Well, the world might cut you down again [OPEN]

[pointofhonoria]

Who: Honoria Crabb & you!
What: Crabb comes back from being possessed
When: Second weekish of November on, mostly
Where: Many places on the ship
Warnings: Discussion of possession, death, etc.
Notes: Feel free to flip me to brackets I am comfortable with either style.


1. And your best might not be good enough [closed to Johnny]

You don't realise how much you take the ability to sleep for granted until it's abruptly ripped away from you. Maybe if she could go right from closing her eyes to dreaming, skip over the quiet, the dark, the almost-nothingness of drifting off, Crabb could bring herself to get more than a handful of hours over as many days, but she can't. So, she hasn't.

She's exhausted. She's terrified. She's still not actually left her room since she woke up, equally desperate for human contact and scared to face the aftermath of everything she missed.

All of this finally comes to a head when she almost passes out standing up in the bathroom, while trying to splash herself with water to wake herself up no less. She barely catches herself before she cracks her head off the sink and the sheer panic that hits is enough to simultaneously startle her awake and realise she really needs to sleep.

Sliding down to sit on the floor, back against the shower cubicle, she texts Johnny: Almost killed myself by falling asleep on my feet. Think I need an assist, here.

2. But just know you're not alone [cabins]

Eventually, she knows she has to brave the rest of the ship. Struggling with such a simple thing as stepping outside her door for more than a few minutes at a time is frustrating enough as it is, but the problem with getting more sleep and thus more energy is the stir craziness that follows.

So, eventually, she bites the bullet. Gets dressed in actual clothes again (pants and one of the assortment of flannels she apparently got delivered at some point) and tells herself she's not going back inside for at least an hour. That's doable.

Still, it's... hard. Harder than it should be. (She's getting kinda a brand new perspective on Johnny's issues, let her say that much...) So maybe you catch her before she's actually managed to leave, on any particular day, standing in the doorway of her cabin awkwardly.

3. And if you slip and lose your way again [food places, calgona, library, photos at sea]

One way or another she does, finally, start trying to get back into a routine again. Stopping by Windjammer for most of her meals in the morning, afternoon and evening—though she'll occasionally stop by Sand Dollars for coffee or a snack. During these times she's quiet, but not hostile to company, and honestly would actually welcome it even if you'd struggle to make her say so.

She starts going to the gym again, whaling on a punching bag almost as hard as Daisy did while occupying her body except, unlike Daisy, Crabb has the sense to wear wraps and stop when she feels her hands getting too stiff. You might catch her while she's still punching away, or maybe after she's decided it's time for a break and is sat against the wall with a bottle of water.

Sometimes, she swings by the library to either sit and read in one of the chairs, or check on the Black Binder and other assorted information to see if anything changed on that front in the time she was gone. Catch her staring at the damage report and mumbling, "What in blue blazes did you all get up to in only a month...?" whilst trying to ignore the creepy drawings.

And then, once or twice, you might catch her stood at the edge of Photos At Sea, staring at the displays from a distance, trying very hard to decide if she wants to risk finding what photos were taken of Daisy throughout the month. Usually, the answer to that would be an unshakeable yes, but, well, Crabb is in fact still very shaken.

Through all of this, she still can't bring herself to use the stairs. You know. Considering being thrown down them is how she got possessed in the first place.

4. Well, I'll know that you will be all right [existing CR or people who met Daisy]

Some people, however, are going to actually get a more... direct visit, from the recently returned detective. Those who she knows that Daisy would have had to interact with somewhat to keep up the act of Being Crabb, or who reasonably might have had a conversation with her at some point in the three weeks she wasn't actually around. People she knows and feels that she can go up to and just ask, "So what in God's name did she say to you, then?"

If you don't know Crabb particularly well but had an interaction with not!Crabb... well, you'll have to approach her first, much as she's tempted she can't actually go up to every single person on the ship and ask them without feeling like an idiot.

5. You still gotta try [wildcard]

Find me at bluecitrine or at artisticblueteam#5757/in the discord.

Comments

[pointofhonoria]

Crabb takes pause for a moment at the tone of voice. Bites her bottom lip, breathes out through her nose, and props herself up on her elbows a moment later.

