come_sailaway | Crew Meeting

[Edward is brilliant, but he couldn't coordinate himself out of a paper bag. That's what Izzy's for. That's always been what Izzy's for. That and general emotional support, staying the path, keeping them on track. General executive function. That's all your problem now, Stede.

But Izzy listens and glances around the room. Watches the handful of people participating and talking and bonding. He sees it and listens some more and thinks about it.

Is it not better that Stede is thought of as an idiot.

Does that make Stede clever?

Izzy doesn't know. He doesn't know and he doesn't fucking like it one fucking bit. You can't just do that to him, you can't just make fucking sense the same way Edward has made sense all these years and then use that to cut his knees out from under him. Fuck you!]

Yeah, well... you'd be amazing how competent I can be when I'm kept in the loop.

... so this.. this is a power move? This is a plan?

There's so much going on it's hard to keep track- hard to know what to do. The moment I seem to get a solid footing, something changes. I'm also not really used to anyone being there for me to tell. [Ed aside]

This is- I don't know. It's normal. It's something to expect. It's a place to breathe. Even if it's foolish. I'm not much good at power moves or plans I'm afraid.

[It's all Izzy can do not to roll his eyes. He succeeds, but only just.]

You have no idea.

[The second half of his sentence is bitten back behind chewed lips.

You have no idea how powerful you are, Stede Bonnet.

He commands the faith and adoration and loyalty of men like it's nothing. He wins them over with stupid pep talks about sharing feelings and flashy displays of his own wealth. He's arrogant and selfish and cruel and green as a spring fucking rose bush and still, still these people gather. It's like a slap in the face to say he doesn't have plans or moves. A slap in the fucking face right over the mark Ed pressed into Izzy's skin all those years ago. X marks the spot. No shit.

Izzy feels his teeth creak from how tight he grinds them. It's just a moment, but it's there all the same before he forces himself to breathe and let it go. Unbelievable.]

You ought to do something about your self confidence. Might sort that out for you.

Careful, Mr. Hands, that sounds dangerously close to a compliment.

[and everyone says he should have one, but being wholly himself never seems to pan out well, especially here.]

And what, do you suggest, do I have to be confident about?

That sounds suspiciously like you're looking for a bootlicking, Mr. Bonnet. I've never know you to lack confidence. If anything, I'd say you were over burdened with it.

Edited 2022-09-27 01:13 (UTC)

No, no. It's as much as I expect. [he had been hoping for a little, but that was most of his problem] Well I don't. What you mistake for confidence is hope that it works. Blind optimism against the face of increasing adversity.

But it feels like if this were something to be confident over, it wouldn't be mocked so much would it?

[God, you really are pathetic, Stede. Izzy rolls his eyes, he doesn't even try not to.]

It's mocked because you're billing all this as playing pirates when you have absolutely no capacity to operate as a pirate on a ship you aren't in control of.

Were you not listening when I told you the Captain can not hurt you? Literally, in the purest sense of the word, you are exempt. That's a fucking gift from me to you.

[He gestures slowly, pointedly, between them as though he were presenting something heart to heart. ]

And you can?

There's lots of things a pirate's not control of. Even in our time. That's why we're pirates, I suppose, to go against the system, to do what we want, be who we are. Even if there are consequences.

[a faint twist of a smile]

Thanks for the gift, but even if I'm exempt doesn't mean other people are. He could hurt anyone close to me. He could hurt anyone here and there would be nothing I could do to stop it.

[Except go after him and he can't hurt you but- god, that isn't Izzy's agenda, anymore. Is it. Seeing as he's just been gone on a mission for the big man.]

Jesus wept, you are such a waste of potential sometimes I swear to god.

[Izzy forces himself to take a breath. Yeah. Fuck it. This feels good.]

You know what? I think I'm done with this. I think I'm done nannying and nursing your bunch. I'm done thinking this could be something. I thought for a moment, the barest glimmering moment, maybe you had the sight. But you don't. So stay here, doing your glitter glue macaroni flags with whatever the fuck that is you've managed to twist my captain into, and the both of you stay out from under my feet, yeah. I've got some big boy work to do.

You know what? Fuck you. You think you always have the right answer to everything. You think you know everything that you're god's gift to pirates.

[he folds his arms tighter. Truth is, he's terrified- but so what? He's been terrified before]

I will be under your feet. I will be in your way every step of the way. I will be so annoying that you'll hate the sight of me more than you already do. Kill me and I'll come back even more annoying.

Go be your 'big boy' self because that's what gets you whatever it is you're looking for that you're never going to find.

[he clicks his tongue and sighs]

But thank you, for what you have done. [because at least he owes him that much]

[Izzy sneers but the thanks at the end is just so fucking jarring. I g n o r i n g the threats. What are you gonna do, give him more shirts.]

So you'll tender my resignation then, yeah. We're done.

What? No. [of course not. Primarily because he wants it] You're still crew whether you like it or not.

You'll never be done with me, Izzy. Even if we live a hundred years.

What!? No! What part of I Quit do you not get. Why the fuck would you want me around?! I don't even work for you!

