come_sailaway | ☽ It takes a monster to destroy a monster

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☽ It takes a monster to destroy a monster

Who: Ebalon & All Y'all
What: Ebalon blows himself up with a portal. There is an ensuing tantrum when he comes back to life.
When: 10/6 (initial explosion); 10/9 (everything else)
Where: The Atrium, Promenade, Ebalon's Cabin, & Sports Deck
Warnings: Unintentional death by explosions, gore & gross descriptions, general violence, Ebalon being himself

[Mid-afternoon, an explosion originating from the atrium rings out loud and clear. Though it isn't enough to rock the ship, small in nature as it is, it is enough to leave a sizeable hole in the middle of the floor, where one might fall through if they aren't careful. Lying wedged into the partially-destroyed floor are the smouldering, red-hot remnants of a portal frame, the top half entirely missing, though if one looks hard enough they might find the shrapnel lying some hundreds of feet off. Next to it, hanging precariously on the edge and about to drop into the hole, is a torso-sized, faceted white crystal. It pulses brightly once, twice, and finally fades out.

...

Somewhere on the promenade, a shower of blood and offal rains down from above, bits of torn intestines and strands of stark white hair decorating the brightly-lit strip.]

Cabin 101 - Closed to Established CR

[The door to Ebalon's cabin is open on the 9th.

It's a semi-open invitation to come talk to him. "Hey, how are you doing, sorry you died" or "hey fuckface we told you that wouldn't work" or "what the fuck were you thinking", something to that effect. If he doesn't like you, there's a high chance he'll turn you away at the door.

Ebalon is sitting at his desk, furiously scrawling something into his notebook on a page dated "10/07". Sitting atop it is that large, white crystal spotted at one of two initial crime scenes, recovered and scratched and as inert as the day he received it. He had managed to temporarily charge it long enough to power the portal, but in its current state, it is — again — useless to him.

Annoyed and yet again throwing himself into his work to avoid the tumultuous emotions stirring in his chest, Ebalon taps his pen against the inert Moon El, looking more frustrated than anything right about now. More concerning than his expression might be the visible corruption on his face and neck almost the colour of a bruise, etched with a bright blue motherboard pattern. That same pattern appears on both hands, though Ebalon very clearly is making his best attempt to ignore it.

He hardly looks up as you enter. Unless your name is Mizuki, and then he's immediately getting up from his chair for an embrace.]

Sports Deck - OTA

[Chagrin can only be ignored for so long before it festers like a gangrenous wound.

Ebalon makes his way to the sports deck, staff clutched tightly in his left hand while his spellbook floats after him at a brisk pace, pages fluttering in the breeze. It's late, just a bit before midnight on the night of the full moon, and he's in no mood to talk to any fellow night-owls on his way. In fact, talking to him in general is likely a bad idea (though you're always welcome to try), given that his first action upon arriving at his destination is to easily and effortlessly obliterate a part of the court with a shower of black-coloured magic. A crest flares at his back, glowing an ominous purple.

One failed idea after another. A permanent cycle of living aboard this ship. The inability to do a single thing about not only his own situation, but the situations of the people here stuck with him. Helpless, hopeless, useless, how can a man like him become someone else's toy?!

White-hot fury reaches a boiling point. With a sudden, jerky motion, he swings his staff wide and points it at the odd, ball-shaped tower nearby, eradicating it entirely with a single moonbeam. It does little to sate him, and, in fact, he thinks he might just be up for destroying this entire section of the ship. And more, perhaps!

Why not just cast them all into oblivion for eternity? It's all they're going to get at this rate! Why not give up? Give in? Spill blood as much as he wants, because it's not like any of this matters anyhow!

Ebalon takes a deep breath, tilting his head back to look at the moon. A short reprieve, as he distantly wonders if he can possibly get to the ship's engines and blow them up. If it would stick. If permadeath is better than an eternity constrained to servitude.

With a deep, exhausted sigh, his attacks continue.]

Wildcard
[Sorry I only have two prompts here, please feel free to wildcard something if these don't work for you. Ebalon is usually spotted in the library or Hurikane these days if you want to talk to him somewhere else!]