"I ain't tryna patronise you or nothing, alright, just... I've always been the one on the ground while people around me are pulling nutty stuff. Used to being... braced for something to happen that I'm gonna have a harder time with than I'd like, but know I ain't gonna back down from if it comes. If that makes sense."

Bastrop has his fancy gear and his martial arts training and then there's Crabb, with no such advantages even now. Just normal clothes and learning on her feet.

[not_the_last]

Cassandra opens her half-closed eyes and refocuses on Crabb, listening.

"It makes sense," she says quietly, seriously. "I'll do my best to see that doesn't happen on my account."

[pointofhonoria]

"...thanks. And, look, it ain't like I won't fight or back people up when things go south, it'd just be nice if things didn't go south." She shrugs a shoulder. "We might have enough trouble on hour hands the next few days dependin' on if people decide to be bastards about this..."

Ugh, she hopes they don't. Erin's trying. She's not acting like her old self here. She doesn't deserve to this.

"Just... barely five years ago I was just a normal cop with rocks for brains and then I got pulled into this whole... thing, tryna rip the corruption out of the heart of our city, and then I end up here and... I adapt, but it's been a crazy half a decade."

[not_the_last]

"Well." Just a little briskly; she brushes her hands over her face and up over her hair, smoothing it back. "We can hope things won't go any further south than they've already gone. I think we've made it clear to everyone that Erin doesn't stand alone in this, for whatever good that will do, and ... as you say. We'll adapt. And do what we have to."

[pointofhonoria]

"...yeah. Whatever we have to do." She flops back against the bed again, dragging her own hands back over her own face. "Don't think we'll be the only people on her side, for what that's worth. We ain't the only people with details, and I know at least one friend of hers who specifically asked for no details. Everyone else... well, we're gonna have to see how the dice fall."

[not_the_last]

So to speak.

"Yes."

A pause.

"Thank you," she says, much lower. "I know it was for Erin and not for me, but ... I'm glad you were here for this."

[pointofhonoria]

Crabb manages to almost sound sheepish. "It was for her, yeah, but it ain't a downside it helped you with it all at the same time. Some things are easier with a few people taking the weight between 'em. And— look, you're kinda in my orbit, now, so you ever need something, Erin related or not..."

It's an offer made not because she thinks Cassandra, specifically, needs any help she can ever provide, but because this is what happens when you start getting absorbed into the circle of people Crabb tries to watch out for. Being close to people she's close to and caring for them just so happens to be a fast track into that circle.

Erin described her as someone who knows that the strength of the wolf is in the pack, not the teeth. She was not wrong.

[not_the_last]

The offer takes her a little by surprise; it shows on her face, until it melts into a small grateful smile.

"Thank you. And I don't know how much help I can be in turn -- I'm without most of my usual resources here -- but should you ever need anything that's within my power, please do tell me."

[pointofhonoria]

Crabb flashes her a bit of a smile in return. "Yeah, will do, thanks. See, that's somethin' I've got going for me, I'm real used to working with nothing but my own wits and a good right hook. This place couldn't take that from me."

Light and almost joking, though the point is true. Crabb's actually pretty relieved that some things haven't changed, even if she often feels out of her depth here on account of the whole... magic crap.

[not_the_last]

Cassandra shakes her head ruefully. "I can make shift with a rapier, but I've never really done anything with that on my own. I'm used to either working with a large staff, or ... well, or not being able to accomplish much."

A dull heat blooms in her ears and cheeks; she hadn't meant to say anything like that, and hates how self-pitying it sounds.

[pointofhonoria]

Crabb certainly notices, but she just... shrugs, a little. "No time like the present to start figurin' out how you do, then, is there? Really, you shoulda seen how useless I started out. When I said I had rocks for brains, I mean it, and the worst of it is a lot of it was by choice."

Total wilful ignorance, trying to stick to the status quo to keep her life simple and easy, despite the part of her that always knew something wasn't quite right, the part of her that wanted to be seen for something more.

"You get used to one way of life. You with your staff, me with my rolling over for people who didn't even care I existed, but you can always shake that and figure out how to do things all new like. Y'know?"

