come_sailaway | 5th Contraption || Just Another Day on Horror Cruise

Entry tags:

5th Contraption || Just Another Day on Horror Cruise

Who: César Salazar and YOU
When: Early September
Where: Around the ship (Calgona to Cabins, Atrium Lounge, Laundry to Cabins, Closed: 102)
What: César is Jinx's new canvas after falling asleep post workout, César says hello to CR in the atrium, César says hello while carrying laundry in a horrid basket, and a backdated morning after zombies for the Triad and Boy
Warnings: None but will add them to threads as needed

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Tagged, You're It [OTA, Walking between Calgona and the cabins]

César sometimes falls deeply asleep for a nap on one of the Calgona's massage tables post after-workout shower. Look, he can sleep on his face and stomach, can you blame him?

Nor can we blame Jinx for what she does when she finds him. A fresh white t-shirt and light gray lounge pants make an excellent blank canvas and a good way to deliver a hint that she's missed talking to him. By the time she's done, César's clothes are far more... colorful.

On the seat of his pants are two smileys that compliment the stars on either of his cheeks. Down the legs and arms of the shirt are more stars, zig-zags, and swirls. On the back of his shirt is a brightly colored:
JINXWASHERE
... someone should let him know as he walks back towards the cabins. Please?

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Say Hello [Established CR, Atrium Lounge]

The atrium lounge is a good place to run into others and stop himself from hermiting like he has in the last handful of months. When he spots someone he knows, César stops what he's doing on his tablet and stands, waving.

"Long time no sea!" The worst part about the pun isn't that it's not noticeable but that his player typed it by accident and died inside.

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What's in the Bag? [OTA (see options), Between Laundry and Cabins]

It's César's turn for Laundry Day. Which means he's carrying back neatly folded laundry in a fabric basket made from various Tommy Bahama Shirts with handles from a tote bag. This means that César's made an absolute monstrosity of a laundry basket. Yes, it was done on purpose. Yes, César thinks he's funny.

When he sees someone, he stops walking and smiles warmly.

A. If he knows that someone, he'll great them in a time of day appropriate greeting ("Morning!" "Afternoon!" "Evening!" "Hello!") and ask, whilst meaning it: "How are you today?"

B. If he doesn't know that someone, he'll still greet them appropriately ("Morning!" "Afternoon!" "Evening!" "Hello!") but change it up, instead asking: "Oh, are you new? I'm César Salazar. Are you settling in okay?"

((OOC: The image was done in Paint so liberties were taken as it was made from various Tommy Bahama Shirts.))
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The Morning After Zombie Apocalypse [CLOSED, Backdated, Rich, Johnny, Watson]

The triad dads could've lost Rich. They didn't, but it could've easily gone another way. So all four of them are crammed together into one bedroom, the bed (with Watson and Johnny) and the couch bed (with César and Rich) shoved alongside each other.

César startles awake when Rich kicks him in his sleep sometime in the late morning hours. "Mmmfph?"

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Message Received [Closed to Jinx]

César seeks Jinx out once he's gotten a new t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. He knows where she lives, so he'll walk right into the theatre and call out:

"I got your message!"

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ The only thing César is going to do is very gently and slowly take the box of tissues off the nightstand and put them within reach of Rich. He doesn't seem bothered by what just happened. Concerned, yes. But that's only natural.

César's hands are back in his lap, arms loose, posture relaxed. He's looking at Rich but not directly, more of a side-long glance. Enough to read his expression without laser-focusing on it.]

You're not a pussy. That type of long and messy crying only naturally ends by letting the emotions burn themselves out. Our emotions are stronger, so of course we cry harder. Especially when we've been through something traumatic. It does build up, it really does, and then it seems to take forever to get it all out.

[ He shrugs vaguely, a faint smile on his face. ] Whenever it happens to me, all I can really do is cling to my nearest boyfriend until it's over and try not to ruin his clothes.

[ No embarrassment. It just is. ]

[It's so strange how careful César is with him. He was sure by this point any goodwill he had would be lost. He was sure César would lose his patience or his temper. Anyone would. Everyone had before. Christine never-hurt-a-fly-unless-it-was-a-stage-fight Canigula hadn't even had the energy to deal with him that Halloween night. So how was his roommate managing this?

He wipes his eyes, staring up at César while his fingers carefully tiptoe over to the tissue box.]

You... think that's what it is? It's just... the way my head works? It's just hard to remember how much I cried before everything.

[It's so easy to second-guess himself.]

I guess... at least I didn't cry on you. [He sniffles into a tissue, finally sitting up.]

'm sorry. I'm such a mess.

[Not only is César careful, he's looking at him with gentle affection instead of showing any sign of strain or annoyance.]

It's likely a huge part of it. Especially if you can't remember the last time you had a proper cry.

[Then, he looks at him a little more seriously, his voice growing quieter.]

It's okay; I don't mind. And I don't think you're a mess, Rich. You've been through hell. This was bound to happen eventually, and I expected it. Now was just the moment the stopper got kicked out.

