come_sailaway | (no subject)

Who: Venti and open /o/
What: laaate post-event thing for him, waking up from a little stress nap and being tiny.
When: near september!
Where: hurikane mostly!
Warnings: none really except maybe coming back from death and trauma-y memories if he talks about that. other than that he’s just a small fairy being an idiot.

[ it's not very responsible of him, but 1) responsibility and 2) venti: pick one. he is actually the kind of person who tends to disappear at occasional moments, sometimes at the most irresponsible times. he's also the kind who could stress-nap entire decades away, so maybe a good couple of days or even a week is being almost responsible for him. there's darkness, then he wakes up in bed rather unexpectedly and painfully by his new roomie. he processes that he's returned to life and rafaela is back and instead of talking to her or going out and checking on other people, why not just... go back to sleep. so he does.

a day later or so, he kind of disappears entirely, like wind invisible that may float away.

and maybe a week after that, the wind may slowly pull himself together. but he is weak, he's not terribly strong, he's rather tired and maybe lost more faith in himself. venti himself hasn't been around in a good while but a fairy-looking thing, something small and white that practically looks like a bird from a distance, would be slowly floating through the ship towards a bar. you can maybe find this creature:

1. fluttering rather dazedly, like a dizzy bee, charting a little path through the ship en route to deck five.
2. it seems to take breaks every so often to simply sit on the ground, or maybe even float to sit tiredly on your shoulder or head if you're nearby and make a nice perch.
3. sitting on the ground staring up at the door to hurikane, looking bemused at how to open it, chirping tiredly at you if you're nearby to please open the door!
4. if he manages to get in the bar, the critter is sitting on the counter making half-hearted little chirps to the ghost bartender who apparently doesn't get the hint that he needs wine.
5. eventually, or maybe a day later or so, venti would find it in himself to transform back and simply be found in hurikane at a table surrounded by bottles. he needs this, he really does.
(6. wildcard/anything else!! i might just make this a catch-all for september too i don't know yet) ]

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[ He isn't mad, really. He knows Venti has his reasons for not wanting to see Mizuki. Perhaps ending up in this form is even one of the reasons? He doesn't know for sure. He doesn't really care in the moment. Nothing really matters beyond the relief of just having Venti here. ]

I'm sorry. [ He can't imagine how Venti might even be feeling right now. What he saw. What he felt. ] I-I didn't mean to leave you be. I just… I thought if I waited by the diner, you'd— [ Excuses. ]

I'm so sorry. [ He gently runs a thumb over the top of his head. ] I… I really am trying to do better. To protect you. To not let stuff like this affect me, but… [ Sniff. ] I hate, hate, hate the thought of anything happening to you.

[ thinking clearly is a bit difficult, probably both for being in his base form and also just... he doesn't really feel like thinking much, he kind of just wants to get drunk or sleep. very very useful and whatever, but what can be said? even so there's the feeling in the back of his head, he needs to get his shit together, he needs to maybe transform back, he needs to reassure mizuki, he needs to do better, he...

all of these vague thoughts kind of circulate above him but seemingly far away, he could sense and acknowledge it but doing anything about it is maybe a different story.

but he doesn't want mizuki to cry. he croons quietly, gently bumps his face to mizuki's, once. then just sits down in his hands. noticeably just listless, compared to all the other times he'd been so energetic before. ]

[ There's another sniff, but he shakes his head a bit to snap him more out of his upset. This isn't about Mizuki, anyway. He can't imagine what Venti had gone through. He's frustrated, it's true. He's frustrated he can't protect the people he cares about. How is it so much easier to do that in a world where there's constant violence and war, versus here where it's so infrequent? He doesn't quite understand it. It'd be funny, if it weren't sad.

What should he do? What should he say? What can he do now to make it better? How could he ever make up for something like this? He's convinced he can't. ]

… Do you want help with this? [ He gestures to the door to the bar. He shouldn't help Venti indulge in this, but, hey, whatever might make him feel better in the moment right now, right? ]

[ he glances from mizuki to the bar. and it’s true, he came here specifically to try to drink his ass off even if he’s a wisp and it’s debatable if he even can get drunk like this, he might just teeter around like a tipsy bird if he tried. it’s true that he wanted to see mizuki, but also wanted to try to avoid him because he knew he was weak, mizuki would feel devastated and guilty to see him, he knows all this, he wasn’t sure what he could do to try to reassure him. he’s a little tired to do anything but want to drink.

