come_sailaway | (no subject)

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Who: Venti and open /o/
What: laaate post-event thing for him, waking up from a little stress nap and being tiny.
When: near september!
Where: hurikane mostly!
Warnings: none really except maybe coming back from death and trauma-y memories if he talks about that. other than that he’s just a small fairy being an idiot.

[ it's not very responsible of him, but 1) responsibility and 2) venti: pick one. he is actually the kind of person who tends to disappear at occasional moments, sometimes at the most irresponsible times. he's also the kind who could stress-nap entire decades away, so maybe a good couple of days or even a week is being almost responsible for him. there's darkness, then he wakes up in bed rather unexpectedly and painfully by his new roomie. he processes that he's returned to life and rafaela is back and instead of talking to her or going out and checking on other people, why not just... go back to sleep. so he does.

a day later or so, he kind of disappears entirely, like wind invisible that may float away.

and maybe a week after that, the wind may slowly pull himself together. but he is weak, he's not terribly strong, he's rather tired and maybe lost more faith in himself. venti himself hasn't been around in a good while but a fairy-looking thing, something small and white that practically looks like a bird from a distance, would be slowly floating through the ship towards a bar. you can maybe find this creature:

1. fluttering rather dazedly, like a dizzy bee, charting a little path through the ship en route to deck five.
2. it seems to take breaks every so often to simply sit on the ground, or maybe even float to sit tiredly on your shoulder or head if you're nearby and make a nice perch.
3. sitting on the ground staring up at the door to hurikane, looking bemused at how to open it, chirping tiredly at you if you're nearby to please open the door!
4. if he manages to get in the bar, the critter is sitting on the counter making half-hearted little chirps to the ghost bartender who apparently doesn't get the hint that he needs wine.
5. eventually, or maybe a day later or so, venti would find it in himself to transform back and simply be found in hurikane at a table surrounded by bottles. he needs this, he really does.
(6. wildcard/anything else!! i might just make this a catch-all for september too i don't know yet) ]

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[ very eventually, after a week+ worth of sleepiness and worthlessness and just plain post-death depression, he does finally rouse, finding himself clutching the cloak and… ah, so that part wasn’t just a bad dream. it could be both a mercy and not, and yet when he looks down upon the clothing and feels the hollowness of his chest ache like it’d done so long ago, recalling the vision of that corpse that had dragged him down and clawed at him—

despite everything, he couldn’t want to give this up.

he wears it, drawing it quietly around his shoulders with a shudder. despite finally regaining human form it seems he doesn’t even really feel like crying, as if crashed through a boundary even of tears and heartache. he simply puts on the cloak, reaching fingertips vaguely to the chest wound of the torn fabric, bringing it away with flaked dried blood.

…

he goes to jinx at her bed and lies down next to her. exhausted not just physically, just spiritually and in all manner of the word completely. just curls up next to her with another shiver and lying beside her until she might wake. ]

(some days jinx is a light sleeper and other days a hard one. this particular time, she is sleeping pretty heavily. somehow the lightening of the stage lulls her and coaxes her into a slumber where her monsters are kept away. but she does feel the shift beside her and there's a slight stir. her eyes flutter lazily and then rolls to meet face to face of someone familiar.

just like before, she is quiet as she peers over. maybe she should start saying something but what words can be use? to say "everything will be okay" seems empty now a days. and it's hard for her to say such a thing when she often believes things will never be. jinx can only hope her presence will be enough for comfort to him because like him, she lost loved ones. some in death and some, well, relationships no longer in tact. with a weak smile, jinx reaches over to move a strain of his locks away from his eyes.)

... Hey.

