Valdis (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
redlightgreenlight) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
come_sailaway2022-12-31 03:37 pm
redlightgreenlight) wrote in come_sailaway2022-12-31 03:37 pm
Entry tags:
No Light, No Light in Your Bright Green Eyes
Who: Valdis and Open with Some Closed
What: Valdis does stuff around the Serena Eterna, feel free to join her, unless your name is Nobunaga Oda, and then she’s ignoring you completely
When: January
Where: All over
Warnings: CWs for depression, mention of hallucinations, vague reference to suicide.
You’re my head, you’re my heart | Max Maximum | CW: Mention of Suicide
The days since Skulduggery’s death at the hands of the Captain have been hell. Not just from the overwhelming pain both of them and everyone else had been feeling, but of her own feelings of loss. It was tempting to find a way to destroy herself so she wouldn’t have to feel anything anymore, but it would solve nothing, and her soul was the one thing she had left that she didn’t want to lose. When she finally decides to stop hiding, she just returns to her room, telling Palamedes to not bother her and falls asleep for several days, until a knock comes at the door and she stirs.
And in your place there were a thousand other faces | Bash
Death, and those who touched it often, were not supposed to rest. Skulduggery had said that Vile killed Bash because he couldn’t stand the thought of another Death Bringer. In that respect, Skulduggery not knowing her might have been a mercy. She and Max also might have died. But after what she had said to Bash, and after seeing Jeff during the silence, then Bash dying so violently, guilt seems to be all she is feeling. The man had hurt her, but she had thrown his emotions and fears back at him in a way that only she can, and it had left him feeling like a dark hole of sorrow for weeks, something she could feel from across the ship, no matter where she was. It’s truly a curse, being able to feel. So she’s here, outside his door, ready to knock, knowing he has every right to refuse to speak to her.
“I know you’re in there.” She says, “We can have this conversation one-sided through the door, or you can answer me. Whichever you prefer.”
A Revelation in the light of day | Yato
Valdis is avoiding Nobunaga, she knows whenever he is near and just vanishes before he can ever get close enough to see her. Is it a waste of soul energy when she hasn’t collected any since nearly killing him? Yes. But she wants nothing more to do with him. Yato, however, is a different story. She knows her actions caused him pain, but at least the both of them were alive. She’s on the sports deck when she senses he is nearby and slowly seeks him out. Just after asking him for a new wish, to find something that would make him happy, she does something to hurt him. So many people were hurt that day.
“Yato?”
Would you leave me, if I told you what I’ve done?| CW: Hallucinations? | Open
Valdis sits with her head on the table, seemingly asleep at the Sanddollars, but the entire table is covered in pictures she’s taken from the photo wall. Several of them feature a giant black Hound carrying a disemboweled half transformed Siffleur through the ship, bloody paw prints through the hallways, carnage in Tommy Bahama’s. Some are of her flirting with Nobunaga in the aftermath, and of her and Erin doing the Tango. A few are shredded, but one is just torn in half and if the pieces are put back together, you can see her shadow isn’t that of a human, or a Hound, but of a giant seven-headed serpent, or at least it is what she sees. It might be nothing more than a hallucination. Your choice.
You can’t choose what stays and what fades away | Open
There are books scattered all over the library, flung onto tables, onto the floor on chairs, as Valdis tears it apart looking for information on rules and demons and anything else that might be binding enough for someone to kill the person they love. It wasn’t a game. No one played games with the lives of their lovers. Even she, in his last, suffering years couldn’t do it. He would have hated what she did next. Hell, she hated what she had done next. But nothing ever could have made her lift a finger against him.
Another book is tossed aside. Damn the fact that these are all fiction. There’s usually some truth in fiction. A frustrated, inhuman sound rises in her throat as she grabs another book off the shelf. The title doesn’t even sound helpful so she throws that one too. She speaks quickly to herself, words that no one but her can understand. Words that would normally carry power if she could only remember how to use them or was even aware she was saying them.