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[The joke is indeed on him, but Mizuki is getting swept into that embrace anyway, corrupted hands clutching his lover so tight he thinks it might be Mizuki being suffocated for once. The tentacles and the, well, Mizuki in general, are all so comforting and familiar that it almost feels like he didn't explode into a spray of gore at all.

(His flesh still burns when he thinks about it. Tearing, searing pain, muscles and skin ripped from bone, his vision sliding in two different directions while his eyeballs melted out of his skull—)

Ebalon runs a hand through Mizuki's hair, twirling it between his fingers as he always does.]

I'm alright. [No. He's not alright. There's a tumultuous storm brewing in his chest, but at least there's relief in the fact that he can feel Mizuki's emotions again. That hasn't changed, at least.] I promise you, I'm alright.

[No, nope, no matter how hard he tries, the Henir corruption from his real form is bleeding through Harque's disguise. His hands shake around Mizuki, but whether from fear or upset, he can't tell. Maybe it's both.]

[ Mizuki ends up just rubbing his face into Ebalon's chest, perhaps to nuzzle him, or perhaps to shake his head "no". Perhaps even both. But it's the only response Ebalon gets as Mizuki finds a hard time to find his voice. His mouth opens and closes like a real fish for a moment, little shaky breaths being the only thing to come out. It's funny, he's had this conversation before that he needs to just accept that death comes cheap here. He's had the conversation that he needs to come to terms that he needs to not get so torn up about it, else it might drive him crazy. He thought he was getting better about it, what with Venti's death over a month ago, but… it's different to physically feel it, isn't it? To feel that pain, and furthermore, to feel his soul being split apart yet again.

To put it simply, it was overwhelming. But more than that, at the end of it, the worst part wasn't the pain, or the soul splitting, or even knowing something had happened to Ebalon, but rather the fact that he wasn't there to help. Wasn't there to protect Ebalon. Wasn't there to stop all that pain. And then the worst thing just got even worse when Ebalon wasn't back the next day. He doesn't want Ebalon to know how sick he felt thinking that he wouldn't come back, or thinking that his "forever" had been cut far too short. He's here now, he doesn't have to think about that. ]

You died. [ His voice cracks. ] Don't you dare say you're alright, that's bullshit. [ Even if they weren't sharing emotions, even Mizuki could tell that much. ] …I was so scared I wasn't ever going to see you again.

Come now, I wouldn't leave you after only one day.

[Ha! Haha!! That's funny! What a cool joke!

Ebalon takes the opportunity to sweep Mizuki fully into the room and shut the door. Open house over, he's got a boyfriend to console. To curl around. To drag over to his bed and put in his lap and lean his forehead against. His sweet, sweet Mizuki...]

I apologise. I didn't think... [Beat.] I didn't think. I was trying to test the portal, despite hearing it might be a fruitless endeavour. It was only meant to take me from the atrium to the promenade.

[Technically, it fulfilled that! The thing fucking worked! Unfortunately, pocket dimension laws state that "working" comes with the consequence of "exploding horribly". Three months of work, all for naught. Something bitter mixes into their emotional connection, weak, but present all the same.

He's tired. He's so, so tired. All of that time researching portals through journalistic accounts Friday had handed him, to building one, to getting the fucking Moon El powered, and all of it wound up serving no purpose other than to kill him. It's proof that the situation is as hopeless as he feared.]

It's been three. [ Just going to rip that band-aid off. Realistically, it serves a purpose, to tell Ebalon that something's wrong, and also let him know that if there's any more death that happens that he shouldn't be surprised if it takes a while for people to appear again. But in the moment, Mizuki isn't saying it to be helpful. It's from a place of hurt, and a place where Mizuki wants Ebalon to understand just how long he's been hurting. Natsuno had come back after three days, too, and that had given him some hope after the despair, but that didn't make that anxiety and fear go away.

But, as always, Mizuki is easy to move around, and easy to sit with, so soft and light and going back to his usual mannerisms like nothing had really been wrong to begin with. Well, aside from the tears spilling down his face anyway. He makes little attempt to stop them. ]

Y-you should have… told me. O-or let me help you or… tested it somehow without you being the dummy! You're not alone in these things anymore, you know??

It's been—

[Three. Three days. And in that time, his hunch he got on the 1st when he started breaking things in the hall appears to be confirmed — nothing on the ship repairs itself. That hole in the atrium would've fixed itself in less than one day, and yet when he went by it to recover the Moon El, it was still present. (And who knows if any kindly volunteers decided to clean up his blood or anything like that.)

