are probably somewhat justified.] --Hold on. It seems we need--to start from the top, this is all very...are you quite alright, down there? Here, up you get...
[Offering a hand down to Steve, if he's...in any state to take it...but, highly distracted as he is, Jade's attention can't help but flick back over to Natsuno soon enough.]
...Yuuki, have I--how long has it been since the disappearance?
["Did I disappear?", Jade almost wants to ask...but no, it's a redundant question. Between what Steve had said earlier, and the jarring display of emotion on Natsuno's own part...really, what else could it have been? (But how could it have happened? To never have even realized...)]
no subject
But then Jade offers to help Steve up, and Natsuno realizes that oh, this guy's still here and it gives him just enough of a pause to pull himself back together. Natsuno forces himself to school his expression back into his usual stoic mask.]
Four months.
[Good, his voice sounds normal enough. The white glow in his eyes dims slowly into red rings around the irises - that burning sensation was definitely the sun El and not something awful and embarrassing like tears.]
I gave your stuff away.
[I thought you were dead for good. You JERK.]
no subject
Steve accepts the helping hand with gritted teeth, scowling in the way only someone who's been woken up before their alarm and thrust into an undesirable social situation (oh yeah and also pushed onto the floor) can. His eyes dart between Natsuno and Jade as he stands there, momentarily unsure of what he should do.
Say something? Stay quiet? Uhhhh
He finally slips over to the closet to gather an outfit for the day. )
Don't mind me. I'll just be, uh. Yeah, ( he mumbles with a nod towards the bathroom. He slips inside and latches the door behind him, fully planning on taking the world's longest shower β at least until he hears at least one of these dudes leave. )
no subject
Four months.]
...I suppose that would be the reasonable thing to do, after all. [With an excess of items. Left behind. By a person gone for four months. At this particular moment, the scattering of his belongings barely registers as something to really linger upon, let alone be unhappy about--especially with the larger concept of having been disappeared currently blotting out just about anything else--yet still, the response takes too long to come, and emerges a bit too thinly. A slight frown settles upon Jade's features, and does not leave; he's staring at Natsuno properly now, studying his features as if perhaps he might be able to pinpoint the exact slight variations that four months might bring. ...Another long pause, and he gestures gingerly to the doorway.] Let's...take this outside, perhaps. It would seem you've reason to deal me at least another punch or two.
But afterwards...you may need to catch me up. I have--no sense of the time passed. [It doesn't make any sense. (When has anything ever made any sense, on this ship?) Yet the look on Natsuno's face even as he tries to school it says plenty, and the look now falling upon Jade's face in turn...probably says something too.] Yet you're still here...
[At least, at least. That's a thought that shouldn't have been said aloud, actually, yet it slips out before it can quite be stopped anyhow.]
no subject
The expression settling on Jade's face is... well, it's something. Looking at it makes the knot in his chest even tighter, so Natsuno turns to exit the cabin.
When he speaks, his voice is flat, the bitterness almost imperceptible. Almost.]
I'm still here. Like always.
[Always the one who survives, who keeps coming back while watching everyone else die. Jade exits the cabin, and Natsuno keeps listing facts in clipped, flat sentences. If Jade wants to catch up, he should keep up -
Huh. He's extremely angry, isn't he.]
Clarke's gone too. Disappeared a few days after you did. But Rita's still here. We went on an excursion, and it sucked.
[Natsuno used to be adamantly against it, but both he and Rita felt like they should do it, at least once. They had to keep the ship going, at least until Tayrey could launch her probe. Both he and Rita thought, if we signed up earlier, maybe the ship would've had enough energy to keep Clarke and Jade around.
The memory burns hot in Natsuno's chest and he grunts in frustration.]
We thought you were gone -
[Here comes that second punch, to the other shoulder this time. It's less forceful than before, more to punctuate the words than anything.]
For good.
no subject
But in a way all that just makes this moment here and now all the more its own sort of punch--entirely separate, from the fist connecting with his other shoulder this time. Halting Jade's steps, a bit further down the hall from 109's door; his frame rocks a bit with the impact, but there's no resistance, and the reflexive wince does little to diminish the look still on his face. Still a bit stunned, but ever more increasingly mortified too.
"I'm still here. Like always."
Of course that bitterness would seep through, despite Natsuno's best efforts. How could it not? Perhaps Jade never did seek out a fully comprehensive tale directly from Natsuno, about the events in his home village that had led to his current shiki state. But the context clues have been plenty, over their mutual time on this ship--willingly conferred or not--and the picture painted had pointed to a survivor who wished he hadn't, even before waking here. (Both parents incapacitated, his entire village likely beset to convert by shiki, and that flat willingness to eliminate himself along with the rest of them, in that memory rift...) Then there had been his hollow-eyed state in the wake of "winning" the battle royale--his initial willingness to blow himself up, during the Jinx incident--and now this. Left behind, by...not one, but two friends that he should have been able to rely on.