What I thought and what I said | Open
Lies. So many lies and so much manipulation over the years. Those involved with the meeting about the mutiny. Skulduggery had killed Clarke because she was a threat to the Captain. Even if Lord Vile was simply a persona, a part of Skulduggery, he was still Skulduggery. How it must feel to put something behind you only to have it rear its head again…
Valdis is sitting and staring blankly at nothing in the lounge, unaware of everything going on around her, completely lost in her own mind, eyes essentially glossed over. She’s not even blinking. But she is armed, so engage at your own risk.
Wildcard
Anything you want, or PM me to discuss!
What: Valdis does stuff around the Serena Eterna, feel free to join her, unless your name is Nobunaga Oda, and then she’s ignoring you completely
When: January
Where: All over
Warnings: CWs for depression, mention of hallucinations, vague reference to suicide.
You’re my head, you’re my heart | Max Maximum | CW: Mention of Suicide
The days since Skulduggery’s death at the hands of the Captain have been hell. Not just from the overwhelming pain both of them and everyone else had been feeling, but of her own feelings of loss. It was tempting to find a way to destroy herself so she wouldn’t have to feel anything anymore, but it would solve nothing, and her soul was the one thing she had left that she didn’t want to lose. When she finally decides to stop hiding, she just returns to her room, telling Palamedes to not bother her and falls asleep for several days, until a knock comes at the door and she stirs.
And in your place there were a thousand other faces | Bash
Death, and those who touched it often, were not supposed to rest. Skulduggery had said that Vile killed Bash because he couldn’t stand the thought of another Death Bringer. In that respect, Skulduggery not knowing her might have been a mercy. She and Max also might have died. But after what she had said to Bash, and after seeing Jeff during the silence, then Bash dying so violently, guilt seems to be all she is feeling. The man had hurt her, but she had thrown his emotions and fears back at him in a way that only she can, and it had left him feeling like a dark hole of sorrow for weeks, something she could feel from across the ship, no matter where she was. It’s truly a curse, being able to feel. So she’s here, outside his door, ready to knock, knowing he has every right to refuse to speak to her.
“I know you’re in there.” She says, “We can have this conversation one-sided through the door, or you can answer me. Whichever you prefer.”
A Revelation in the light of day | Yato
Valdis is avoiding Nobunaga, she knows whenever he is near and just vanishes before he can ever get close enough to see her. Is it a waste of soul energy when she hasn’t collected any since nearly killing him? Yes. But she wants nothing more to do with him. Yato, however, is a different story. She knows her actions caused him pain, but at least the both of them were alive. She’s on the sports deck when she senses he is nearby and slowly seeks him out. Just after asking him for a new wish, to find something that would make him happy, she does something to hurt him. So many people were hurt that day.
“Yato?”
Would you leave me, if I told you what I’ve done?| CW: Hallucinations? | Open
Valdis sits with her head on the table, seemingly asleep at the Sanddollars, but the entire table is covered in pictures she’s taken from the photo wall. Several of them feature a giant black Hound carrying a disemboweled half transformed Siffleur through the ship, bloody paw prints through the hallways, carnage in Tommy Bahama’s. Some are of her flirting with Nobunaga in the aftermath, and of her and Erin doing the Tango. A few are shredded, but one is just torn in half and if the pieces are put back together, you can see her shadow isn’t that of a human, or a Hound, but of a giant seven-headed serpent, or at least it is what she sees. It might be nothing more than a hallucination. Your choice.
You can’t choose what stays and what fades away | Open
There are books scattered all over the library, flung onto tables, onto the floor on chairs, as Valdis tears it apart looking for information on rules and demons and anything else that might be binding enough for someone to kill the person they love. It wasn’t a game. No one played games with the lives of their lovers. Even she, in his last, suffering years couldn’t do it. He would have hated what she did next. Hell, she hated what she had done next. But nothing ever could have made her lift a finger against him.
Another book is tossed aside. Damn the fact that these are all fiction. There’s usually some truth in fiction. A frustrated, inhuman sound rises in her throat as she grabs another book off the shelf. The title doesn’t even sound helpful so she throws that one too. She speaks quickly to herself, words that no one but her can understand. Words that would normally carry power if she could only remember how to use them or was even aware she was saying them.
