SecUnit (Murderbot) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
serialskiller) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
come_sailaway2022-10-04 06:47 am
serialskiller) wrote in come_sailaway2022-10-04 06:47 am
[OTA] All My Demons Greeting Me as a Friend
Who: Murderbot and You
When: Post Info Meeting, Post Muppets
Where: All over the place!
Summary: Critical failure to cope
Warnings: Discussion of slavery, exploitation of sentient beings, capitalism, death all likely here.
1. And I was runnin' far away [STELLAR DINING ROOM]
With no food being served in the dining room, there's no reason anyone is going to be there, so it's where a Murderbot hides while breaking down, while breaking apart internally. Those who regularly check in on it will find their messages returned unopened, because...look. It's too much. It's all too much.
2. Would I run off the world someday? [ANYWHERE PUBLIC]
As sense returns, Murderbot realizes others will be in similar broken states, emotionally. For the first time since Jinx expanded its drone fleet, it's going to be flying them all at once, trying to seek out those who have hidden away, those who need company but not people. Don't be surprised if a drone just comes and hovers near your character, listening and saying nothing. It means well, really it does.
A few of the drones do have speakers, though, so if you attempt to engage it in a conversation, you'll get that.
3. Nobody knows, nobody knows [ADULT POOL]
While not the same sort of Event the Muppets showing, there's a couple times early in October that the projector over the Adult Pool will inexplicably be showing episodes of The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. If someone looks for the source of this, they'll notice MB up by the projector itself, its media player auxed into the projector.
You know. Good calming relaxing material. Right?
4. And I was dancing in the rain [SAND DOLLARS]
Finally, coming back to itself, trying to figure out a path forward, Murderbot...it finds itself wanting to having something to hold onto of its crew that it now knows it'll never see again. Find it hiding in a closed cafe, where no one will look for company, surely. Find it with the one photograph it has of the PreservationAux survey team and its watercolors, trying desperately to capture the faces it has in memory and the personalities that go with it. A young woman with black hair and sharp eyes, looking like she's arguing about something. A motherly older woman with deep skin, smiling like she's proud of the viewer. A man with pale eyes and visible augmentations along one side of his face, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. Another man, a man too pretty for his own good, reaching out a tentative hand, compassion written across his face.
The paintings, they aren't enough to capture the personalities, but it has to try, it has to do something, it has to hold onto these people. Memories can be erased, but it wants the people it loves down on paper, for others to see.
5. I felt alive and I can't complain [WILDCARD]
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darkersolstice or darkersolstice#9463 to plot
When: Post Info Meeting, Post Muppets
Where: All over the place!
Summary: Critical failure to cope
Warnings: Discussion of slavery, exploitation of sentient beings, capitalism, death all likely here.
1. And I was runnin' far away [STELLAR DINING ROOM]
With no food being served in the dining room, there's no reason anyone is going to be there, so it's where a Murderbot hides while breaking down, while breaking apart internally. Those who regularly check in on it will find their messages returned unopened, because...look. It's too much. It's all too much.
2. Would I run off the world someday? [ANYWHERE PUBLIC]
As sense returns, Murderbot realizes others will be in similar broken states, emotionally. For the first time since Jinx expanded its drone fleet, it's going to be flying them all at once, trying to seek out those who have hidden away, those who need company but not people. Don't be surprised if a drone just comes and hovers near your character, listening and saying nothing. It means well, really it does.
A few of the drones do have speakers, though, so if you attempt to engage it in a conversation, you'll get that.
3. Nobody knows, nobody knows [ADULT POOL]
While not the same sort of Event the Muppets showing, there's a couple times early in October that the projector over the Adult Pool will inexplicably be showing episodes of The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. If someone looks for the source of this, they'll notice MB up by the projector itself, its media player auxed into the projector.
You know. Good calming relaxing material. Right?
4. And I was dancing in the rain [SAND DOLLARS]
Finally, coming back to itself, trying to figure out a path forward, Murderbot...it finds itself wanting to having something to hold onto of its crew that it now knows it'll never see again. Find it hiding in a closed cafe, where no one will look for company, surely. Find it with the one photograph it has of the PreservationAux survey team and its watercolors, trying desperately to capture the faces it has in memory and the personalities that go with it. A young woman with black hair and sharp eyes, looking like she's arguing about something. A motherly older woman with deep skin, smiling like she's proud of the viewer. A man with pale eyes and visible augmentations along one side of his face, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. Another man, a man too pretty for his own good, reaching out a tentative hand, compassion written across his face.