Ebalon does that thing he does when he's upset and can't start pacing, which is to flop back onto the bed. This time, he doesn't take Mizuki down with him, but instead splays his arms out to either side of him and stares up at the ceiling with something of a baffled expression.

Three days. The regeneration time for the passengers increased to three days, the ship and items aboard it won't repair, and... and Mizuki is hurting so none of that scientific, observational mumbo-jumbo actually matters right now.]

[Blue eyes flick to Mizuki's expression as his shock is momentarily pushed aside. He focuses on how Mizuki feels, both in the physical sense of sitting on his lap and in the more emotional sense, and then sits up on his elbows. Somehow, he's not motivated enough to fully resume sitting up.]

I didn't expect that result. Had I asked someone else to assist me, I would have blood on my hands, and my reputation is already suffering. I cannot afford to be blamed for more death.

[Oh, but he's about to singlehandedly cause more of it, because somewhere in his state of Dissociating To Focus Only On Mizuki, he's beginning to realise that none of this matters.

Death doesn't stick.

He can do whatever he wants.

Who cares? Who cares who cares who cares who cares—]

It had moved objects perfectly fine when I sent furniture through it. I thought... [he holds his head in his hand,] I thought it might— [Not important.] I wouldn't subject you to that danger.

[ Well, it's good to hear that Ebalon didn't just throw himself in before tossing in inanimate objects, but that doesn't make Mizuki any less upset about it. Portals like this always still need some sort of vehicle or protective gear to travel through it his reality? Why would Ebalon think something like this would work without more tests? Without more time? It's not like they're running out of that anytime soon. Skulduggery had even said they might not even be stuck here. He can't understand why Ebalon feels so hopeless when this is, perhaps, the most hopeful news Mizuki's heard.

It takes him a moment, but he finally leans forward to push Ebalon back onto the bed so he can just lie on top of him and curl up. He doesn't understand. It doesn't make sense. He wants to be mad, he wants to berate Ebalon, but he also just wants to exist here and try to provide whatever he has in the way of physical comfort. ]

What makes it okay that you're in danger, then? As if I'd want you to do something that would hurt you like that? I love you so, so much, Dantalion. I-I can't… [ Hands finally go over his face as the tears get a little more relentless. ] What if he decides to get rid of that whole death thing? What if he gets bored and decides to make it permanent for fun?

What if I lose you for good?

[His logic is at war with his heart. It's an odd thing to say for someone such as Ebalon, who only very recently developed a sense of caring at all — historically, he's thrown things or people out that didn't work. Left Order members to die when they did something stupid. Threw away the Masters when they wore out their usefulness to him. This, too, is a case where he'd normally throw it all away. I don't need this anymore. What's the point of keeping it? It's something he so often said before he cared. It would be easier to hope that the Captain lets them all die for good.

After all, the "real" version of him is back on Elrios. He's still doing the things he wanted to do. So why does "this" version matter? He's not himself. He's just an image of it, frozen in time.

And yet, the stupid, love-struck part of him is attached. Attached to Mizuki, wanting to take him home or, since that's off the table, at least sweep him away to another reality. He can still do that. He can figure that out, take them somewhere else, ~~get rid of every little problem plaguing him,~~ live without logic vice-gripping every single decision he makes.

If I give up here, I'll never have him again.

Does it matter? It isn't as though the real me knows about him.

You promised him, Dantalion, you promised him you would spend eternity together. Why are you giving up?

Ebalon breathes a short sigh and rolls over onto his side, taking Mizuki with him. With an arm draped over his waist, Ebalon draws Mizuki to his chest and rests his chin against Mizuki's head. There's some foreign feeling manifesting that he can't quite put a name to. Something that makes him feel like he's choking, that his chest is too tight to breathe.

He squeezes his eyes shut.]

You won't, nae sarang, I promise you that much. I promised you eternity. Didn't I?

[Why keep trying if we're consigned to unwanted oblivion?

For him. Persist for his sake.]

