Honoria Crabb (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
pointofhonoria) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
come_sailaway2022-11-03 02:21 am
pointofhonoria) wrote in come_sailaway2022-11-03 02:21 am
Well, the world might cut you down again [OPEN]
Who: Honoria Crabb & you!
What: Crabb comes back from being possessed
When: Second weekish of November on, mostly
Where: Many places on the ship
Warnings: Discussion of possession, death, etc.
Notes: Feel free to flip me to brackets I am comfortable with either style.
1. And your best might not be good enough [closed to Johnny]
You don't realise how much you take the ability to sleep for granted until it's abruptly ripped away from you. Maybe if she could go right from closing her eyes to dreaming, skip over the quiet, the dark, the almost-nothingness of drifting off, Crabb could bring herself to get more than a handful of hours over as many days, but she can't. So, she hasn't.
She's exhausted. She's terrified. She's still not actually left her room since she woke up, equally desperate for human contact and scared to face the aftermath of everything she missed.
All of this finally comes to a head when she almost passes out standing up in the bathroom, while trying to splash herself with water to wake herself up no less. She barely catches herself before she cracks her head off the sink and the sheer panic that hits is enough to simultaneously startle her awake and realise she really needs to sleep.
Sliding down to sit on the floor, back against the shower cubicle, she texts Johnny: Almost killed myself by falling asleep on my feet. Think I need an assist, here.
2. But just know you're not alone [cabins]
Eventually, she knows she has to brave the rest of the ship. Struggling with such a simple thing as stepping outside her door for more than a few minutes at a time is frustrating enough as it is, but the problem with getting more sleep and thus more energy is the stir craziness that follows.
So, eventually, she bites the bullet. Gets dressed in actual clothes again (pants and one of the assortment of flannels she apparently got delivered at some point) and tells herself she's not going back inside for at least an hour. That's doable.
Still, it's... hard. Harder than it should be. (She's getting kinda a brand new perspective on Johnny's issues, let her say that much...) So maybe you catch her before she's actually managed to leave, on any particular day, standing in the doorway of her cabin awkwardly.
3. And if you slip and lose your way again [food places, calgona, library, photos at sea]
One way or another she does, finally, start trying to get back into a routine again. Stopping by Windjammer for most of her meals in the morning, afternoon and evening—though she'll occasionally stop by Sand Dollars for coffee or a snack. During these times she's quiet, but not hostile to company, and honestly would actually welcome it even if you'd struggle to make her say so.
She starts going to the gym again, whaling on a punching bag almost as hard as Daisy did while occupying her body except, unlike Daisy, Crabb has the sense to wear wraps and stop when she feels her hands getting too stiff. You might catch her while she's still punching away, or maybe after she's decided it's time for a break and is sat against the wall with a bottle of water.
Sometimes, she swings by the library to either sit and read in one of the chairs, or check on the Black Binder and other assorted information to see if anything changed on that front in the time she was gone. Catch her staring at the damage report and mumbling, "What in blue blazes did you all get up to in only a month...?" whilst trying to ignore the creepy drawings.
And then, once or twice, you might catch her stood at the edge of Photos At Sea, staring at the displays from a distance, trying very hard to decide if she wants to risk finding what photos were taken of Daisy throughout the month. Usually, the answer to that would be an unshakeable yes, but, well, Crabb is in fact still very shaken.
Through all of this, she still can't bring herself to use the stairs. You know. Considering being thrown down them is how she got possessed in the first place.
4. Well, I'll know that you will be all right [existing CR or people who met Daisy]
Some people, however, are going to actually get a more... direct visit, from the recently returned detective. Those who she knows that Daisy would have had to interact with somewhat to keep up the act of Being Crabb, or who reasonably might have had a conversation with her at some point in the three weeks she wasn't actually around. People she knows and feels that she can go up to and just ask, "So what in God's name did she say to you, then?"
If you don't know Crabb particularly well but had an interaction with not!Crabb... well, you'll have to approach her first, much as she's tempted she can't actually go up to every single person on the ship and ask them without feeling like an idiot.
5. You still gotta try [wildcard]
Find me at![[plurk.com profile]](https://plurk.com/favicon.ico)
bluecitrine or at artisticblueteam#5757/in the discord.
What: Crabb comes back from being possessed
When: Second weekish of November on, mostly
Where: Many places on the ship
Warnings: Discussion of possession, death, etc.
Notes: Feel free to flip me to brackets I am comfortable with either style.
