come_sailaway | Well this flower is my soul (open)

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Well this flower is my soul (open)

CHARACTERS: Ossie and Giles, and you!
DATE: Early January
LOCATION: Various
SITUATION: Pet an emotional support cat, listen to some music, stop by for tea
WARNINGS: Blanket for changeling nonsense

I should give you every rose that ever grew

There’s not really a private setting aboard the Serena Eternia- it’s a cruise ship, aside from the cabins, the entire thing is engineered to prevent people from getting up to mischief. Ask Ossie how he knows. But the Library has enough cozy nooks that it’s a comfortable setting for Ossie to set up shop. Having taken up the entitlement of the Blackbird Bishops, a Changeling society of caretakers for the lost and despairing, it is now his solemn duty to listen to the troubles of those aboard the ship, and he has a sign at the front of the library advertising his services. He has tea and some cute little biscuits and, crucially, a familiar tuxedo cat on offer to sit on your lap while you talk. Ossie insists on you introducing yourself to ‘Mr Ainsel’ before you talk to him. It’s only polite.

But take this one here for a start

While a significantly riskier affair than usual due to the piano’s newly-acquired taste for flesh, Ossie’s been feeling distinctly sentimental since the trial, and with a newfound appreciation for the Captain’s situation… well, as he says, love is his religion, and there’s nobody he loves more than Giles. So find him practicing and rehearsing a particular song by himself. Or…

With Giles watching from the nearest table, perhaps working on some darning just for something to occupy his hands. It's clear most of his attention is on the serenade, the hearts in his eyes are only one shade off becoming literal, even with the tight control he generally keeps on his expressions. But he'll acknowledge anyone who approaches, and invite them to join him to listen for a spell. Ossie's playing is too good to be kept all to himself, after all.

And you can keep it in your heart

The cottage, as ever, remains open for tea. Perhaps you've been invited round by Ossie at some point, or even by Giles on a rare occasion, either way a knock at either of their cabin doors will have you warmly greeted and invited into their private little sanctuary. Depending on the day, they may both be at home, or only one may be available.

( please include if you want Ossie, Giles, or both of them in the subject line! )

I have everything I need because of you

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"...yes. Yes they did." It is so quiet and shaky, and it's almost afraid this is when it starts leaking.

"It is difficult to come to terms with. Evil, I mean to say. Wrong being done to you. It's far easier to blame oneself- that something is an individual problem. That you were found lacking."

Ossie raises an eyebrow at Mr Ainsel for some additional comfort.

"But often it is simply not true. Wrong would have been done to anyone in your position. This is terrifying, as it means that there is nothing you could have done to prevent it. But... there are benefits to accepting it, as well. Solidarity between those suffering is nothing to sneeze at."

The cat shifts slightly in SecUnit's lap, not entirely spurred by the eyebrow raised in its direction, as it started moving a little before that, and headbutts SecUnit's hands firmly. Rubbing against it in a way that quietly says 'it'll be okay' and also 'pay attention to me'

Mr. Ainsel get the gentlest loving scritches.

"I purr too, now. The ship keeps changing my physiology. First, I had to eat, then I had to sleep and dream and now, I purr when I feel comfortable and I let my guard down. And the purring's okay because it's not the ship trying to make me more human, just...organic in a different way. But it's all a lot of change."

"You're not the only person I've met who's struggled with adjusting to these organicisms," he offers, "many of our kind were wholly inorganic in the fairest lands, machines or beings of stone or glass. I knew a Tin Man once who forgot he had to eat for a week and ended up admitted to hospital after collapsing in public. But, ultimately, having organic functions only means you have those functions. You are wholly and entirely whoever and whatever you proclaim yourself to be."

"That sounds so neat and tidy." It doesn't know if it can believe that...it can just proclaim itself to be something, instead of waiting to be told what it is.

"Is there any reason why it shouldn't be?"

"I could declare myself a toaster, but that doesn't mean I can set my weaponry systems low enough not to destroy a piece of bread."

It says this like it should be self-evident.

"And yet, should you decide to start calling yourself one, there's not a soul aboard who wouldn't happily call you a toaster. And you might find a way to manage to toast that bread in some other manner, if that is what you feel in your metaphorical heart you are called to do."

“Called to do.” It seems to stew on those words. “Which is different from what I was programmed to do?”

"If you believe it to be so. I spent a hundred years entertaining at dinner parties and still chose to do it when I escaped, wot? Sometimes it is a different question, of doing something for yourself as opposed to doing it for others."

“Oh.“

Something there seems to either shatter slightly or click into place, it’s hard to tell which.

Ossie's just going to sip his tea like he didn't drop a bombshell. That question of 'pick it back up or set it down' is fundamental to all Changelings, something they all must grapple with sometime.

And here the fucking murderbot is, just realizing for the first time that it can still provide security, as if it hasn’t been doing so the whole time, and it is big and profound and overwhelming and all of this reads as clear as day on its face.

It pets the cat quietly as if that’s a purpose too, in the meantime.

"May I also note, you don't need to have all of this worked out right this very moment. You can take all the time you need to chew on it. So to speak, wot."

"I know I have time. I have nothing but time here, I don't sleep as much as the humans and there's a lot of quiet to think about things. I just." It's not that it wants answers prescribed to it; it just wants to already have the answers. Which is a shitty place to be.

Huff. Pet-pet-pet.

"Setting aside what I want to be, I've also begun to have. Stronger feelings about some people. They matter more to me. They're...special."

Wow does this cyborg ever have a lot of problems. Ossie might need some more tea for this.

"SecUnit, this is perhaps something I ought to have asked when you sat down- and something I'll need to remember to ask others- but what is it you're looking for here? Kvetching? Advice? Permission to feel however it is you're feeling?"

"I don't know."

It glances up at Ossie. "What did you think you were offering?"

"Whatever it is you need."

"Well, that's hardly helpful. You think I have any kind of idea of what I need?" But there's humor under those words, self-mocking as they may be. "I guess advice would help, if you have any on hand. I don't know what I'm doing. I hardly ever do. And I want to make sure that these people who I care about are safe with me. That I don't hurt them or upset them."

"People are usually experts on their own condition," Ossie answers, mildly.

"Which is precisely the advice I'd give in any case. Regardless of your relationship to these people, the key is curiousity, attentiveness, and care. Listen to them, believe them when they tell you what they need, and- well, I'd offer the advice to write down certain specifics that they like or dislike, but that oughtn't be an issue for you, would it?"

"No, not an issue at all. Digital memory, unless it's purged again."

The last word is quieter than the rest.

Ossie's grip tightens on his teacup almost imperceptibly.

"I see."

If you don't have anything nice to say, after all...

It lets Ossie's noncommittal words hang in the air for several moments longer than necessary, looking down at the top of the cat's head.

Unless it looks up, in which case Murderbot glances away. Even eye contact with an animal feels like much right now.

The cat doesn't look up, but it does nudge gently at SecUnit's chest, trying to provide a silent reassurance, purring all the while.

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ossie_oswald - 2023-01-22 01:41 (UTC) - Expand

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