Honoria Crabb (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
pointofhonoria) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
come_sailaway2022-11-03 02:21 am
pointofhonoria) wrote in come_sailaway2022-11-03 02:21 am
Well, the world might cut you down again [OPEN]
Who: Honoria Crabb & you!
What: Crabb comes back from being possessed
When: Second weekish of November on, mostly
Where: Many places on the ship
Warnings: Discussion of possession, death, etc.
Notes: Feel free to flip me to brackets I am comfortable with either style.
1. And your best might not be good enough [closed to Johnny]
You don't realise how much you take the ability to sleep for granted until it's abruptly ripped away from you. Maybe if she could go right from closing her eyes to dreaming, skip over the quiet, the dark, the almost-nothingness of drifting off, Crabb could bring herself to get more than a handful of hours over as many days, but she can't. So, she hasn't.
She's exhausted. She's terrified. She's still not actually left her room since she woke up, equally desperate for human contact and scared to face the aftermath of everything she missed.
All of this finally comes to a head when she almost passes out standing up in the bathroom, while trying to splash herself with water to wake herself up no less. She barely catches herself before she cracks her head off the sink and the sheer panic that hits is enough to simultaneously startle her awake and realise she really needs to sleep.
Sliding down to sit on the floor, back against the shower cubicle, she texts Johnny: Almost killed myself by falling asleep on my feet. Think I need an assist, here.
2. But just know you're not alone [cabins]
Eventually, she knows she has to brave the rest of the ship. Struggling with such a simple thing as stepping outside her door for more than a few minutes at a time is frustrating enough as it is, but the problem with getting more sleep and thus more energy is the stir craziness that follows.
So, eventually, she bites the bullet. Gets dressed in actual clothes again (pants and one of the assortment of flannels she apparently got delivered at some point) and tells herself she's not going back inside for at least an hour. That's doable.
Still, it's... hard. Harder than it should be. (She's getting kinda a brand new perspective on Johnny's issues, let her say that much...) So maybe you catch her before she's actually managed to leave, on any particular day, standing in the doorway of her cabin awkwardly.
3. And if you slip and lose your way again [food places, calgona, library, photos at sea]
One way or another she does, finally, start trying to get back into a routine again. Stopping by Windjammer for most of her meals in the morning, afternoon and evening—though she'll occasionally stop by Sand Dollars for coffee or a snack. During these times she's quiet, but not hostile to company, and honestly would actually welcome it even if you'd struggle to make her say so.
She starts going to the gym again, whaling on a punching bag almost as hard as Daisy did while occupying her body except, unlike Daisy, Crabb has the sense to wear wraps and stop when she feels her hands getting too stiff. You might catch her while she's still punching away, or maybe after she's decided it's time for a break and is sat against the wall with a bottle of water.
Sometimes, she swings by the library to either sit and read in one of the chairs, or check on the Black Binder and other assorted information to see if anything changed on that front in the time she was gone. Catch her staring at the damage report and mumbling, "What in blue blazes did you all get up to in only a month...?" whilst trying to ignore the creepy drawings.
And then, once or twice, you might catch her stood at the edge of Photos At Sea, staring at the displays from a distance, trying very hard to decide if she wants to risk finding what photos were taken of Daisy throughout the month. Usually, the answer to that would be an unshakeable yes, but, well, Crabb is in fact still very shaken.
Through all of this, she still can't bring herself to use the stairs. You know. Considering being thrown down them is how she got possessed in the first place.
4. Well, I'll know that you will be all right [existing CR or people who met Daisy]
Some people, however, are going to actually get a more... direct visit, from the recently returned detective. Those who she knows that Daisy would have had to interact with somewhat to keep up the act of Being Crabb, or who reasonably might have had a conversation with her at some point in the three weeks she wasn't actually around. People she knows and feels that she can go up to and just ask, "So what in God's name did she say to you, then?"
If you don't know Crabb particularly well but had an interaction with not!Crabb... well, you'll have to approach her first, much as she's tempted she can't actually go up to every single person on the ship and ask them without feeling like an idiot.
5. You still gotta try [wildcard]
Find me at![[plurk.com profile]](https://plurk.com/favicon.ico)
bluecitrine or at artisticblueteam#5757/in the discord.
