Eridan Ampora (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
uncodlyawwesome) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
come_sailaway2023-02-02 06:07 pm
uncodlyawwesome) wrote in come_sailaway2023-02-02 06:07 pm
[open] the caring and keeping of trollish sentiment
Who: Eridan Ampora and you!
What: Someone is acting TOTALLY NORMAL about a DUMB HUMAN HOLIDAY.
When: February, thru Valentine's Day
Where: The cabin hallway, Mikabo, and the promenade
Warnings: None so far, will update if necessary
Notes: Eridan's mostly active from 4pm to 5am. there's a 50/50 chance he'll decide to simp over your character regardless of who they are... tis the season!
1a. [Cabin 160] the art of exterior decorating
[Eridan opens his door one evening early in February and walks right into a smattering of chintzy paper hearts and glittery red streamer. the first few seconds of flailing are a trigger response to feeling something almost but not entirely like the Bahanamal touch his head. the next few minutes are a more purposeful tantrum as he furiously rips the cheap decor down, complete with meticulously tearing up a heart and then stomping on the remains. he glares around the hall, but he doesn't know anyone well enough for them to pull this kind of miserable stunt on him. nobody here even knows about his painfully scorned love life except for Karkat and Nepeta, and neither of them hate him this much.
that doesn't stop him from giving anyone nearby an absolutely devestating stink-eye as he destroys more Valentine's decor. Yeah, you over there, eyeballing him, he sees you! If you had anything to do with this, you better fess the fuck up or mind your own goddamn business!!!]
2. [Mikabo] the art of custom sushi rolls
[he thinks he's safe when he makes it all the way up to the Promenade without seeing any massive displays of hearts or other flushed symbolism. there are a few places with familiar hearts plastered to the wall and stuff like that, but nothing on the level of his own door.
unfortunately, he's quickly reminded of the situation as he sits down for breakfast/dinner and is met with a rotating selection of HEART-SHAPED SUSHI, many covered with an UNIDENTIFIED PINK SAUCE. the normal options are few and far between, and even the sashimi comes out curled into heart shapes around lumps of wasabi.
it turns out that the PINK SAUCE is actually just mayonnaise with color added to it, but still. weird..
he stares at whoever enters while he's there, as usual, but he's decidedly not accusatory when he asks:] Just wwhat the fuck is goin' on, here?!
1b. [Cabin 160] the art of investigating a crime
[it seems like no matter what Eridan decides to do, he's destined to return to a door decorated in flush red hearts and pale pink diamonds. (they're actually just badly shaped stars, but nobody tell him, he's having a moment.) he tears everything down with the same vigor the first few times, but that doesn't seem to stop the paper flowers and glossy plastic streamers from adorning the frame. now that the anger and outrage have given way to confusion, he's not tearing things apart so much as he is carefully examining each piece as he removes it.
he doesn't seem to notice if anyone's watching this time around, mostly because he is deeply dedicated to his new human holiday research. it's fucking weird, is what he's getting.] Wwhat do angels havve to do wwith matespritship? And the mortal wwounds... wwhat does that mean?
3. [All Over] the art of cultural osmosis
[this investigation eventually expands from his cabin to the ship as a whole. there's a non-zero chance that you might encounter him staring critically at a random Valentine's day arrangement, as if trying to analyze a particularly obscure bit of modern art. he treats them as if they're up for grabs, and occasionally plucks one off the walls -- usually ones with pictures of cartoon fish with shitty slogans like "I REELY like you" or "It's o-FISH-al, I'm HOOKED on you!"
(look, being fish-themed is a full-time gig!)]
[wildcard] the art of making shit up as we go
(throw whatever you want at the fishboy, or hmu for plotting!!!)
What: Someone is acting TOTALLY NORMAL about a DUMB HUMAN HOLIDAY.
When: February, thru Valentine's Day
Where: The cabin hallway, Mikabo, and the promenade
Warnings: None so far, will update if necessary
Notes: Eridan's mostly active from 4pm to 5am. there's a 50/50 chance he'll decide to simp over your character regardless of who they are... tis the season!
1a. [Cabin 160] the art of exterior decorating
[Eridan opens his door one evening early in February and walks right into a smattering of chintzy paper hearts and glittery red streamer. the first few seconds of flailing are a trigger response to feeling something almost but not entirely like the Bahanamal touch his head. the next few minutes are a more purposeful tantrum as he furiously rips the cheap decor down, complete with meticulously tearing up a heart and then stomping on the remains. he glares around the hall, but he doesn't know anyone well enough for them to pull this kind of miserable stunt on him. nobody here even knows about his painfully scorned love life except for Karkat and Nepeta, and neither of them hate him this much.
that doesn't stop him from giving anyone nearby an absolutely devestating stink-eye as he destroys more Valentine's decor. Yeah, you over there, eyeballing him, he sees you! If you had anything to do with this, you better fess the fuck up or mind your own goddamn business!!!]
