[OPEN + CLOSED] And sooner or later, it's over

[midnightroads]

When: Post-Carnival February
Where: Chatterbox, Tauva, etc.
Summary: Bash is not doing well. But he's coping?
Warnings:

1. And I don't want the world to see me [Closed to Ossie]
Erin and Giles have both suggested that maybe Bash talk to Ossie, but he's been a little shy, a little chickenshit about it, but like. He's finally worked up the courage to send a text. Like, nothing huge, nothing that's going to rock his or Ossie's world. In fact, it's only three words. Eight letters and a punctuation mark.

hey u busy?

This is what an act of bravery looks like.


2. 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand [Chatterbox]
Of course, there's another thing someone can do when they're upset. They can sing about it.

Bash has been hyperaware of the fact that his boyfriend's a whole bard, so he didn't really tell Jeff where he was going on this particular night before sneaking out to Chatterbox and occupying the stage. He's, uh. He's sure doing some feeling-y songs, from Green Day's "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" to MCR's "I'm Not Okay (I Promise) to some early Linkin Park. Look, he's just laying it all out on the stage while he's alone. Because he is alone, right? There's no one about to walk in and see him pouring his guts out.

Right?


3. When everything's made to be broken [Sand Dollars]
Some things are a constant. Bash taking time to make coffee for people is one of them. In some other universe, he might have had a cafe, but in this one, all he has is Sand Dollars, and the time he gets with anyone who wants a cuppa.

Come say hi, he's brewing the good shit today.


4. I just want you to know who I am [Wildcard]
darkersolstice or darkersolstice#9463 to plot

Comments

[midnightroads]

"Honestly, it's not the deathly shit you need to worry about most with me. I can raise corpses--mindless zombies, not flesh-eaters. Puppets more than anything. But the berserker rage I picked up from Sundries recently, that's kinda scary, but it falls within the purview of war gods, not death-ish ones. Teleporting through shadows, walking through walls. I can silver weapons with a touch, or even non-weapons. But I'm not killing with a touch or controlling ghosts or any of the high level shit you'd expect of a death deity."

When regains come in, well...it still will be more darkness to fear than death.

[redlightgreenlight]

Luckily, the only thing that concerns her in everything he mentions is the berserker rage. The animal. Why do people always thing that giving into the animal will make them more powerful. It hadn't worked for Daisy. But at least she knows she can stop Bash with her own death magic.

"So what. You want me to help you control your rage? My empathy doesn't work like that. I can't make you feel things that you don't feel. And yes, I could probably take you out if I had to, but I don't want to kill anyone without a really good reason. Not if I have another choice."

She could drain him like she did Nobunaga and Daisy, but something is telling her that she shouldn't.

[midnightroads]

"No, I don't...my rage isn't a wild thing I don't have a leash on, it's more something I can sink into when I need to--I'm just fucking scared shitless of the idea of needing to. I need to know that I can let it loose, if the time ever comes, and know that I can come back from it."

It's more like going Super Saiyan or a D&D barbarian rage than that unwanted animal that wants nothing more than to be let out. Especially since Bash has lived his entire life being scared of being angry, mundanely angry, as if allowing himself to experience that emotion is abusive in itself, inherently.

[redlightgreenlight]

"I can't read your mind, only your emotions. You are afraid of your anger. Of lashing out. I understand that."

Because he told her in addition to her being able to feel it.

"But I get the feeling that you think this is something I am equipped to help you with and others may not be. I am open to helping, you just need to tell me how."

If he needs help finding a center, or a shift between states, then she can help. But he may have another idea in mind.

[midnightroads]

He shakes his head.

"Fuck, maybe just follow me into Tommy Bahama sometime, deep in where no one else is, and cover my ass while I let loose, see if I can keep a handle on myself enough to be scary and angry without being a threat to those I want to protect. Is that something I can ask you to do?"

Someone there to witness him, to stop him if he truly slips out of control, that'd mean a lot.

[redlightgreenlight]

Valdis sits back, gaze dropping to the cup of coffee. Even if he can't control himself, she can stop him the same way she stopped Daisy. If necessary. If she has no other choice.

"I can do that for you, Bash."

[midnightroads]

"Thank you, Valdis. It won't be a right away thing, I know my head's not in the right place for it right now. But at some point...we'll see what happens."

[redlightgreenlight]

Perhaps it's only fitting that an Angel of Death, a Hellhound, would end up on this vessel. Corrupted as she may be, people keep asking for help, for love, for who she is. But it's not fair.

"I suppose we will."

Hopefully they won't ever need him to. But...It's the Serena Eterna, anything could happen.