[ Mizuki's tendrils tightly squeeze Ebalon where his arms can't, as the strength seems to have been knocked out of them entirely. In fact, all they can do is loosely hang around Ebalon as his fists just hold onto his robes until his knuckles turn white. Ebalon can't promise that. Mizuki knows that much. If he does leave, it's not his choice. But it's still so nice to hear. ]

We… [ Sniff. ] We'll be okay. Skulduggery said there's a way the Captain can free us and we can… we can figure things out from there. We'll traverse the void like Miss Jenny i-if we have to, okay?

…

I'll make sure we're okay.

[ Because it's not just Ebalon who promised eternity to him. Mizuki had to Ebalon, too. And he hasn't done anything to help with their situation, though, and it's about time he had. Even if that just meant trying to keep in the loop as much as he could about the goings on about the ship. Or even if it meant sucking up his emotions to talk to the Captain himself.

Whatever the case, all that matters it that Ebalon is here. With him And he's going to do everything he can to keep it that way. ]

Edited 2022-10-02 06:35 (UTC)

[When he opens his eyes, they feel a little wet, and Ebalon's gut instinct is to think he's dying again. That his eyes are turning into mush or something, just like when he exploded.

Except he doesn't die, and he's just laying in bed with Mizuki, so. It's... fine? He's fine. A little freaked the fuck out, though.]

Shouldn't I be saying that to you? [His voice is extremely weak. Tired. Ugh, he's so fucking tired.] I'm doing this for us. Not the dying portion, but all the research and planning. I so desperately wish for us to escape and be somewhere else.

...

I'm furious that it won't be home, admittedly. I loathe hopeless situations like this one, and I despise being a toy for another, and I can normally get out of tough scenarios with barely a wave of my hand...

[He's babbling now. Useless, half-hearted but angry babbling.]

[ Again, Mizuki shakes his head, picking it up briefly to place a very small peck against Ebalon's chin. He had no idea it would bother Ebalon so much, honestly. He didn't think Ebalon was as attached to home as he was — which, looking back, is foolish of Mizuki. He had been so set on "mashing the two Ebalon's together if he had to" and such. Even despite Mizuki's doubts, he was determined. This must've hurt him so much. He must feel that very same despair that Mizuki felt when he thought Ebalon and Natsuno were both gone for good.

After a brief moment, he reaches a hand up to comb through Ebalon's hair, fresh tears stinging his eyes. He doesn't want Ebalon to feel like that. Ever. ]

It's okay. You have me. Things might be hard, but I'll be right here, and we're gonna work through it together, alright? And then, when we're finally out of here, we can say that we ended the Captain's disgusting cycle a-and no one has to go through that stuff anymore.

And who knows, maybe once we're free of the Captain's hold, maybe we can figure out how to get to Elrios from there, b-but until then… can you be happy just… with me?

[Perhaps it's not so much that Ebalon misses home as he had wanted to take Mizuki back to the Order — both to keep Mizuki forever and give him everything he's ever wanted, and to complete the mission set forth by the Order. His dreams of destroying entire worlds with Mizuki in the name of Henir haven't yet ended, even if the ship is putting a major strain on it.

The idea that he's still doing what the real Ebalon intended to do is... fine. That's fine, it means everything back home is going according to plan. It means that they feasibly could escape to other realities and he'd be comfortable living out eternity somewhere else. Maybe he can make his own pocket dimension? It can't be that hard, right? Maybe that's where he should put his attention next. Make the portal bring them to another dimension. He could pry the coordinates to them from Jenny's head easily enough.

Take down the barrier around this dimension. Get out. Go somewhere with Mizuki. He could make up an entire life for them with his mind magic, artificial memories for the both of them. He could make them so, so happy.

Ebalon inclines his head toward Mizuki's hand, quickly smooching his wrist before settling back down.]

My happiness with you was always assured. You're all I've ever wanted, you know. More than going back to Elrios, even if I'm disappointed in this current reality. I was always intending to be happy only with you.

But I need you to be safe as well. That isn't guaranteed here. The portal should have worked. It should have the ability to transport a sentient being out of this dimension and into another one, where you and I can be safe forevermore. It shouldn't have failed. Yet it did.

[ Jokes on Ebalon, everything he's ever wanted is right here on this fuckin' boat. He wishes he could state as much to Ebalon, but he's not so sure he knows how to convey how he's feeling in words alone. He doesn't think there's a string of words strong enough that ever existed that could do so thoroughly. And even though he knows they share their emotions now, it still doesn't feel like it's enough. Especially now, when all of Mizuki's love and adoration is muddled with pain.