[Rich feels himself tearing up a bit again, but he tries to keep himself under control a little bit longer, just to talk to his father properly.]

I-I wish you didn't think it was bound to happen... even if it made it a little easier for you. I wanted to be better already.

[César's expression is so sympathetic that it almost hurts.]

Nothing about this is easy, mijo. Working through whatever this is—delayed processing?—I'm not a psychologist—isn't going to be easy. Sitting here and now was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. But you're worth it.

[There's no gap between any of those sentences. No hesitation. But afterwards, he takes a moment to simply smile sadly.]

It can't be rushed. But I got through it and so will you. And just like me... you won't have to do this alone. An unconscious part of you understands you're finally emotionally safe. Eventually, the rest of you will feel safe, too.

...To be fair, I guess I've been here on this ship for a couple months. There was probably a while where I was in shock, and now, it's just...

[He bites his lip, but in the end, César had already said it.]

It's just that I feel safe enough to actually process this shit now. With you and Dad and Pa.

[He still ends up finding his face heating up, and he rubs at his eyes for a few moments, trying desperately to compose himself.]

[César nods his agreement.]

It makes sense. [A pause.] I'm going to lie down to make it easier to talk without lording over you.

[And he does, laying down on his back so he's not looking at Rich directly. Oh, he's got a pillow.]

You feel safe enough to feel unsafe in a way that's... safe to experience.

[Rich appreciates that César isn't looming over him, and there might be the softest of smiles on his face when César looks at him. He continues to tug at the pillow in his lap as he processes things.]

When you put it like that, it sounds extra stupid... but yeah. I'm so used to not being safe, so... there were a lot of walls I put up, you know? Guess they finally came down.

[César smiles softly up to Rich.]

Crashing down. Same like mine. It's not stupid... it's how our brains are. We notice the things others don't and thus we end up more vigilant, so it takes us longer to stop doing that, which means we hold it in longer and they burst out stronger.

[César chuckles, looking at Rich knowingly.]

... The emotions you're feeling at this very moment have all but entirely shifted, haven't they? In neurotypical people, feelings supposedly linger and shift more slowly. But it's like we just stop feeling an emotion once we're mostly done with it, unless it's an intrusive one. Just let the emotions wear themselves out."

Y'know... most people would have called me oblivious. I think... I notice a lot of things, but I can't process them at the same time. A lot of times I end up forgetting things that seemed important... that people say are important.

[He searches César's face carefully for another confirmation. Another clarification as to why his brain acts this way.

...At least until César calls him out like that, leaving him nearly laughing in his shock.]

I, um. Sometimes, when I'm really pissed off, or really sad, and it feels like the world is ending... I just get bored of it, I guess. It's like, 'okay, Goranski, we get it, you're a drama king, you can knock it off...' and then I just do."

[ César's certainly nodding along to all of that first part. Yes. Confirmed.

Then he chuckles at Rich nearly laughing.]

Yeah, most people's brains don't work that way. Their brains also try to eject those facts as extraneous. But ours do.

[César flops his hand down near Rich, but still on the bed.]

Speaking of which. If you are still feeling iffy about being touched, now's a time to safely confront it. Exposure therapy. Do whatever you want with my hand, and I won't resist.

We're... definitely not most people.

[It's hard for Rich to know whether or not that upsets him anymore. At this point, César has made being weird... so much less awful than it used to be. He kind of wishes he had met him years ago... though he supposes that wouldn't have fixed anything now.

...Still, it's nice to be understood. He glances down at César's hand, then back up at his adoptive father... before bringing his eyes back down. Carefully, he reaches over, traces an index finger around César's knuckles, one by one.]

And that's okay.

[César does have thoughts about how things could have been different. About how he would've loved to raise Rich from a young age alongside his parents. When Rich still would've been small enough to carry.

What's most important, though, is that Rich is his son now, and that he can help him now. César loves him. Rich isn't sure that he's ready to say that he loves him back, yet. But that's okay. César knows. And even if he didn't, Rich would still be allowed the time he needs.

So he lies there, relaxed and still. Watches patiently as Rich looks to his hand and then up to him (which earns a reassuring smile). César's eyes grow half-lidded and lazy as he feels more than sees Rich tracing his hand.

The one thing that Rich hasn't had in so long is safety. César will fight with all his being to give him a measure of it in this very moment and in all the moments that follow.]

The scars are from making things with my hands, mostly. You'll see more on the inside of my hand.

Edited (I FORGOT THIS IMPORTANT SUBJECT LINE) 2022-10-12 16:34 (UTC)

Maybe... it is okay.

[Maybe it's okay to have so many mixed up thoughts in his head. Maybe it's okay that he's learning to accept himself, even while so many others are accepting the version of him they see clearly.

Maybe it's okay to have a family now... one that he loves dearly, even if he's still working on showing it.

He very carefully picks César's hand up, looking over the scars with quiet interest.]

You have a ton of those...

[He places his palm against César's, measuring how large the man's hand is compared to his, frowning softly.]

Mhmm.

[For Rich, it's a revelation. That his family is okay with him being different and with him needing time to recover from his trials. He's worthy of love.