She really hopes that comes across as she intends it to, she's used to dropping spiels like that on people that already know her better...

[not_the_last]

She listens, eyes fixed on Crabb's face, and the heat recedes as she takes in what she's saying.

And nods. "I hope so. And, well ... I can certainly try."

[crushed_pearls]

The singing fades away slowly. A brief sob floats from the bathroom, only to be cut short by a yelp and Erin yelling "cold!" in shock as the shower, as is the way of all showers, betrays her.

But hey. The sobbing doesn't continue.

[pointofhonoria]

"That's all we can ever do, yeah? Try and see where it leads us. And we're never alone, here. That's the one thing about this place. There's always others trying too."

Something that seems to mark them separate from prior voyages, which she hopes is a good sign...

At the sound of Erin's struggles, with a faint huff of a laugh— "Y'alright in there, Erin?"

[not_the_last]

Cassandra sits up, startled. "Are you --" she starts to call out, overlapping Crabb's call, and then subsides midsentence.

[crushed_pearls]

"...This is where convention dictates that I threaten kisses to save face but I can only do that to one of you. Be out in a minute."

[pointofhonoria]

Crabb muffles more of a laugh in the back of her hand and sits up properly at last, instead of just half propping her up.

"Not sure how much of a threat that counts as, but alright." She's okay, then—relatively speaking, of course—and that's what matters.

[not_the_last]

"I was going to say the same thing," says Cassandra, amused and only a little embarrassed. "How would kisses be a threat or save face?"

[crushed_pearls]

"Well fine then, you're both getting my overwhelming affection and gratitude when I escape this bathroom."

Inside it Erin desperately hopes she read that tacit permission from Cass correctly.

[pointofhonoria]

"Better figure out your escape from its grasp then, huh?"

Crabb is getting used to this, bit by bit; bouncing flirting back at Erin, having affection dished out. This is a new normal for her she's enjoying.

She does briefly flick her gaze to Cassandra, though, as she catches the possible implications here, but says nothing except her little retort to Erin and does not let her gaze linger.

[not_the_last]

"Do let me know if you need any assistance escaping," Cassandra calls out in turn, grinning a little.

The implications that have occurred to her are roughly as follows: Erin plans to follow through on the threatened kisses, but only to one of them -- Crabb, of course -- and there will be some form of 'overwhelming affection' coming her own way as well. Right now she's trying to decide whether propriety dictates that she avert her eyes while Erin and Crabb are kissing.

[crushed_pearls]

Erin emerges, dressed again and looking...better. Not happy exactly but the pall of rage and misery has dimmed, and her thin haze of powder shoots out the occasional shape; crabs and castles.

She ties her blindfold back on first with a soft sound of relief and then goes straight for Crabb, pulling her girlfriend into a deep kiss -

(No biting!)

Crabb likes -

(Cass has vampire problems, NO BITING!)

- that ends with a soft and breathless sound.

"Thank you," she murmurs. "For reminding me not to be my own enemy."

And then she turns to Cassandra, tilting her chin up with one finger, face so very close.

"Still not feeling threatened?"

A challenge. A hope. Erin's heart races.

[not_the_last]

-- Oh.

She can't control the way her eyes go wide, or the way her heart stumbles for a moment like skipping down a step. But she keeps her face otherwise calm, and meets Erin's gaze.

"I said I would trust you."

[crushed_pearls]

"God I love how you do that," Erin whispers, and then she closes that scant distance, meets Cass's lips with her own.

It's gentle, soft, sure but not insistent; Erin wants to let Cass set the pace.

And besides, her powder is filling the air with smoky castles as it is.

[not_the_last]

The trouble with letting Cass set the pace is she has no idea how to do that -- what kind of kiss she wants, or how to steer it in that direction.

Erin's lips are soft against hers, so soft, so warm. There's a tremor deep in her stomach, not nausea but something like vertigo, and an unsteadiness in her legs even though she isn't standing.

She hears a tiny muffled sound somewhere between a startled gasp and the muddled bleat of a half-awakened sleeper, and only then realizes she's the one who made it.