What: Crabb comes back from being possessed
When: Second weekish of November on, mostly
Where: Many places on the ship
Warnings: Discussion of possession, death, etc.
Notes: Feel free to flip me to brackets I am comfortable with either style.
1. And your best might not be good enough [closed to Johnny]
You don't realise how much you take the ability to sleep for granted until it's abruptly ripped away from you. Maybe if she could go right from closing her eyes to dreaming, skip over the quiet, the dark, the almost-nothingness of drifting off, Crabb could bring herself to get more than a handful of hours over as many days, but she can't. So, she hasn't.
She's exhausted. She's terrified. She's still not actually left her room since she woke up, equally desperate for human contact and scared to face the aftermath of everything she missed.
All of this finally comes to a head when she almost passes out standing up in the bathroom, while trying to splash herself with water to wake herself up no less. She barely catches herself before she cracks her head off the sink and the sheer panic that hits is enough to simultaneously startle her awake and realise she really needs to sleep.
Sliding down to sit on the floor, back against the shower cubicle, she texts Johnny: Almost killed myself by falling asleep on my feet. Think I need an assist, here.
2. But just know you're not alone [cabins]
Eventually, she knows she has to brave the rest of the ship. Struggling with such a simple thing as stepping outside her door for more than a few minutes at a time is frustrating enough as it is, but the problem with getting more sleep and thus more energy is the stir craziness that follows.
So, eventually, she bites the bullet. Gets dressed in actual clothes again (pants and one of the assortment of flannels she apparently got delivered at some point) and tells herself she's not going back inside for at least an hour. That's doable.
Still, it's... hard. Harder than it should be. (She's getting kinda a brand new perspective on Johnny's issues, let her say that much...) So maybe you catch her before she's actually managed to leave, on any particular day, standing in the doorway of her cabin awkwardly.
3. And if you slip and lose your way again [food places, calgona, library, photos at sea]
One way or another she does, finally, start trying to get back into a routine again. Stopping by Windjammer for most of her meals in the morning, afternoon and evening—though she'll occasionally stop by Sand Dollars for coffee or a snack. During these times she's quiet, but not hostile to company, and honestly would actually welcome it even if you'd struggle to make her say so.
She starts going to the gym again, whaling on a punching bag almost as hard as Daisy did while occupying her body except, unlike Daisy, Crabb has the sense to wear wraps and stop when she feels her hands getting too stiff. You might catch her while she's still punching away, or maybe after she's decided it's time for a break and is sat against the wall with a bottle of water.
Sometimes, she swings by the library to either sit and read in one of the chairs, or check on the Black Binder and other assorted information to see if anything changed on that front in the time she was gone. Catch her staring at the damage report and mumbling, "What in blue blazes did you all get up to in only a month...?" whilst trying to ignore the creepy drawings.
And then, once or twice, you might catch her stood at the edge of Photos At Sea, staring at the displays from a distance, trying very hard to decide if she wants to risk finding what photos were taken of Daisy throughout the month. Usually, the answer to that would be an unshakeable yes, but, well, Crabb is in fact still very shaken.
Through all of this, she still can't bring herself to use the stairs. You know. Considering being thrown down them is how she got possessed in the first place.
4. Well, I'll know that you will be all right [existing CR or people who met Daisy]
Some people, however, are going to actually get a more... direct visit, from the recently returned detective. Those who she knows that Daisy would have had to interact with somewhat to keep up the act of Being Crabb, or who reasonably might have had a conversation with her at some point in the three weeks she wasn't actually around. People she knows and feels that she can go up to and just ask, "So what in God's name did she say to you, then?"
If you don't know Crabb particularly well but had an interaction with not!Crabb... well, you'll have to approach her first, much as she's tempted she can't actually go up to every single person on the ship and ask them without feeling like an idiot.
5. You still gotta try [wildcard]
Find me at
no subject
God it's like having the breath pulled from her lungs with every word. She sits there in a stunned sort of silence as the words flow into the privacy of the cabin air, those shared with Daisy but also those that are just for her, now. That she can tuck away somewhere in her heart or her head and try to remember to draw out when the doubt gnaws at her. It's like bloody poetry to her and there's an audible sense of relief, awe, in the laugh-tinted breath she lets out as Erin finishes.