Edited 2022-09-04 00:22 (UTC)

[ he watches her slowly rouse and… it’s almost painfully bittersweet how dear she’s become to him. it’s something he’s known for this long but sometimes, he just needs a reminder. that she’s taken care of him in her own way like this, stayed with him through so much, through his weakness—

at this moment he kind of forgets about ekko as well as he simply cuddles close to her; his body still cold, despite returning human. he presses his forehead to hers, eyes fluttering half-closed. ]

… Thanks for staying with me, Jinx. [ when he was a voiceless wisp. when he didn’t feel like doing anything but sleep. he still feels that way, but he supposes he really has to try to face reality. ]

(she expected him to be close to her but not exactly like this. although, she also feels him doing this is an exception. mizuki and ekko would understand, right? he is currently hurting and who would just leave someone in pain like this? ... well, she has the capability of abandoning someone in their time of need. and if she was the jinx from many, many months ago - she would had done just that. look out for yourself. that's what she was taught.

but venti, who is her first friend, softened her cold heart and truly he is the blame to why she cares for others so much. of course, she tends to get carried away with that "care" and it gets twisted into knots with questionable and concerning acts from her. but in it's core, jinx just loves and cares so deeply for her favorite people. she wants them to smile and experience happiness. and she wants to bring them those feelings whether it's from herself or something she can physical give.

so whenever they're like this, down or upset - her immediate thoughts are to hurt who or what hurt them. is it drastic? definitely. but it's only right to behave that way - it's a natural reaction, she thinks. but with this. there's no one she can charge at (besides friday) so there's not much she can do to make his pain go away but... be here beside him.)

(as he cuddles close, she can feel his cool temperature - which makes she shift a little more to wrap an arm around him for warmth. and as their foreheads press, she shuts her eyes too with a soft hum.)

Mm... — You know I always will if you need it. It's okay to... fall apart sometimes. I won't think of you any less for it. You're still gonna be my friend, I'm still gonna pray, and believe in you.

[ her words mean more to him than he knows how to say. and when he’s usually someone rather quick on the uptake, someone who’d like to think of himself as swift with words and even thought, someone who could often talk or act before thinking… the rather sluggish brain fog curled over him is just difficult. it’s what he’d want to stifle with alcohol until he passes out. it’s what he’d want to sleep away for maybe fifty years.

but he supposes he can’t do that. he struggles through trying to simply think, through misery, as his fingers clutch to the cloak. ]

This…

It belonged to my friend. [ every word rather slow, dragged out of him with the strained tone of his voice. ] I… didn’t think I would ever see something of his again.

But I did see him, or his undead self… or the vision of it in the desert.

[ it probably was a trick. it couldn’t possibly be the actual body of him. but it almost didn’t matter. ]

Edited 2022-09-04 04:47 (UTC)

(so her theory was correct but she didn't feel any less thrilled figuring it out on her own. jinx steadily moves her head -- her lips press sweetly on his forehead as she stares off... to nowhere in particular in the theater behind him. her hand now caressing his back; nails lightly dragging along to give little scratches for further soothing.

breathing in and slow breath out, she speaks almost in a whisper:)

You know he isn't suffering, right? He's at peace. — Try not to... linger on that fact if you are. From what you've told me of him, I think... he would be so proud of you with what you've done so far and he would never hurt you. Ever.

… I think you’re right. [ this, in a whisper. and the way he curls in towards her practically like trying to make himself smaller, like the form of the wisp that he is, his original self, when this very body of his is an imitation. a shadow and memory of his friend. ] You’re probably right. What I admired about him most was his conviction, his willingness to give all of himself to freedom. Maybe he had no regrets for his life.

But I do.

I’m the one who can’t let go. [ not for thousands of years. and it was the purest and worst weakness of him, that he never seemed to be able to resolve after so much time and wine, wine enough to send him into oblivion over and over again and yet it did nothing to salve or cure. ]

(it's unfortunate that the saying "time heals all wounds" can't work in this situation because he is living proof that the pain is still raw even after so many years.)

... And maybe the reason why you couldn't was 'cuz you haven't taken the right steps to. All those years, you've dealt with it on your own, right? Kept it inside and all that. But now, you're with us. A lotta of us care for you and... whoever you've told this to, we want you to heal and... feel better.

So. Maybe you can start takin' this whole thing the right direction and we can go through this progress with you together. If... that'll help any.