The paintings, they aren't enough to capture the personalities, but it has to try, it has to do something, it has to hold onto these people. Memories can be erased, but it wants the people it loves down on paper, for others to see.
5. I felt alive and I can't complain [WILDCARD]
no subject
no subject
"A surgeon? You must have trusted them a great deal." Dimitri assumes it means combat injury; cosmetic surgery isn't even a possibility in his mind. "What are they like?"
no subject
Sorry, ART.
no subject
"A ship's captain? A ... 'bot'? Do you mean a construct, like yourself?"
no subject
Right, it makes sense that Dimitri wouldn't be familiar.
no subject
"And it's an asshole, you say?" Dimitri chuckles. "I've known a few. Though I can't imagine what kind of asshole a ship would be."
He pauses and rests his cheek on his crossed arms.
" ... I miss them, too."
no subject
And Murderbot has a lot of feelings about it.
"Who is it that you miss?"
no subject
He could talk about anyone. His friends. His classmates. His professors. The few people he'd been able to trust back at home in Fhirdiad. But there's really only one answer to SecUnit's question; one person out of all of them whose absence is a raw and freshly-bleeding hole in his heart.
"The person this quilt belonged to. Belongs. The one who made these repairs. His name is Dedue. He's my -- my -- " fuck it, it's not like it matters, like it ever will matter if the Goddess has any mercy at all -- "my closest friend. The closest thing to family I have. We survived something terrible together, and ... for a long time he was the only person I could trust.
"You'd like him, I think. He's quiet. Shy. Gifted with his hands. A skilled gardener, and a talented cook. Slow to trust, with good reason, but unfathomably caring to those who earn it. The gentlest soul I've ever known. And strong -- stronger than anyone should ever have to be. Someone I'm proud to know ... to have known. Even if ... "
Dimitri hunches in on himself, tugging the quilt closer around his shoulders.
" ... there are things I wish I could tell him. Questions I'll never get to ask, let alone have answers to."
no subject
So.
"He sounds...like a good person to have in your life. I'm sure there's some proper human thing to say. 'Cherish the time you had with him' or something. I don't know the right words. I just know he sounds like he was good. The type of person you need."
no subject
He falls silent, resting his chin on his crossed wrists.
After a long silence, he says, slowly, "I think ... the people we're with make us ourselves, as much as we do. When they're gone, we carry them with us. The memories we keep, and the ways they changed us. And -- we don't leave them, either."
That one's hard, a thought forced out like sand through a crack. He pushes it past his teeth, because he needs to; needs to believe that some part of him is back at home with the people he loves, that being taken here doesn't mean he's left them behind.
"I understand needing to be alone. I do. But ... when I tried it -- it didn't hurt any less until someone else found me to listen. To help." Dimitri folds himself in a little tighter. "So I'm here. To help. If you want. And talking altogether too much."
He's going to shut up now.
no subject
But it doesn't believe in being helped, in getting help. In help being something it's allowed to accept. In some ways, it's the snapping jaws of a coyote with its leg caught in a trap. It would rather gnaw its own leg off than allow gentle hands to come remove the trap.
no subject
"I don't know." Hard, painful words Dimitri's adding to his vocabulary. He shrugs off the blanket, tries his best to fold it, and sets it down in front of them. SecUnit can pick it up, if it wants. "But I have to try. I'm here, unless and until you want me to leave."
They have time. They have nothing but time. Dimitri can sit here, quiet and still, until that trapped, snarling animal realizes he's not a threat.
no subject
It doesn't move at all.
It's tired, so very tired, in a way no blanket will help.
"I don't know what I want. Or what I don't want."
no subject
Dimitri can't offer any answers. It's not his business to tell anyone what they want. It's so far from being his business that the thought of doing so is an active terror.
He's always known what he wanted. What he needed. What would set the world to rights. Now it's gone and he's falling, flailing, casting out for the slightest thing that feels like an anchor.
"Do you know what you need? What would make the next day or week easier?"