"Mm, well, I ain't ever gonna complain about you callin' me handsome, so..."
It's light and warm and awed and the fact that she finds that the easy part to comment on, despite the spectre of how little she's ever been called attractive at all before Erin, says something about how much the rest hits her.
Another breath, shakier than the last but thick with relief.
"...God please say I can kiss you, right now."
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Erin's hands find Crabb's and hold them tight.
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"Hey, I ain't the one who forgot about breathin' last time, am I?"
The angle is new, but she figures it out; she's a little more confident every time, see. Her lips find Erin's and can't seem to help curling into a smile a moment before, and though a part of her is still worried about many things, for now... she relaxes, just sinks into this, into Erin, and clings to the fact Erin so loudly loves (loves, God—) her.
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"One of these days I'm actually gonna die doing that and have to explain it to everyone so they can laugh at me," Erin murmurs. "...Or forget to not bite you, but maybe that one ends better."
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Crabb lets out a breathless laugh, "See, if you die doin' that, I don't stand a chance, but the biting... guess we'll have to see, won't we?"
Her heart is pounding again. There's a certain emotional whiplash to going from the revelations about Daisy to all of this, the sting still lingers somewhere under her skin but the warmth of Erin's words and lips and presence soothes it enough that she can put it aside for now.
"...you make me feel seen too, y'know. Never feel like you're putting something on me that you wanna see, just that you see the me I've been tryna be for years." She presses another kiss to Erin's forehead, lingering for a moment as she collects her thoughts. "And I like seeing you. All of you. Way you're trying so damn hard to be something new, too, no matter what other folks or even yourself have put on you in the past. You talk about this garden to tend and this place feels less..." no, that's not quite right, "feels more like somewhere to belong. Way you get just— silly, sometimes. Giddy, happy... makes me wanna find all the ways I can to pull more of that outta you."
Everything from her enjoyment of the Muppets, to the mere idea to turn tiny for the costume party even if she didn't see it, to the way she squealed and seemed so delighted after the kisses, the decision to date for real.
"Way you've always got your eye on the youngins around here, never know what to do with 'em myself and there's you in all these photos muddling your way through it. You reach out to people. You don't go lettin' people flounder alone, even when you barely know 'em. You barely knew me and neither of us knew how much we could handle but... here we are, yeah? Y'don't go easy on me but y'don't rush me and y'don't look down on what I'm lacking.
"And— and it ain't like I think you're something to bloody fix, but you make me wanna do the best by you I can, 'cause I wanna see what happens as you muddle out how to handle someone loving you more than you think you deserve."
And somehow Crabb herself feels embarrassed for putting that all into the air plain like that, but she's done it now, hasn't she?
no subject
The powerful need not to be looked at while this gobsmacked and cherished makes Erin roll back over, facedown in Crabb's lap, where her girlfriend's legs muffle the squeal that Erin makes.
(That's not - we're just doing things -)
Everyone just does things! Crabb doesn't lie.
...Also...this feels very comfy...
Erin tries to say something that fails to escape the Crabb Legs and turns over on her side so she can talk. She can't stop grinning. "I'm really all that, huh? You really know how to make a girl feel special, love." A happy little sigh. "You'd do great with the youngbloods, honestly. I'm surprised Johnny hasn't tagged you in on Vance, his student, already. Boy could use an example of the difference between bravery and courage."
no subject
Crabb lights up the second the blush shows up, and only gets brighter when Erin has to roll over to muffle her squeal. That makes every ounce of embarrassment about putting that all in words completely worth it, it really does. She brushes at some of Erin's cloud of hair again while she's got her face hidden, then flashes her that smile when she turns part-way over again.
"Don't say things I don't mean, me. You know that." And all of that... it's really why she's willing to keep giving Erin the chance. One screw up doesn't erase everything else she's seen. "You're all that and more, Erin. Can say so as many times as you can take hearing it without actually exploding."
This is... really nice. The turnaround from how tense she was when Erin arrived all anxious looking to the comfort of sitting here like this...