but…

he shakes his head. and then just nudges his face to mizuki’s again, a soft peck. no wine. he wants to stay with him, when everything seemed so difficult and he’s so very tired. if he could be selfish he did really want to see mizuki, even with the fear and uncertainty. ]

[ Well, this is all fine and good, and he's more than happy to keep Venti from drinking himself stupid, but it's also all he knows might make Venti feel better in the moment. Mizuki certainly can't do anything. He couldn't even protect Venti. From Mizuki's point of view, he had abandoned everyone on the cliffside, and just hoped they would all come back, instead of sticking around to help where he could.

Useless.

He hangs his head a bit and wipes away some of the wetness from his eyes before tears could properly form. He's okay. It's fine. Venti's here now, and he needs to smile. He has to. Maybe if he does, things will be okay for Venti, too? So, he does. It's certainly not a genuine smile, but he's never been too good at hiding his real emotions. He never really thought he had to. (Never let him play poker.) ]

In that case… you'll stay with me? There's probably no imposed danger here on the ship, but… um… I'd feel better if you'd be around me for a while, if that's okay.

[ well he sure would argue against that line of thinking but he isn't exactly in the form to be able to argue for much at all, and... all right he's not very argumentative. look at it this way, look who's considerably more useless right now!! here he is and he can't even talk, he can't even do much, he craves drink even as a stupid little fairy, he can't reassure mizuki.

but he wants to be close. he chirps again in agreement, his wings flickering for a moment, then gently tapping close to mizuki's cheek, again and again. he can't quite offer much at all.

maybe he just needs a while to be less useless, promise. ]

[ Mizuki doesn't see him any different in this wisp form, if he's being honest. He may even see this wispy form as more himself than that other form he takes, if he's being honest. There's a part of him that wants him to just stay like this. It might not be as strong, it might be harder to communicate, it might be harder to just do things in general, but to Mizuki, it's a little more genuine, and a lot easier for him to protect, he thinks. But he's not about to go asking Venti to stay this way. That seems like it'd be giving up way too much. Especially that voice. He couldn't force Venti to do that.

But he can, for now, lift the little wisp up and nuzzle his head against the wisp for now. ]

I love you. I-I really did think that I'd be okay — because we talked about it and because I knew you'd be back… but…

[ Ugh. ]

I-… I'm sorry I wasn't there. Even if I couldn't have saved you, I never want you to feel alone.

[ it’s true that this is his original self but by now… what kind of identity could he really be confident in anyway? he was once wind, completely invisible and practically insensible. he became a wind wisp with elemental power, voiceless but it was enough for people to attach hope to him. he transformed to human, he modeled himself almost completely after someone else, and then he could sing and travel and…

he has no idea. he just wanted to help others. however successful he has or hasn’t been throughout millennia, and failing to help caitlyn might just be another fall. yet at that point, staring into the sightless eyes of a too-familiar corpse, it seemed as if everything else in the world was terribly far away. there was the desperation to help caitlyn, but not even to help himself, and in a way he knew he completely couldn’t leave the sight of that body, deadly familiar, his sole and worst weakness and longing.

in a way, he didn’t even feel alone even as he felt limbs tear.

he just falls quiet. unsure what to say or do, just completely tired, almost given up. then he pats a small limb to mizuki’s cheek. he understands, but maybe is too fatigued to do much about it, or anything. ]

Edited 2022-09-05 01:33 (UTC)

… But you probably don't want to think about that right now. [ It's probably why he's here at the bar, isn't it? Often turning to drink when things he doesn't want to happen. Or when Mizuki says strange things. He just laughs this off for now. No need to think too much about it! Everything is okay. ]

What would make you feel better right now, then? Sleep? Or we could walk around the ship together? …I could sing to you?

[ he is a 1000% super functional got-his-shit-together asshole who just very occasionally rarely lapses into moments of just wanting to get fucking obliterated/wasted and maybe after dying is that special occasion. #justalcoholiclife, the coping and self-medication and addiction of thousands of years.

… but he supposes, let’s. try. not to. for the moment. just maybe. he kind of dizzily considers these options, looking uncertain and kind of just… pathetically useless, then peeps quietly three times. he already slept for a week, though he’d like to more. walking around is fine, but maybe he wants—oh, well. he just wants to be around mizuki. ]