1. And your best might not be good enough [closed to Johnny]
You don't realise how much you take the ability to sleep for granted until it's abruptly ripped away from you. Maybe if she could go right from closing her eyes to dreaming, skip over the quiet, the dark, the almost-nothingness of drifting off, Crabb could bring herself to get more than a handful of hours over as many days, but she can't. So, she hasn't.
She's exhausted. She's terrified. She's still not actually left her room since she woke up, equally desperate for human contact and scared to face the aftermath of everything she missed.
All of this finally comes to a head when she almost passes out standing up in the bathroom, while trying to splash herself with water to wake herself up no less. She barely catches herself before she cracks her head off the sink and the sheer panic that hits is enough to simultaneously startle her awake and realise she really needs to sleep.
Sliding down to sit on the floor, back against the shower cubicle, she texts Johnny: Almost killed myself by falling asleep on my feet. Think I need an assist, here.
2. But just know you're not alone [cabins]
Eventually, she knows she has to brave the rest of the ship. Struggling with such a simple thing as stepping outside her door for more than a few minutes at a time is frustrating enough as it is, but the problem with getting more sleep and thus more energy is the stir craziness that follows.
So, eventually, she bites the bullet. Gets dressed in actual clothes again (pants and one of the assortment of flannels she apparently got delivered at some point) and tells herself she's not going back inside for at least an hour. That's doable.
Still, it's... hard. Harder than it should be. (She's getting kinda a brand new perspective on Johnny's issues, let her say that much...) So maybe you catch her before she's actually managed to leave, on any particular day, standing in the doorway of her cabin awkwardly.
3. And if you slip and lose your way again [food places, calgona, library, photos at sea]
One way or another she does, finally, start trying to get back into a routine again. Stopping by Windjammer for most of her meals in the morning, afternoon and evening—though she'll occasionally stop by Sand Dollars for coffee or a snack. During these times she's quiet, but not hostile to company, and honestly would actually welcome it even if you'd struggle to make her say so.
She starts going to the gym again, whaling on a punching bag almost as hard as Daisy did while occupying her body except, unlike Daisy, Crabb has the sense to wear wraps and stop when she feels her hands getting too stiff. You might catch her while she's still punching away, or maybe after she's decided it's time for a break and is sat against the wall with a bottle of water.
Sometimes, she swings by the library to either sit and read in one of the chairs, or check on the Black Binder and other assorted information to see if anything changed on that front in the time she was gone. Catch her staring at the damage report and mumbling, "What in blue blazes did you all get up to in only a month...?" whilst trying to ignore the creepy drawings.
And then, once or twice, you might catch her stood at the edge of Photos At Sea, staring at the displays from a distance, trying very hard to decide if she wants to risk finding what photos were taken of Daisy throughout the month. Usually, the answer to that would be an unshakeable yes, but, well, Crabb is in fact still very shaken.
Through all of this, she still can't bring herself to use the stairs. You know. Considering being thrown down them is how she got possessed in the first place.
4. Well, I'll know that you will be all right [existing CR or people who met Daisy]
Some people, however, are going to actually get a more... direct visit, from the recently returned detective. Those who she knows that Daisy would have had to interact with somewhat to keep up the act of Being Crabb, or who reasonably might have had a conversation with her at some point in the three weeks she wasn't actually around. People she knows and feels that she can go up to and just ask, "So what in God's name did she say to you, then?"
If you don't know Crabb particularly well but had an interaction with not!Crabb... well, you'll have to approach her first, much as she's tempted she can't actually go up to every single person on the ship and ask them without feeling like an idiot.
5. You still gotta try [wildcard]
Find me at
no subject
He gets another, lighter, thwap, before she puts the pillow back under her head. "Yeah, yeah, love you too, you tormenting bastard." She sounds fond, though. "Anyway if there were bleedin' textbooks on this boat I wouldn't have half the damn issues I'm havin' with all this. She mentioned that bit to you too then?"
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"It's at..." There's a noise low in her throat as she pulls words together, hands gesturing above her as she lays there on her back. "There's this tangle in my head about it, I'm tryna pull it apart now we've talked about it. 'Cause I don't mind it, when I'm lookin' at it with that all pushed to the side. Different or not, you boys are plenty evidence you can—"
She swallows. "—love, more than one person equal, right? And both times we've kissed, she squealed like a schoolgirl soon as she left, it's hard to feel like I ain't enough in the face of that. But you might 'a been right about uh. Self-esteem. Before."
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He gently touches the tip of her nose. "It'd be a little like me a getting weird over Mimley and Ducky being married. What he has with her exists outside of and parallel to what he has with the me who's still in Gallery. He loves her, he loves me. But it's not the same love copied over to a different person."
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Her nose crinkles up a little, around the scar across the bridge.
