come_sailaway | winning, but at what cost

Entry tags:

original: ylva wolfsdottir

winning, but at what cost

Who: Ylva and any concerned parties?
What: Ylva got in a fight with a cat, and now she's off to lick her wounds.
When: mid-to-late October, before the party, after this altercation with Siffleur
Where: The buffet
CW: Some blood and wound talk.

She won. The important thing is that she won.

Or so Ylva keeps telling herself. She's tougher than she looks, and can take a lot of punishment, but she can't stop thinking about some of the things Siffleur said to her before she shook him in her jaws like an errant pup and told him he wasn't worth killing. It isn't often that she is mocked for her very-canine-desire to be appreciated and trusted, to be liked, and he's just a stupid cat and cats are always by themselves, he's wrong and she knows he's wrong, but why does it bother her?

She never did ask his name.

At any rate, here she is in Windjammer's, in a far corner with a plate of dino nuggets, a large slab of meatloaf, and a large pile of raspberries. At the moment, though, she has her shirt pulled up, running her hand over the wounds on her side. The cuts close behind the touch of her hand, the flesh knitting back together into some bright pink scars, though her blood remains. Sighing, she takes some of the huge pile of paper napkins and, wincing a little, starts wiping herself clean.

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Ylva's healing magic is a lot more subtle than what Dimitri knows. He's on edge and exhausted, and he's dealt with two and a half deaths already this month; when he passes through Windjammer on one of his endless patrols, his first glance only registers friend, blood, and he bolts for Ylva's table with a panicked cry. "Ylva! What happened?"

"I got in a fight."

Her tone is dismissive, but she looks up, sees his face, and her snarl shifts into a slightly embarrassed expression. She rubs her nose with the back of her hand, smudging a bit of blood across her cheek. "It's fine," she says. "I won. But I worked up an appetite."

"With who? One of the possessed?"

Luckily Dimitri's constant need to be Useful expands beyond patrolling, and has joined very well with his discovery of the joys of cargo pants. He rummages through his assorted pockets for a pack of wipes and passes them over. "Did they escape?"

"Possessed? Oh, I don't know, I never met him before."

Ah, wet wipes. So incredibly useful for those of us who do not have prestidigitation. She tears one open and starts cleaning herself up. See, she's fine. "He's a dumb cat who was down in the Promenade actively trying to hunt people."

She snorts, and tosses the wipe down on the table before sinking down sulkily in her seat. "He seemed to think it was really funny that I objected."

"Hunting ... by the Goddess. Can I -- ?" Dimitri indicates the seat opposite Ylva. "I'm afraid I don't follow. What do you mean by a cat? Was he a black cat, by any chance?"

She waves a hand at the seat in acceptance.

"No, not black. A mountain lion, a cougar. He's some sort of shapeshifter, maybe a werecat, I'm not really sure. Not exactly like me, but. Not really all that different from me, either."

Ylva grabs a nuggie from her plate, stuffs it in her face whole, and lays her head down the table, chewing angrily.

"A cougar. Flames." Dimitri drops into the chair and buries his face in his hands. "Of all the things I expected to deal with this month -- I didn't expect to deal with any of this month, but Goddess. Alright. I'll warn people about the man-eating cougar on top of everything else ... I'm glad you're alright."

He looks up from his hands, and reevaluates the situation.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. He clawed me pretty good, but I can heal the worst of it myself. Nothing I haven't had before."

She is totally fine. Totally.

"I didn't kill him. I could've killed him, and he would've killed me, but I didn't kill him. Should I have killed him? I mean, I might not have a choice next time."

"If he wouldn't come back, I'd say yes without question. But he would, so ... I don't know. Perhaps sparing him made a note effective statement." Dimitri sighs.

"Why did you spare him?"

"I don't know."

She sounds miserable. "I had his neck in my teeth and I could have, but... I don't know, Dimitri, he thought it was funny that I cared about people getting hurt, and that I didn't want him murdering people. We fought and I got him easy, and I was so angry, but I really just wanted him to know that I could kill him, if I wanted to."