(Clarke as well? But at least not Rita too...at least, there again. Still more terrible news than not. He should contact Rita as well, Jade thinks vaguely, before said thought just as promptly slips out of grasp--there's just too much to absorb in this moment. The fact that they'd even gone on an excursion, in the end, despite being so vehemently against it just--the other day--except it wasn't just the other day, but far longer, too long...)]
That's... [Jade starts speaking, stops. It's not often that he's at a loss for words, and it never feels any less compromising when he is. Suddenly he rather wishes Natsuno hadn't stopped at that second punch, because at least being punched is something that only ever needs one set reaction. But this...] ...Neither of you could be blamed for that. After that much time...
[A slow breath. What can be said, to this? How can he ease that terrible look on Natsuno's face? The terrible length of the gap, in the time between them now. ...He doesn't know how to fix this. But surely he needs to.]
I don't know--why it happened. Or how it is that I've returned now. ...I'll have to retrace my steps, determine if--if there might have been something that loosened my grasp, or gave way. I would never let-- [Well, that's been proven wrong now, hasn't it?] --I would never want to...
[The sentence trails off again. Jade only realizes he's raised a hand to rub at his shoulder only after he's already doing it; things feel a bit delayed, disjointed. The news just won't process, though it must. He needs to fix this.]
...If I may be candid, Yuuki. I want to apologize, but I don't know that I can. If I cannot determine the cause. And even then...it wouldn't be enough, of course. I suppose nothing ever will. [Jade readjusts his glasses distractedly.] ...It also doesn't seem right. That I cannot even recall the absence. That you would suffer the aftermath, while I've experienced nothing.
[......]
A few punches may not be enough this time, I think.
no subject
It takes an active effort to shove his hands in his pockets, where he twists the fabric between clenched fists.]
I don't need an apology.
[I needed you to stay. But - he's being childish and unfair. The words come out too sharp. Natsuno tries again.]
I mean, there's nothing to apologize for. I know it's not your fault you disappeared. [Quietly:] It's better that you don't remember it, anyway. The nothing. I'm just -
I'm glad. That you're back.
no subject
It's a thoroughly unpleasant feeling. And yet...
How very plainly Natsuno states it at last, there at the end. --Not a sort of forthright vulnerability either of them are accustomed to. Jade stiffens, lets the words pass over him; exhales the tension, a small sigh.
It won't be enough, and perhaps nothing will ever be enough, but all the same--] I'm glad as well. To be back. ...I don't know whether it's a higher decree or entirely a matter of fortune, but regardless. I didn't want to leave any of you behind before...and I don't intend to now either. While I am still here...
[He shifts where he stands, hand dropping from his shoulder and--sort of hovering, for just a moment, as if he's half a mind to reach over to Natsuno and...do, something. Pat him on the arm, perhaps, or maybe--well. No, in the end he actually really doesn't know what that gesture was meant to be, and his arms settle at his sides. (Ah, now there's terrible feelings nobody wants to look at and things are incredibly awkward on top of that, what a truly wonderful combination here.)]
...Perhaps we ought to start from the top, then. At the least. --What would you like to do? We don't have to discuss anything yet. Or we can, if that's what you prefer. Or...if there is anything else, that you would have wanted to impart in my absence...
[None of these suggestions feel particularly helpful or fitting, but as always, Jade's knee-jerk reflex in response to problems is still trying to find a path that progresses, at least in some form. Anything that isn't just standing in this hall and not knowing what to do with the other...]
no subject
His rational mind knows this is an empty promise, as childish as his anger at Jade for disappearing. None of them has control of their existence on the Eterna, not even the captain. And yet the words are like a salve, because unlike Jade, Natsuno never had an issue understanding his feelings. He may not know how to handle them, may intentionally push them away, but he's honest with himself about what they are.
The truth is that he missed Jade terribly, and he feels less lost now that he's back.
The other truth is that he wouldn't mind if that hand made contact, but... well, best to move on from that, for both their sakes. Jade is still clearly at a loss, but four months of absence are a lot to take it. Natsuno pulls himself together.]
You probably want coffee, right? [Since it's early morning and all. Plus it's an excuse to leave this corridor.] And catch up on what you missed.
[Relaying information was always easier than dealing with awkward feelings. Natsuno turns and heads to the elevator, offering bits on information along the way.]
We stopped getting new people for a while now. But some of the disappeared came back, like you did. My new roommate's one of them, too...
[Ping! Sand dollars it is.]
The biggest news is that Lieutenant Tayrey managed to send a distress call beyond the barrier.