2. [Mikabo] the art of custom sushi rolls
[he thinks he's safe when he makes it all the way up to the Promenade without seeing any massive displays of hearts or other flushed symbolism. there are a few places with familiar hearts plastered to the wall and stuff like that, but nothing on the level of his own door.
unfortunately, he's quickly reminded of the situation as he sits down for breakfast/dinner and is met with a rotating selection of HEART-SHAPED SUSHI, many covered with an UNIDENTIFIED PINK SAUCE. the normal options are few and far between, and even the sashimi comes out curled into heart shapes around lumps of wasabi.
it turns out that the PINK SAUCE is actually just mayonnaise with color added to it, but still. weird..
he stares at whoever enters while he's there, as usual, but he's decidedly not accusatory when he asks:] Just wwhat the fuck is goin' on, here?!
1b. [Cabin 160] the art of investigating a crime
[it seems like no matter what Eridan decides to do, he's destined to return to a door decorated in flush red hearts and pale pink diamonds. (they're actually just badly shaped stars, but nobody tell him, he's having a moment.) he tears everything down with the same vigor the first few times, but that doesn't seem to stop the paper flowers and glossy plastic streamers from adorning the frame. now that the anger and outrage have given way to confusion, he's not tearing things apart so much as he is carefully examining each piece as he removes it.
he doesn't seem to notice if anyone's watching this time around, mostly because he is deeply dedicated to his new human holiday research. it's fucking weird, is what he's getting.] Wwhat do angels havve to do wwith matespritship? And the mortal wwounds... wwhat does that mean?
3. [All Over] the art of cultural osmosis
[this investigation eventually expands from his cabin to the ship as a whole. there's a non-zero chance that you might encounter him staring critically at a random Valentine's day arrangement, as if trying to analyze a particularly obscure bit of modern art. he treats them as if they're up for grabs, and occasionally plucks one off the walls -- usually ones with pictures of cartoon fish with shitty slogans like "I REELY like you" or "It's o-FISH-al, I'm HOOKED on you!"
(look, being fish-themed is a full-time gig!)]
[wildcard] the art of making shit up as we go
(throw whatever you want at the fishboy, or hmu for plotting!!!)
no subject
"Wwell, wwe sure don't havve holidays dedicated to flimsy displays of affection! Wwe treat romance as the biological imperative it is. No time to cut paper hearts out wwhen the drones are bangin' on the door!"
no subject
Rather than attempt to debate these relative merits, a prospect that fills Eleanor with about as much dread and horror as realizing a septic tank has not merely backed up but exploded, she rubs her chin and says, "Do your people not have...homosexual relationships?"
no subject
"Wwhat the fuck does that mean."
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It's one thing Rapture had gotten right. With the wrong math equation but like, still. Between its founding and its collapse there was a period where a queer person could have a good time under the sea.
Terms and conditions apply.
no subject
He's completely not registering the fact that she's implying only one human sex can reproduce. Mostly because he can't imagine the true horror of human reproduction...
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He absolutely does not forget, he just doesn't give a shit because he's kind of an asshole.
"Trolls havve four types'a romance. Twwo concupiscent, twwo conciliatory, all four vvital to a healthy population. Matespritships are based on flushed affection and pity. That's wwhat hearts stand for. Then there's kismesissitudes, wwhich is the one no humans seem to fuckin' understand. The conciliatory ones are pale and ashen, moirallegiance and auspisticism, but nobody evver cares about those."
He's just being coy to save everyone from a 3-page monologue on the importance of rivalries to the sexual satisfaction of trolls.
no subject
There's too many possibilities. A quick fling? Yearning? Do trolls need a romance that has ended in order to reproduce?
Is there going to be a three page monologue?
no subject
That doesn't mean he's going to just end it there, though. Noooo, he just can't have Karkat be the only asshole out there telling people about quadrants! "Kismesisitude is all about romantic hatred, instead'a its regular platonic type. Fiery, passionate rivalry wwhere evvery defeat is wweighed against you in your kismesis' eyes."
Somebody sure likes the idea of that. Whether or not he can actually handle romantic rivalry -- well, it's pretty proven that no, he's not very good at it.
"Ashen relationships keep other black relationships from formin', an' matesprits... are destined to help you keep from losin' your shit in general."
no subject
She can't just sit here and not eat the sushi. Eleanor gets some chopsticks so she can think and eat at the same time. Aside from being violently pink it's like, edible. Not as good as it was before it got like this, but edible. "Forgive my ignorance sir but it does seem like one would tear through kismesis fairly swiftly without careful negotiation, does it not? To hate someone is to seek their destruction, and one can hardly romance a corpse."
Right? Eleanor sincerely hopes she's not about to hear about romancing corpses.
(pretend that last "matesprit" was "moirail" shhh i know quadrants real good)
It says a lot about Eridan that he almost completely forgets about one of the most important parts of kismesissitude, chewing with a look of dissatisfaction on his face before finally remembering:
"Plus, that's wwhat auspistices are for. They get in betwween you and a potential kismesis, so you don't wwind up committin' black infidelity. The nosier an' more obnoxious they are, the better they are at their job."
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"There's lots'a wways to do it. Could be it's someone you knoww wwho slowwly ovverwwhelms you wwith pitch affection, doin' somethin' particularly fuckin' stupid or maybe sayin' somethin' that raises your hackles just-fuckin'-so. Sometimes you just see 'em and knoww wwith one look that you wwanna be locked in eternal battle wwith them." He waves a hand. "You find a button to push an' you ram your finger on it, ovver and ovver, and if they see wwhat you're puttin' dowwn, they'll reciprocate in a likeminded fashion."
no subject