Ylva is quiet for a moment, then adds, "He said I'm strange. I know I'm strange, but usually people don't say it like... that."

"Of all the people to wind up here ... I suppose we're lucky we haven't had one already." Dimitri growls. "People like him think they can do whatever they please, just because they're strong. They think that care and kindness are lies dreamed up by the weak to protect themselves. And when they meet someone like you or me -- someone who's strong enough to behave as they do, but who refuses, and refuses to allow them to do the same -- they think we're the fools. That those they call weak have tricked us into being pets and watchdogs. They can't imagine choosing to care for others without being deceived or forced."

After a moment, Dimitri shakes his head, settling. " ... I'm making several assumptions, but I know the type."

She listens to this, some of the tension melting out of her. "No. No, that. Makes sense. And I mean, he's a cat. Cats tend to be loners at the best of the times. No sense of pack, no sense of family."

Ylva takes a couple raspberries from her plate and pops them in her mouth, then slides the plate towards Dimitri in case he wants some of her berries or chicken nuggets.

"That sort of thing scares people. And he wants that. And I don't want... Dimitri, I don't want people to be scared of me because I'm a little bit like him."

Nobunaga frowns over his own dino nuggets, and a plate of mostly desserts. That doesn't look like mild, though she seems to be regenerating. Just in case.... "Want me to call Tendi?" And/or should he, even if she doesn't want it?

He grabs a seat across from her without waiting for invitation. "What happened?" And offers some napkins of his own.

"Thanks, but I've got this. I've had worse."

And she has, but she takes the napkins thankfully. "I got in a fight with a stupid cat. It's fine, I won, and maybe he won't be trying to eat people, at least for a while."

"Oh, Siffleur?" What are even the odds of more than one monstrous cat that waits to ambush and people lying around? "It's a shame we don't have more fish around."

Don't mind him, he'll just make a lunchbox.

"How badly did you hurt him?" Maybe if they had weird catnip too? Would Klaus know what meds is safe for cats or cougars? "You're pretty strong, huh?" Cats and dogs, right? Though even the dumbass that is Nobunaga has barely enough tact to say that out loud.

"Is that his name? I didn't ask. He was too busy telling me he wanted to eat the people here."

Ylva growls a little, under her breath. "He'll live. Had him in my jaws, could've killed him. He would've killed me. But he'll live." A pause. "He might have some burnt paws. I'm actually not sure on that point."

"Good job winning," Nobunaga nods. "He's strong, so you must be even stronger." He should be more sympathetic, he just literally doesn't know how.

"If he eats me, don't punish him, I asked him to cover up the evidence if I die while trying to conquer infinity." Just... He really admitted that. Out loud. To another person who already doesn't like or trust the cougar. Yes. The most excellent of life choices being made by the Demon King, every day all day.

"I'm very strong. I could've done a lot worse if I'd wanted."

But she gives him a slightly startled look. "I don't get it. You're okay if he eats you? I know we don't die permanently here, but... look, he's not exactly someone I'd trust to make it quick and painless. And it's not like he needs to."

"I don't doubt," he nods.

And tilts his head. "I don't fear pain. I don't want my reputation tarnished. A matter of pride. I'm not the type to commit harakiri or feel indebted to shame, but there's a reason they specifically seek the most painful way to try to restore honor. Should I fail, it would be more embarrassing than any amount of pain a fellow predator could bestow upon me."

What does that even mean? Best not think too much on it.

Nobunaga also has a contract - as Ari would say - to eat Siffleur too. But he's not going to mention that part. Even Oda knows that's weird.

She bares her teeth. "He wants to inflict pain on the weak. For fun. There are people here who can't fight back, not against a cougar. He enjoys their pain. Fine. If he hunts you, I won't be worried. But if he goes up against people who can't? Then I will show him."

Ylva shakes her head. "Life and death are a cycle. You can't have one without the other. But there are proper ways to do it, ways that are right. Ways that don't make people fear you."