"Never felt like I'm great with kids, to tell the truth. Ain't like I don't like 'em, just don't feel like I've got the right kinda patience? I dunno. S'pose I didn't do terrible when I got roped into something when I was 'round at the orphanage, once or twice..."
no subject
"...Hey, gonna ask this now instead of like. Coming back after just doing things again. If somethin' happens with like, say, Cass or Tendi, y'know, people you can respect, how...how do you want that to go down? My first instinct is that it's their business, y'know, but...well, I'm your business."
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Crabb huffs an amused noise. "Believe me, I ain't forgotten about that. He came knocking on my door in his rounds tryna figure out who he'd hurt while possessed, so I've finally met the kid at least..."
She'll sit on that, though. Maybe it's not all that fair that she's been dodging having to deal with literally any teenager on board just because she's not sure she'll handle it right first time around.
"People like them, just... just let me know, yeah? Maybe ahead, if you got plans to make a move, but so long as you keep me in the know, think I'll be fine. Don't need to know all the details, those really are their business, but the basics..." She shrugs one shoulder a little.
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Crabb rolls her eyes faintly, fondly. Now it's her turn to lightly boop Erin. "Can't say I got no doubts about that one, but if a second miracle happens then, sure, you'll know soon as it does. But don't go holdin' your breath, if one of us is gonna die from not gettin' enough air it should be for the fun reason."
no subject
(...She could date a guy y'know.)
And?
(We don't have any jokes for that.)
SHIT.
"Speaking of actually I've been wanting to spar with Cass too. She's got this rapier, dueling sword but I'm trying to get over how much I fucking hate dueling styles. My schedule's, y'know...free...because we're all on this giant cruise ship with no survival needs...but how would ya feel about doubling up sometime? After, y'know, you meet her on your own without me hovering over it all nervous."
no subject
She'd only get more denial of the likelihood back if she kept arguing, so, good call. It's still crazy to her that Erin caught interest in her in the first place, so even with that affirmation she doesn't find it at all likely anyone else will look at her that way.
Yeah yeah, she knows, self-esteem issues...
"Sure, don't see why not. Still ain't no swordswoman, 'course, but I don't mind splitting the time and watching you show those skills some. Dunno when I'll meet her but you know you'll know when I do."
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"If you're lookin' for sensible discouragement you ain't gonna get it off me, y'know that right?" Soft, teasing—look, she doesn't want Erin to have to get up and go anywhere any more than Erin does. "Like having you laying on me like this. Gotta use your own willpower on that dilemma."
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Erin's mouth opens to yawn and she forces it back shut again; it comes out as a deep breath through her nose and a full-body shiver. "An' I've been wanting to sleep on you since you got back anyway. Gotta."
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"Did you give him some time you were gonna meet? 'Cause if you didn't, he ain't waitin' on anything. Really don't think he's gonna shoot you, anyway, mind, but..."
She brushes her fingers against Erin's cheek again. Though her voice is steady, her face is faintly flushed. "We got time. Test run for when your nighttime obligations are done."
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That's it folks, that's the last of the resistance Erin has to muster. But just on the edge of sleep she jolts, in the manner of someone whose body feels like it's falling, and she says, urgently: "Hey, if - listen, if I'm having nightmares don't try to wake me? Whatever you do. Okay? I know you're gonna want to but don't."
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Crabb's brow knits with gentle concern, but she doesn't hesitate to nod. "Yeah, alright. Got it. Won't try to wake you. Go on an' sleep, don't worry."
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Erin nestles in the rest of the way, long body curled up, and lets Crabb's warmth lull her away from her drained and weary waking body.
Despite her worries, there are no nightmares. Eventually the sparks of her Mantle settle on Crabb like dandelion seeds, fizzling with all the warmth of April.
no subject
Crabb keeps herself propped up with one arm, her free hand brushing occasionally against Erin's cheek or through her hair as she sleeps. Even if her legs start to fall asleep at some point she just... doesn't care, it will pass and she's comfortable with Erin laying there.
It isn't like Crabb is any less bothered by the fact Daisy's back or that she and Erin... connected, like they did, but she trusts Erin's word that it won't happen again unless they decide it can, and that's what matters right now. That and the warmth of Erin curled up safely in her lap. Trusting her. Cozy with her.
They'll work this out, bit by bit. She's too stubborn and smitten for any other answer.