What I thought and what I said | Open
Lies. So many lies and so much manipulation over the years. Those involved with the meeting about the mutiny. Skulduggery had killed Clarke because she was a threat to the Captain. Even if Lord Vile was simply a persona, a part of Skulduggery, he was still Skulduggery. How it must feel to put something behind you only to have it rear its head again…
Valdis is sitting and staring blankly at nothing in the lounge, unaware of everything going on around her, completely lost in her own mind, eyes essentially glossed over. She’s not even blinking. But she is armed, so engage at your own risk.
Wildcard
Anything you want, or PM me to discuss!
no subject
"So then you know the demons in it are controlled by him and how. Rules. Unbreakable for demons, not humans or gods. It's the same. Idiots think they can make pacts with demons and trick them and conquer them with rules and laws and pacts and contracts. It doesn't work for them, and that's why the church banned it as heretical -- in my world. Demons will actually just use the laws and pacts to twist it and hurt you with them. Fulfill the obligation by technicalities and make you hate things you thought you wanted, especially the pact itself. If you know Buddhism, you know what the 6th Heaven is, of course? My family was all Buddhist. My father was Buddhist monk. But some of them might convert to Christianity, don't know, I don't talk to most of them, for obvious reasons." He thinks it's obvious.
no subject
"No. That's not quite right. The rules, yes, the demons can't break rules. But the Captain created this place, he makes the rules. Yes, he is also bound by them. I don't think we are though."
It's more than that though.
"I don't think he's a demon. Demons cannot love others for one thing."
no subject
Demons can't love.
Demons can't love????
Demons can't love?!
He stares at her a long time.
"Well he created the winter place, and the excursion places. Not this ship. He adds to it. He stole it from... something. It's all debris. He collects pieces of lost souls from wormholes from the void. Like calls like, so the more he gathers together, the more existence this is and collects more getting bigger. He didn't create the base, just like he didn't create us. That's why he recycles us. This ship is American, so a lot of what gets collected is American too. He didn't create Jenny. You have to ask I don't know, the ones who've been here longer about that though."
The love thing. Nobunaga still gets weird about love. A lot. But this must be why Valdis thought Nobunaga wasn't a demon. And Kennyo worried he would be. Would Kennyo say that Nobunaga wasn't a demon anymore too???
"New question. What kind of demon can still love?"
He needs to throw his head in a bucket of ice water. She's right probably. It makes sense. It's... obvious.
He's an idiot. He's still a demon, but... "Demons don't have souls either. And apparently I do, and so does the Captain. Sometimes demons get their souls by the pacts." He holds up his hands in a shrug, "Supposedly. Obviously I know I was born human. And maybe the human version of me was lent to the demon king, and only the idiot human could come here." Sure Nobunaga, sure. "Okay, other things that the Captain is like--" He's going to hate this. He's going to hate this SO FUCKING MUCH.
Deep breath. "Childish, capricious, mercurial," REMIND YOU OF ANYONE, VALDIS? "A sadist, cruel," lalalala he can't hear you! "Obsessed with apotheosis," can't hear anything, "Only cares about outcomes," FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuu-- "Likes games, -- if he's like me as much as everyone insinuates make that loves games, no matter what you say," mental screaming, "Fire," like all demons, okay, "The heat," Nobuanga likes rain and snow though. "Hates snow and rain," ahhhhhh... "Doesn't war with the sun -- I would. Except I met Amaterasu. Maybe something changed between her sending her descendants to protect Nippon." Probably. "Can't refuse a dare." Fuuuu-- "Is wildly egotistical," literally this one doesn't faze him, who doesn't know that about Nobunaga? He's stupidly egotistical, "Oh, stubborn, too stubborn to ask for help," ha suck on that Captain. Nobunaga could ask for help. 1 - Nobunaga -50 Captain! "Likes sweets," Nobunaga is so annoyed about this. But he can't change it. Does he think it's childish? No! His self-awareness only extends so far okay. "And horror movies."