[ nothing she’s saying is wrong, and yet there’s both a muted sense of despair and a feeling almost of resigned finality. he’d spent more than two thousand years chasing after the memory of this one person, unwilling to give it up. ] I…

I suppose, I don’t… I don’t know how to do that. [ and he’s aware it sounds ridiculous, even to himself. so long lived, wanting to guide others and help others and having no clue how the hell to help himself, other than alcoholic self medication. he puts his face in his hands. ] Even… what I told you about Mr Silco. That I know some losses can’t heal but might fade with time. I, I don’t know why, but I can’t seem to… [ maybe he’s just unhelpable. he has no idea. this is exactly what fucks him up with mizuki. it was almost exactly what led him to his death, almost willingly dragged down by the undead. ]

(with her lips already resting on his forehead, jinx adds just a little pressure to it -- a light kiss. her hand moves away from his back but to place on his shoulder to tug away from their closeness. there's a small gap now but close still so the two of them can look at one another face to face.)

We can figure it out together. Since... well, I'm grieving, too.

(will it help him? she's not entirely sure. is he destined to be damned to this ache? whose to say. but maybe offering this, he wouldn't feel as alone in this journey.)

[ it’s true, they both are. and he hadn’t really wanted to bring up his mourning of thousands of years when she’d experienced silco’s death, but maybe if they could understand this much about each other…

it’s some amount of solace, being with her. he just nods mutely, not quite in the mood to talk much at all anymore, reaches to her hand to hold quietly. just wanting this touch and reassurance that they’d shared before.

the cloak feels terribly heavy on him. the torn area around the chest wounds almost as sharply as if fresh on his body. but somehow he feels a little less alone. ]

(as their hands meet, her fingers entwine with his -- the smile is small but warm. the kind that's reserved for certain people in her life. and it's okay if he no longer wishes to talk and jinx would definitely not push him to say anymore than he needs to. jinx is perfectly fine doing all the talking while he listens. in fact, sometimes her prayers to him do end up in rambles. maybe one day she'll ask him if that bothers him.)

You're stronger than you think.

(something her sister had said to her when she was younger. her voice so very faint these last two months and jinx wonders if she'll ever hear it clearly again.)

Matter what, we stick together.

[ he’d never actually thought of himself as strong, but it was what he admired about others most of all. his friend, for leading the rebellion. everyone else in that war, for giving their all and their lives. jean, lumine, diluc, everyone he knows, even zhongli and raiden… he does honestly think of them as having more conviction than he himself does.

he admires that about jinx, too, as he gently squeezes her hand. ] I’ll try. We can try together, then. [ his eyes close as he buries his face to her pillow, finally letting a few tears slip free, a long shuddering breath. it’s hard, it’s so hard. even after thousands of years. ]

Thank you, Jinx.

(with a warm smile, she brings up her free hand to lightly wipe the tears from his cheek. jinx leans in again to plant yet another small kiss on the forehead before settling more in next to him. )

Of course. (her tone kind, tender, and soft. a deep breath from out of her nose as she shuts her eyes, too. maybe if she relaxes her muscles and her mind, venti can as well in his own pace.)

Wanna make today an "us" day? We can lie here and talk. You can watch me work if you want later. Or I can put one some music? I don't have a lotta recorders but... I got one from Zaun that's not as wild.

[ he sniffs a little pathetically. ugh, how pitiful is this… but the way he curls a little under the cloak, clutching it as if it might be the most precarious thing in the world to him, is just—he just needs this, for now. his head hurts a little with misery but even he knows he needs to try to pull himself out of this.

slowly. he summons a small, tentative smile. ] Mm, sure we could do that. Music, or I’ll just watch you work. [ music really is the love of his life, whether or not he might be in a singing mood. ]

What might you be working on now?

(well with that being said, it looks like "jinx and venti/baratos" day is a-go. so for a moment, she raises up from the mattress and gives her body a stretch -- arms over her head with a light twist.)

The desert had a lotta cars so I rip some of 'em to pieces to gather the parts. I'm makin' guns. They're not for me, though. Two of my caps asked to make some for 'em.

(finish stretching, jinx walks on over to the curtains of the stage to yank out her gramophone. and luckily to save herself work, the recorder of choice is already set up. all she needs to do is turn it on and let it play.)

I just gotta design it a lil' more and I'd be through.