Which is what's in César's eyes now as he looks up at him, calm and relaxed.]

My world's tech is advanced enough that I chose which ones to keep. Not for sentimental reasons, but for extremely nerdy ones. [A little laugh.] I know the exact measurements between my scars so it saves me from having to pick up a ruler approximately 87% of the time.

... I've never told anyone until now. Not even my boyfriends. Just you.

[There's also the faint scar on his palm he got when he killed Pirate Jenny to fulfill her quest of demonstrating the revival mechanics.]

Edited 2022-10-13 21:37 (UTC)

...Really?

[Rich looks up in surprise, licking his lips as he tries to find the nerves and the vocabulary to ask the right question.]

You kept them for measuring?

[He meant to ask why would you only tell me? but... there's still plenty of anxiety present.

Trying to diffuse it, he takes his hand away, folding César's thumb across his palm and then placing the index, ring, and pinky finger over it.

Of course, the middle finger stays proudly raised.]

[ Rich is still so full of nerves, and he's thinking of how to explain thing when Rich leaves only his middle finger raised. César makes a laugh-snort in the back of his throat, otherwise not moving. ]

I really should have known that was going to happen.

[ Then, as to answer the unsaid questions. ]

... I haven't told anyone because I didn't want to be teased about it. Even your other dads probably would. It's deeply nerdy. Too nerdy, really.

[Rich blinks in surprise, but after a moment of hesitation, he beams.]

I mean, I'm a nasty hormonal teenager. Of course you should have known.

[He then, naturally, raises César's hand up to insert that finger in his nostril. He does pause in his torture then, though, and shakes his head.]

I don't think it's nerdy at all. It's... nice that you got to keep the scars you want.

...When I got here, there was a lady who said she could get rid of my burn scars, if I wanted. I didn't actually know what to think about that. Got in my head for quite a bit about it.

[César snickers as his finger goes up his nose.]

Okay, that one I expected.

[He tilts his head, considering that. It was Tendi, likely.]

Do you want to talk about it?

[Open-ended, unjudging. It must still be bothering Rich if he's bringing it up. It's not all or nothing, either.]

[Rich chuckles softly, but... slowly pulls César's hand away from his nose. He's too nervous to play around now, just tracing each of César's carefully left scars.]

I... don't know why I was so scared of it, exactly. Like, I look like Two-Face. I should want to not look like a discount B movie monster, right? I don't know, I guess... I had already gotten used to the scars being a part of me forever.

[Oh. Those are some uncharitable descriptions. César lets Rich just play with his hand, keeping his muscles relaxed.]

Does it feel like cheating? That people would judge you?

[By the questions alone, César is indicating he wouldn't be one of those people. He hmms.]

Your facial scars bother you the most, right?

People... are already judging me when they see the scars though, aren't they? So really, it'd save me some pity. But... I guess I'd feel guilty. That I wasn't accepting the full punishment I deserved.

[He knows César will say he didn't deserve any punishment. He maybe even knows that his adoptive father is correct in that assessment. But it doesn't stop him from thinking about it, pressing against the lines on César's hand more stubbornly.]

Scars... your scars kinda look like a road map. Mine are more like a topography map or something, whatever you call it. But... it's like they see the direction your life is going and paint it all over your face. I guess I feel like I should own up to that.

[César looks at him thoughtfully, a gentle sort of listening concern. But he's not trying to maintain eye contact. All he's doing is watching Rich's expression to read his feelings correctly.

There's a glance towards his hand, and a faint smile, before he looks back up.]

You don't deserve to be punished for adults' failures. ... And you don't have to get everything 'fixed'. [He does air quotes with his free hand.] But it's really okay to consider it if some of your scars are particularly distressing.

But in the end, whatever you decide is up to you. It's your body. You have a right to be comfortable in it. No matter what, you have my full support. Everything from going together to talk to Tendi to deciding to keep things as is.

[Rich looks up at his roommate, worrying at his lip, seeming to start his sentence multiple times before once again falling silent. Eventually, he does nod, and he takes a deep breath to try to stabilize himself, even as his fingers are still tugging on César's to fold them in on that road map.]

Maybe I'd... have to take a look at my face. I know I probably can't fix the damage to my eye, but it might be nice not to have it get all crusty every morning. And the rest of it... if I wear longer sleeves, I won't have to worry so much about sun damage.

[Still, one of his hands absently reaches out to rub his neck, and the spot just under his ear the burns seem to spiral out from.]

...you don't think... I need the reminder? Like, I don't need the scars to point the way?

[César waits patiently as Rich works through his thoughts, fingers still pliant under his touch. He listens quietly to Rich when he does finally speak. His smile spreads gently across his face.]

I was thinking your face would be good, too. Your beard will grow in even, and you'll be able to comfortably shave or shape your beard. It won't bother you while in the sun, either. Huge quality of life improvement. The rest are manageable to deal with.

We're here for you now, mijo. If you stumble, we'll help you get back on the right path.

5th Contraption || Just Another Day on Horror Cruise

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TWISTS.... KNIFE

;A;

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