"Alright, maybe equal's not the word but— it ain't... less, for being different, y'know? But— guess that's still comparin'...? S'just that's the first logic that worked against the gut reaction of thinkin' she'd... found someone better. It ain't that, I know it ain't, but people just don't look at me this way usually. Getting used to it, still."
She's never felt so desired in her life and it's intense and wonderful and a part of her keeps waiting for the other shoe to drop, anyway.
"...to tell you the truth of it you, Bastrop and Ducky was the other example that helped. You seemed to be figurin' that out alright before... y'know, here."
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Oh she is in daaaaanger. Just thinking about the two being in the same space is... it's interesting. Let's call it interesting. That's a safe word that can hide many implications.
"Well. Ducks'd have Erin pegged quick as anything, 'course, that's just a given. Probably find some fascination in that way she does when she meets someone with real layers to pick apart. Wouldn't be intimidated by the size or the sword and such. Erin's... intense, y'know, but I don't think Ducks has ever seen someone with some taste of intensity to 'em and seen it as anything but— a challenge?"
Crabb continues to not be as confident in matters of people, even on her own judgement alone sometimes, but she's doing her damndest to put it in words as always. Now, Erin on Ducky... she has some frame of reference, but admitting that would be a straight line through to the bit she is trying not to say out loud.
"Erin... think she'd like her, once she figured out how to handle how piercing Ducks' ability to see you is. You're... you see people just as well, but you approach it different, y'know, Ducks can be... well, she's her own kinda intense. And they both got those kinda skills you could use to do real harm but try to do the opposite, yeah? Sure Erin could appreciate that much about her. Be bloody interesting to watch 'em try pin the other down if nothing else."
no subject
He says it with the straightest of faces, instead of immediately grinning at her like the bastard he is.
no subject
Crabb damn near chokes on her own spit the second the words are out of his mouth. Somehow she comes out looking even more flustered than she did after the hour of literal sex talk, perhaps because that was at least informative and not a direct call out aimed right for the throat.
All she gets out is a surprisingly high-pitched, "Johnny!"
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Butter wouldn't melt in his mouth.
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She grabs for the pillow with full intention of twhapping him again and instead ends up with it back over her face as she tries to both not have that mental image implanted in her brain and regain her composure. Neither of these endeavours are exactly successful.
"You are. The worrrrst." She loves his bastard self and he knows it but she can whine, alright! "Jeezus that's unfair."
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Beat.
"Not that you're going straight anywhere else, either, of course."
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"It ain't gonna be my face in this pillow in a second, mister."
You know as if a nothing straight about you joke is his worst 'sin' today. It does actually make her laugh a little despite herself and the threat.
"Ugh but you ain't wrong, that's— something, yeah. But there've gotta be ways of teaching that lesson that ain't— that!"
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He gives her a wry knowing look.
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"Pillow. Your face. I mean it."
And yet she does not at all move to introduce the two. Instead she just lowers it from her own to hug against her chest and sighs dramatically.
"...how bloody long have you known?"
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Did she really think he had not noticed?
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"Aw, Hell, why is my face such a traitor—" She's too expressive for her own good, she swears, and yet at the same time she doesn't try to change that most of the time. And Erin seems to like it..... "See, look, of course you noticed but also I kinda hoped you didn't 'cause god if you know..."
What are the odds the others didn't spot something? Of course that's other Crabb's problem now but...
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He really is cruel, isn't he? Slipping off the bed and out of pillow-smothering range as he speaks.
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"Don't I half. Ugh, m'almost glad I'm missing that mess, not like I can't guess how that ends..."
Ducky doesn't look at her like that and that's fine. She doesn't expect anyone to, let alone her, and she honestly wonders if the Crabb back there could handle the alternative. Considering it took her months here to start unpacking what Cragen did to her.
She watches him get up and is not not pouting a little. "...I really bloody like her, Johnny. Erin, I mean."
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"Mm, think I've see a bit of what you mean, yeah." She deliberately doesn't bring up what Erin said about telling her about whatever darkness lurks in her past, since she also let her know Johnny was choosing not to engage, but... he might know what she's thinking about, anyway. "I'm damn well gonna try."
She's certainly not a stranger to being the straightforward voice cutting through some of the nonsense, is she?
"Can't say I'm not scared of screwing up, but if I let that stop me I wouldn't be who I am by now, would I?"
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"...yeah, will do. Soon, I hope." She sits up and tucks the pillow back where it's meant to be, smiling back at him. "Thanks, Johnny. This really helped. Even if you clearly enjoy tormenting me far too bleedin' much."