I think I say this a lot, but your mechanisms always really amaze me—

Wait, two captains? [ ??? well he knows about stede vaguely he supposes, but she probably isn’t talking about the eterna captain is she. The Captain. maybe so?? she’d talked to him once at that dinner but that was it, was it?? ]

Will you design them to be like fish or monkeys?

Yeah! Curly and Basilica the Raven! But everyone knows 'em as Stede and Izzy. I'm in their crew and they've been givin' me strict orders!

(she smiles to him over her shoulder -- even makes an attempt to wiggle her nose at him (she can't do it so she just looks goofy) then sits back down in front of the instrument.)

I'd do that buuut they don't seem like the type who would be interested in those designs. It's more like a "me" thing, anyway.

Your nicknames sure are creative. [ hm, so this izzy is another captain… this ship sure seems to have quite a few now.

there’s a weak smile as she wriggles her nose, he tries to imitate it with a bit more success, then sits up in bed, letting out a sigh and trying to tiredly summon up a bit more energy to simply… exist. ]

It might be a better idea to be armed if we ever face… threats, like those undead? [ but, he knew he wouldn’t have been able to raise an arrow against the corpse he’d seen. ]

Yeah. I'm thinkin' we all need to be armed or 'least know some kind of self-defense. But anythin' can be weapon if you know how to use it. Guns, knives, and all that isn't really necessary. Just more effective.

(she places the needle on the recorder and the song begins to play. but she makes sure the volume isn't as loud so they can still chat with it in the background.)

[ ah, this song is rather familiar. he hums along for a few bars, but only that, then falling quiet again. ] It’s a good idea, certainly, especially for those who might not have weapons or means of defense. I suppose, for me, I… should have been more capable. [ but he froze, seeing the face or clothes of someone he treasured. it cost him and trying to save caitlyn. ]

… I just realized, I didn’t ask but you came through all right, did you? [ apart from, probably, sore legs. ]

(she hums along with him until he speaks again. at the sheer moment he goes off to a self-loathing route, jinx spins around to face him fully. she scoots over without needing to re-sit herself then places both of her hands on the side of his face. jinx makes absolutely sure his gaze is at her and nothing else. her pinks are glue to his aqua green -- even glistening for a split second before resorting back.)

Oh no, you don't. I'm not gonna let you fall off that cliff while I'm here. You did what you could. And that's what matters, okay? Don't make me poke you again.

(she then lets her hands fall to her lap.)

And yeah, I came out of it fine.

[ he wasn’t going to be that depressed. … all right, maybe he was, but even he knows he has to try to pull himself out of this, slowly. he was a god meant to protect people after all, but it seems that he’s just been doing a poor job of that.

but it helps to have jinx’s support, he tries to offer another smile that quickly fades. ] … Thanks.

I tried to help… Caitlyn, back when the undead were attacking. But the both of us were overwhelmed. [ at this point he’s unsure how much of a hot button caitlyn is to jinx, but he watches her carefully; probably too tired to do too much if she might be angry. ] Have the two of you… not that you might be friends, but have you considered what I said? That the two of you could put any enmity on pause, for a while.

(it's hard to get a reading on her expression. is she upset? angry? secretly fuming? one can only guess. during her upbringing underneath silco, jinx had learned to keep a straight and default look whenever it's needed. it's normally during missions or for integration purposes if the rare chance she got captured.

this particular mask she hardly wears on the ship except for now. jinx sits motionless without a word as the song continues to bounce along the theater walls; it echoes once the chorus sings.)

(there's finally movement from her though after such intense stillness -- a roll of her shoulder as she speaks:)

Y'know when we were up there the air and I was havin' the time of my life? You probably didn't see 'cuz you were focusin' on us not fallin' to our doom but — (a small pause.) — one of the undeads I killed were the ones comin' after the Enforcer.

(and she will leave it at that. no further explanation.)

Edited 2022-09-06 16:46 (UTC)

[ ah.

… he quietly leans against her, and this time his smile is more sincere, the curl of the wind around the both of them is warmer and with the faint of cecilia. actually, this did take him a little by surprise, but in a good way. that he does have faith in her despite everything, moments like these gives him hope. ]

I’m really glad to hear that.

I hope the two of you could come to some understanding, someday. Whatever temporary or genuine alliance might be found, here on this ship.