Why- Because you're the only one here who knows what he's doing that's why. Because you stood with me with the captain, that's why. Because I admire parts of you, but I can't be you, even if I wanted to, even if I tried.

[because Izzy is what a pirate is, but Stede will never be as hard or as sharp as a blade, and for god's sake he knows how to relax.]

Anyway, I don't care if you quit. I don't care what you say. I don't care what you do. [he expects Izzy to be a shit about it and to make him suffer for it, so there won't be any surprises there]

Once you're a part of our crew you're always a part of our crew. Those are the rules. [which he just made up]

[No flag, no country.

What... the actual fucking fuck is he supposed to do with all this information. Emotions visibly shutter across his face and he latches on to the one thing he knows he can pick apart.]

Blackbeard is a proper fucking pirate. I'm sure you two will do just fine without me.

Ed is on holiday. Hiatus at the moment. So you're up. Anyway, you need more than one competent pirate to make a crew- and you work well with Darcy. [too well, but he'll accept that too. It's fine.]

But I appreciate your concern. It's touching. [said without a sarcastic tone but he's nevertheless needling him]

No it isn't. And you'd do wise to keep Darcy's name out of your mouth. You don't deserve her.

And for the record, pirates don't get holidays. No you now what- fuck this-

EDWARD-

[Are we calling across the room now? We are. Whether Ed hears him or not is up to god.]

I QUIT, YEAH? THIS IS IT. RESIGNATION. YOU'VE HEARD IT NOW.

[Ed hears and wanders over, cool and collected on the outside, ready to try to patch this up. These two...can't leave them alone in the same room for one minute. He's probably got a drink in hand because he's on holiday. Dunno what they put in these red and white cans, but it's fizzy and it's amazing.]

Yeah, okay, I heard it. Come on, Iz. You don't mean that. [This is, what? The third time? That he's attempted to tender his resignation?]

What'd Stede do this time?

[he would say Darcy again but then the little bastard is yelling out his eardrums and Ed comes over--cool as you please and confident and then just blames him. True he did do something, but the fact that he's being treated more like a child and less like a co-captain makes his ears burn a little. He doesn't look away petulantly but it's a damn near thing and he's beginning to wonder, after all of this, if all this co-captain business is just Edward just being patronizing.]

[Ignoring that second question, thank you very much.]

No, I mean it. I'm sick and fuckin tired of this. It isn't right. I don't want it. We're done.

Not right? It's a different approach, sure. This isn't really how any of us expected things to go--but here we fucking are, on a ship we're not sailing, making the most of it. Hell, you don't have to be part of the crew meetings if you're not into it. Doesn't mean you have to quit.

[anything he says at this point will only make things worse, but he does nod in agreement. Izzy doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to do. He wonders though if Ed really means it- if this is- well he knows it's a different way of doing things but it doesn't mean it's a good way of doing things. Maybe he can ask him later if he can get up the courage to find out how he really feels]

[It looks like giving up on life to Izzy. That’s what this way looks like. Feels like. He can’t be idle. Can’t do this. Can’t wait around and make friendship bracelets and share and sing and cuddle-]

I mean it, Edward. I’m not built for this.

[Its softer this time. Painful. Earnest. It hurts. No snarling, savage anger. He isn’t planning on pissing off for a week before crawling back into his rightful place.]

You don’t need me anymore and I’ve got work to do, so we’re done.

[It's numbing. Rather like standing on the crest of a wave as it washes down, breaks into the ocean. The end of a thing blending into the beginning of another; change is hard. Ed chose change, pursued the idea of something new and different because his heart just wasn't in it lately. And this is an extension of that. This is the new not reconciling with the old. And he'll have to accept that.

Besides, he still maintains that being aggressively, deliberately happy is the way to combat their situation. Mutiny will not work in the conventional sense. But what does he know.

Maybe he is giving up on life. At least on the life he had built himself--the one Izzy wants and the one Stede is chasing. He's exhausted with the routine. Exhausted. He wants to be someone new, be reinvented. He cannot fall back on the life he led before.

He'll be sore and displaced for a while; failure always hits hard. Rejection always hits hard. Even those he's brought upon himself. But Ed survives...for better or worse. He'll come to accept--and what he cannot accept he will just...compartmentalize. ]

Done. ...Right.

[He nods, letting a neutral mask fall over any sad, grim thoughts, and puts out his hand to shake.]

See you've made up your mind then. But this doesn't have to be final--and it doesn't have to mean we can't still work together when necessary.

Wish you luck, mate.

[oh...no... no this isn't what he wanted at all. He... he had just been a fool, trying to throw his weight around when really the had none to begin with. He shouldn't have interfered.

Maybe he should be the one leaving the situation- or at least not be insulting to-- to something Izzy cared a great deal about but he was kind of trapped ash he was. And he knew Ed was tired and he didn't want to leave him with no one. Still if it hadn't been for him, it probably wouldn't have turned out this way. They would probably still be together as they had for a long time.

For now though he's not going to say anything and just-- just quietly remove himself from the situation. Let them do what they need to do in peace and privacy. He needs to think about some things too. The game has already gone on long enough perhaps.]

(no subject)

ninetoes - 2022-09-29 00:28 (UTC) - Expand