That's it, that's probably his wealth of knowledge on the Captain. Especially without talking to them.
"Oh," A finger snap. "And names are important to him, obviously. Of course. But I couldn't tell you if that means anything different, since it's how you trap demons, rescue gods, all that." Red eyes narrow on Valdis, like a hawk. "I'm not sure what names mean to you at this point actually."
no subject
"You said fire?" She asks, "Does he shapeshift?"
She's only ever seen the one form.
so much TLDR sorry Valdis, he's an encyclopedia of weird shit
"He travels the void like one, and feeds on despair -- supposedly. But I'm kind of thinking... That's not true. I've been operating under the assumption his magic was fueled by everyone's emotions. But what if he's just an empath? A really --" he points an imaginary finger gun to his head and shoots, "Fucked up one. Or if there's something else torturing him too. He was trapped before, he fears being trapped again. But that's why I brought up the Solomon thing too. The rules -- I don't think are his. Maybe he feared me and Yato could draw attention to their real creators, but I kind of doubt it. Probably just that we'd draw bigger badder void monsters. Oh and I say void, because it's between worlds, and it's all Lovecraftian."
He thinks harder. OH RIGHT HE FORGOT TO SAY: "If the magic -- if his power isn't powered by our emotions, but his own emotions, then it didn't matter what me and Yato did. Because he needed the anguish to resolve it with Skulduggery -- maybe." A long drawn out sigh. "Because clearly I was being as dramatic as I fucking could, and the worst damn part is I thought it was what was needed for him to use his power. And if that's not the case, and if he knew it, then I am going to shoot the stupid skeleton for misleading me. He didn't lie, but he at least pulled a captain on me with very precise wording still being a fucking lie. Even I avoid that annoying shit. But of course, I don't have fucking centuries to be bored enough to play with shit like that."
A GIANT SHRUG. "I've never heard of an empathic demon either. Not even mara - Chinese, maou like me are Japanese, or middle east or Christian or Hebrew. They're in too much pain of their own for that. I mean my own is just intellectual. Or... well... you know." She should at least. There were REALLY easy ways to force Nobunaga to experience other people's emotions, and it was part of why even he could run away sometimes.
"Oh and--" he closes his eyes AND SIGHS. "Things I take for granted. There are 7 decks. I don't know if that matters in your religion, but in Tao, and Japan, 7 is lucky. 6 is universally the sign of the demon king, or Satan, and 4 is death in Japan." His hand reflexively goes to his tattoo on his right arm. No regrets. "Demons usually can't abide sunlight in Japan, but that's -- yanno. Amaterasu. She was on board? But he does not really get to pick and choose who comes on board. He knows about us, but probably only enough to be annoying and protect himself. Do you know anything about Amaterasu? Not that it matters, but even as total darkness, he doesn't mind the sun. Doesn't like water. Um..."
STARES AT THE CEILING A MOMENT. "It feels itchy to me. Well no, specifically holy water. I think I told you about that. I'm not sure why the pools are so close to him, but maybe the chemicals are demonic or mi-go or whatever? I know normally in Japan, demons that can handle water only can do really infected things. Gargoyles purify it right? Those European statue anti-demons?" Give him a moment. Galgoouu ... sure. Gargoyle. Got it. English is weird.
Actually French to Japanese to English but at least it worked.no subject
"No, I don't think he planned for Skulduggery to go on a rampage. He put the rules together afterward, making us force his hand. He turned it into a game so he would have to follow through. Skulduggery said the Captain was the only one he trusted to do it. So...it's possible they came up with it together."
Precise wording. What beings needed precise wording and couldn't lie. Liked fire. Demon's lied constantly. There is no redemption for them. But the idea that the Captain also has a Void, though obviously different from hers throws off that theory. Yet, not everything has to work to the same level as in her world.
"Fire. Precise wording. Cannot lie. Can choose between good and evil. Has to follow rules."
Why is this so familiar?