Nobunaga's quiet for a moment. "He's already saving Ava and Fio candy for Halloween. So he's not wholly indiscriminate. Don't wolves also target the weakest in herds, the ones that would fall even if they were not eaten?"

That's the easy part. As for the rest?

"What's wrong with being feared?"

There's a reason he overly empathized with the Captain. And he's genuinely baffled by it. Not testing or defending any point of view, just not comprehending.

"That's different," Ylva says, impatient. "You kill to eat, you have to kill to eat, you take the weak, but you don't kill your own weak. And we have to help each other. We have a dumb boat and a lot of danger and we can't be hurting each other. That's the strength of the pack. How can we be strong if we're always hurting each other?"

A pause, then, "Being feared by your pack is no way to live. A pack is about love. A pack is family."

Oh okay.

Nobunaga relaxes instantly. "He just got here, Ylva. Tigers are solitary creatures. He's not like a lion with a pride, and most big cats don't find strength in relying on each other or working together. They have to claim space away from each other so that they don't over-hunt a region. The only place on this ship that can even count as is the Spirit Halloween. It's not just food for him, it's an entire way of living. Give him time, he's not beyond capacity to understand better, but it's a big shift of thinking for him. It was for me too, but at least I'm used to having to work with others. He's not even had that much. Cooperation is stronger, but usually tigers do have to intimidate each other. For them being feared by other predators is necessary. Must suck, huh?"

"Do you think I don't know how cats work?"

There's a bit of a snarl in her voice. "I have lived my whole life like this. I am a wolf, but I am a druid, too. I know how trees use mushrooms to talk to each other, and how hives of bees speak in dance, and how the fish swim up from the sea to spawn and then die of it, and how the bears grow fat to survive the winter on their corpses. He's a danger as he is, and he needs to learn."

Ylva stuffs a dino nuggie in her mouth and chews furiously. "There's nothing special about him hunting. I am a hunter. We're all hunters. We all kill in order to live, and anyone who says differently is fooling themselves. And if he only respects strength, then I'll be that strength to keep him in line until he does learn."

"Trees use mushrooms to talk?!"

Wait important things first...

"Okay." Nobunaga likes Siffleur, but he's not his responsibility. There's a reason he didn't take him into his army. "You can be the rock. I'll give him the alternative. The easy way out."

Also.... "How do trees use mushrooms to talk?"

She grunts, for a moment caught between being angry and not being angry.

"Okay, look. The bit of the mushroom that grows where you can see it? That's not the mushroom. Or at least it's just the tiniest bit of it. It's like... well, it's like one flower on a whole big tree. The mushroom grows through the whole forest, all tangled up with the roots of the trees and undergrowth. You can't hardly see it, because it's made of these tiny, tiny little threads." Ylva gestures expansively and meaninglessly, trying to communicate the vastness of this idea in vain. "The trees feed it, actually. And then they give the mushroom messages. Not in words, or sounds, but more like. A little package made of a message that only other trees could make sense of. They give those to the mushroom, and it carries them to other trees, through those threads, to other roots. Whole forests, just having quiet conversations about when they should make acorns, or how to grow without running into each other."

Talking about this has her excited, her face flushed. "No one realises it. But it's there and it's important. And I mean, that's not all mushrooms, there are other types of mushrooms that live in different ways, but some mushrooms are doing that, all the time."

Mind blown!

"That's so cool! Sugoi sugoi! Ahhhhh what happens if they grow on people, could they get telepathy? Or other animals? Or --" Gasp! "What do the other mushrooms do?"

"It's... it's not telepathy. It's just tree language." She shakes her head. "It couldn't grow on people, and you wouldn't need it because you talk with sound."

This is all very obvious to Ylva, honestly. "There's lots of types of mushrooms. Some grow on dead things and eat them. Some are diseases that infect trees or insects, make them act strange. It's just that some types of mushrooms connect trees together and carry messages for them."

"I see," a nod!

And then a laugh. "Mushrooms are so amazing. So druids are experts in animals, insects, trees, and mushrooms? What else?"

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winning, but at what cost

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cw: consensual cannibalism

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cw: harakiri

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