He died. Mizuki wasn't there. He didn't come back. He's here now, but what if he doesn't next time? It's so many scary thoughts and Mizuki doesn't want to think about them, but his anxiety won't let it go. ]

Th-that's… it's not… [ A hiccup silences that train of thought, and he tries to think of what to say with a sniff. ] I know… things are rough, but… if we work with the o-others, S-Skulduggery assured me he knows we… c-can all get out of here.

[ And it isn't that he thinks a portal is a stupid idea, or that Ebalon shouldn't try to figure things out or anything. On the contrary, Mizuki thinks Ebalon to be the smartest person on the ship. But he also doesn't want anything bad happening to him. Him being safe and with Mizuki is the only thing he cares about at the end of the day. ]

[Urgh...

Alright. Ebalon shakes off his own feelings about the situation (the portal should've worked, why didn't it work, he wasn't even trying to leave, it was a test run, what did he miscalculate—) and curls tighter around Mizuki. This time, though, instead of keeping his chin on top of Mizuki's head, he yet again bonks their foreheads together.]

I apologise for leaving you. [There's no "I had no idea it would be a long death" or "I didn't think that would happen" or anything like that this time. Ebalon draws his fingers across Mizuki's back in comforting little circles, though as usual, he tends to stay where the pact mark is.] I know I broke my promise to you from many moons ago where I said I would not do anything reckless anymore, and I apologise for that as well. Would you find it in your heart to forgive me? If not now, then one day.

[ For what it’s worth, Mizuki knows that Ebalon couldn’t have known this would happen. He doesn’t truly blame him for it, even if in the moment it might seem so. But he’s angry? He’s scared. He’s processed his grief so poorly and now that Ebalon is back and here and alive, he doesn’t know what to do with these emotions.

At least he’s doing marginally better now than before. At least now he’s having the appropriate response of bawling his eyes out and being afraid. Before, though? He hadn’t processed anything well. Maybe losing a piece of his soul made him a little crazy. Maybe he has the thought to “join” Ebalon. Maybe he pulled chunks of flesh from the blast site to shove in his mouth in hopes it might fill that void. Maybe it made him sick afterwards.

He whimpers slightly, trying to console Ebalon here the best he can. He was the one who died, after all. He was the one who had to go through all that alone. Mizuki shouldn’t have to be consoled. Mizuki had it so much better than Ebalon did. Yet it doesn’t feel like it. And that’s a miserable thought to have, too. ]

I… I forgive you. I just… I really did think I’d never see you again. And I kept thinking a-about what I’m to do without you [ hiccup. ] and I don’t want to. I need you here. I need you, Dantalion.

[ Dependency is totally healthy, right? ]

Edited 2022-10-04 05:54 (UTC)

[Totally healthy! Ebalon sees no problems here other than the fact that Mizuki is upset. As always, he finds that his hand naturally navigates its way to Mizuki's hair, twirling strands around his fingers and smoothing them through it from time to time. His poor dear...]

I need you, too, Mizuki. However can I make this up to you? [He asks quietly, though he thinks he might have an answer, and so he adds,] I'll make another effort to avoid doing something reckless like that in the future, and you'll have a say on whatever my next project is as well. No using myself as a test dummy.

[He doesn't know if he can promise not to be stupid and reckless and scientific about things, but at least he can remind himself to not walk face-first into a glowing portal and go "it's fine". If he doesn't come back... well, he wouldn't know, and he's be fine. But Mizuki? Mizuki got to feel Ebalon dying. It must have been a brief flash of panic and fear from his end before silence, and that's to say nothing of their souls...

His free hand reaches up to thumb away at Mizuki's tears.]

[ Mizuki has spent too much time grieving these past few days, so while he's very choked up now, there isn't too much for Ebalon to wipe away. He's so tired. Of crying, but also in general. He had really, truly thought that Ebalon and Natsuno were just gone. That they weren't coming back. That Mizuki had once again lost his "family" and there was nothing he could do about it. He felt weak. And god does he hate feeling weak. Last time he's had to deal with such immense grief, he tortured some pirates about it.