All better (maybe lol)
"No," Nobunaga can't help the growl, "They didn't. Skulduggery had no idea of the plan at all. Just trusts him.
I asked Teyrey to call you. Like I can call Yato, and he'll be right there. She said she would look for you. So I went to find Skulduggery. I didnt know it was his armor, but I can't lie, he was acting wrong. Even for 'Ava just got killed, and he promised things would be different now, but they're not.' Because her boyfriend was exactly like I'd expect. And I can't tell Cassandra to look for anyone acting in a way that doesn't fit. And then ignore it myself." Fuming.
"He had no plan. He refused to ask for help. I asked, for him, not the Captain, if doing it the Captain's way would make the Captain happier. It's not how Gods should be. God's can't save anyone. People have to save each other, without gods. Even much younger Amaterasu said so. I trust motivations. If that's the Captain's, then the only reason I wouldn't act with Yato to offer a different way, was if it made Skulduggery happier. At least the Captain and- that would be good enough. Right? Do you think they're happy now? They communicated way worse than me and... everyone else."
Red eyes narrow again like a hawk. "Are you absolutely certain the Captain was improvising? Taking the morning to set up the game? Because here's how I see it. He thought this might be coming. Demons or fucked up men like me and him, doesn't even matter what you call us, hurt everyone we ever cherished. He knew his own magics would create a swirl that would latch on, in spite of himself, but probably closest to him. Something malevolent. Something to try to push him back into darkness and grief. Something to try to--" he cuts off. Clearly he's on a roll, but... "I'm sorry. Does my intensity hurt you? Or remind you of those others?" Real demons.
He looks up at the ceiling again. For Yato. For Teyrey.
Oh so very quietly, gently like touching Klaus, not because they aren't strong, but deserve sweetness too. It's hard for him to continue the path of rage like that. Impossible even. "I don't want to be paranoid. I don't have evidence for my suspicions. A winter place, the kitchen, I'm not ungrateful. I just wonder if it wasn't to soften the blow for what he thought he'd have to do. Like Klaus sang Bootylicious to kill me." The anger is softened under the weight of Nobunaga's gentle weighted blanket. Suffocating the flame. This is why softness is his true weakness!! And only Klaus and Skulduggery knew. "He says he'd have to use a song he actually hates next time. Good thing the Captain hates snow. And worries about trees. He comes from the desert."
To Nobunaga, it's all the same. Whatever words or titles you use, a demon is a demon. However, names are important. And maybe knowing what made him forced to obey rules, would give her insight. But Nobunaga is purposely dampening his creative edge with peacebonding. So there's no more from him yet.
no subject
She doesn't remember anything past that though.
"And does that really surprise you if that's what happened? One of your greatest fears is dragging us all to hell with you. But even then, you wouldn't have done it on purpose."
Nobunaga really needs to chill out or at least get out so she can focus.
no subject
"No, that's exactly what I think would happen. And the one difference is, I wouldn't create a place of America's greatest things to appease Klaus, I'd ask everyone else for help, even if they hated me. That's why I did everything I did, Valdis."
He just... Lays on the floor on his back and picks up a book and flips through it. He doesn't realize she'd let him leave at this point, remember?
"I'm not asking to hurt your or insult you, are you able to see past the emotions or are they blinding? I want to ask that better, but I cannot at this time, I'm too overwhelmed. And I'm asking for help, just like I said."
If she wants information, he can DO information, too much of it, usually, but he's going to ask for direction in return. He can only do the abstract. When it comes to things like Arthur being blind? So is Nobunaga. He has to be told.
"Hey. Was --" Hell colorless, no no no no, she doesn't want to remember Hell, stupid. "Have you always seen colors?" It's related. Things everyone else takes for granted.
no subject
"You have the emotional depth of a teaspoon. Now get out so I can actually do something important."
She goes over to pick up her phone and return it to her pocket. She will now commence completely ignoring him again.
no subject
He also won't leave just because she says so, pretending to be engrossed with the book, but eventually he's bored, so he disappears.