He can't really do that this time around, even if the idea of it still sounds a little fun. At least right now he feels… better…? It's hard to tell, since he still doesn't feel great. But… he's going to take all these promises to heart, and he's going to lean against Ebalon again and try to hold him tighter, despite how noodly his arms feel right now. Are his bones there? The world may never know. ]

I'll… hold you to it, then. If you break your promise, I won't forgive you.

[ Possessive, possessive, possessive… ]

You can't leave me. Not ever.

[As much of a hell week this has been (a statement he will make with his whole chest even though he was dead for 3 out of 7 days of it), at least nothing has changed with how very pleased those possessive emotions make him feel. It's an equally-matched possessiveness, the desire to curl around Mizuki and never let him go, especially after all of that. Especially knowing that the only person he has, that he'll ever have, is Mizuki.]

I'll never leave you. You know that, yes? [He leans down to kiss Mizuki's forehead.] My intent is to get us out of here alive. I promised you grand adventures, after all, and I'm not the sort of man who breaks a promise.

[S...sort... of.]

Especially not to you. I'll stay by your side for as long as you'll have me. [And longer! He can simply rewire Mizuki's brain if Mizuki ever wants to be rid of him. This is a healthy and normal thing to think about your partner.] That said, if you wouldn't mind... would you spend the rest of the day with me? I'd like to make up for the days we lost.

[ Mizuki calms, nuzzling against Ebalon at his returned feelings as if they're validating, instead of something to be worried about. There's a moment where it seems Mizuki is going to fall asleep, as he is known to do after huge emotional drain. Surprise, Ebalon, you didn't miss much these past few days. Just crying and sleeping, mostly. Some tantrums. Lots of shoving crab legs in his mouth.

You know. Fun stuff…

But he picks his head up at his question with a bit of confusion. ] …? Did you think I wasn't going to make you stay with me?? [ Hello????? Anything else was never a fucking option??????? ]

Not at all, but I didn't know if you had something you wished to take care of.

[You know. Something with Mizuki's other friends, or maybe he's hungry or something and doesn't want to deal with Ebalon and his... depression. Depression-adjacent emotions, anyway. He'll find his next hyperfixation (wanton destruction) and move on pretty quickly.]

Now. [He wraps his arms around Mizuki and flips them, so that Mizuki is laying on top of Ebalon and Ebalon can stare into his eyes and admire them, even if they're red and puffy from crying. Those pretty blue rings of his...] How can I make you smile again?

[ Well, he gave Natsuno an earful yesterday, so it's Ebalon's turn now. ]

I'm… too tired to smile, I think… [ He's feeling the "drained" emotion mostly. Not that that's an unusual one that comes around. Emotional lows that always proceed after emotional highs…

But there is one thing that's still bothering him. ]

Are you… really here? I didn't just… go mad and make this up because I couldn't deal with the grief anymore, right? [ He wouldn't put a psychotic break past him, honestly. ]

...I'm here. I know part of me doesn't look like me, [he steals a glance at his hands, hidden carefully behind Mizuki's back,] but I promise you that it is.

[At the very least, he's able to feel Mizuki's emotions again. That, at least, didn't change; he has to wonder what it must've been like to feel totally empty for three days, though. It's not that Ebalon has a lot of strong emotions all the time, but there's always something there — some scientific curiosity or niggling question or whatever emotion "workaholic" registers as.]

I don't think I'm so easy to get rid of.

…Okay.

[ Sounds like something a figment of his imagination would say! Mizuki just wants to sleep for now, though. Maybe by the time he wakes up, he'll feel better. He's just been so devasted these past few days, he wants it to stop. He wants to smile again. He wants to make others happy again.

So, who's going to get mad at him if he just curls into Ebalon and holds him with several of his tentacles to make sure he doesn't leave and just passes out for the next 14 hours? ]

[Well, Ebalon certainly won't be, although he's really wanting to go throw himself into his work again. But, uh.

It seems... that will not be a thing. Because Mizuki is, presumably, out cold within a few minutes, and he'd hate to wake Mizuki up when he's having a rough time.

...

Ebalon kisses Mizuki's forehead and gets comfortable. He'll pass out within the hour out of boredom, at the very least, and that's probably as good as it's gonna get. Considering his sleep schedule, though, he needs it.]

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☽ It takes a monster to destroy a monster

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cw: suicide ment. cannibalism.

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