Siffleur (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
teethoftherisk) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
come_sailaway2023-03-07 01:05 pm
teethoftherisk) wrote in come_sailaway2023-03-07 01:05 pm
then I found a place, it's dark and it's rotted [memeshare - open]
Who: Siffleur and you
What: Memory sharing & an opt-in
When: throughout March
Where: various
Warnings: Body horror, medical gore, cannibalism, death, suicide, suicidal idealization, child neglect, possible discussions of past sexual assault in first prompt, unreality
1) The River
On the banks of a newly defrosted river, a young women who looks to be in her mid-twenties kneels by the ice cold waters. The snow has melted, but there's a chill in the air that can't be shaken. Her hair is dirty and matted, and she's wearing a stained dress that's too big for her. Beside her is a freshly birthed baby, half-transformed between human and cougar, screaming in pain.
The woman isn't handling it well. Siffleur is about 10 minutes old and he's also not handling it well either.
2) The Forest
In an old growth forest in the height of summer, a small cougar kitten has left the den where his mother sleeps to play in the grass and chase the large dragonflies that dart around. Siffleur is very young and very curious, and though he usually avoids other people, today he's feeling brave enough to investigate anything new and novel. He's climbing a old fallen log in pursuit of a particularly shiny dragonfly that's resting on the end.
But he loses his grip when he sees someone new in the clearing, falling back and going head over heels, rolling back a few times before landing paws up.
3) The City
In a rundown city just across the Canadian border, a teen boy sits outside a convenience store. His clothing is dirty and stained, and he hasn't washed in at least two weeks. His stomach growls and he watches carefully as people slowly trickle in and out of the store. Siffleur's shaggy hair hangs in his eyes and he doesn't ask for help - he just watches each person as they exit their car.
There's someone here who wasn't there before. His yellow eyes snap to them, quickly looking them up and down.
4) The Small Town
In a place with a population of less than a 1000 people, less than six half-paved streets and one bar, Siffleur sits at the bar with a beer. His cellphone buzzes now and then but he's left it laying face down, not bothering to check it. There's plenty of empty stools around him - less of an invitation and more of a warning.
On the TVs, Ottawa is playing Anaheim, but from the dour mood of those folks watching the screens, it's clear that a Canadian team isn't going to win this Stanley Cup. Occasionally, Siffleur glances back, looking for someone who isn't here yet.
5) Killing Myself In Front Of You To Change The Trajectory Of Your Life Forever (Opt-In, TW: Suicide)
This isn't Siffleur's memory - it's one of yours.
Perhaps it's something personal, something traumatic and private, the kind of thing you would hate to have seen by anyone. Perhaps it's of better times, good days, drinks, laughter, that kind of thing. Maybe it's just another quiet mundane day.
It doesn't matter. The moment he realizes he's in your memory, Siffleur acts instantly and decisively, and kills himself. There's no hesitation. If there's danger he can use to do it, he does - throwing himself against the obvious monsters, picking a fight with something that's ready to rip him to shreds. Or, if not that, then he'll do the job himself with a kitchen knife if available, or anything sharp.
And in the most dire of circumstances where there's nothing for him to use at all? Well... here's your front row seat to a memory of a complete stranger looking around, grabbing his head between his hands and snapping his own neck.
He'll be back on the ship the next day, carefully avoiding the cracks as he attempts to shuffle away from his cabin and over to the buffet to eat breakfast. Feel free to ambush him for an answer then.
What: Memory sharing & an opt-in
When: throughout March
Where: various
Warnings: Body horror, medical gore, cannibalism, death, suicide, suicidal idealization, child neglect, possible discussions of past sexual assault in first prompt, unreality
1) The River
On the banks of a newly defrosted river, a young women who looks to be in her mid-twenties kneels by the ice cold waters. The snow has melted, but there's a chill in the air that can't be shaken. Her hair is dirty and matted, and she's wearing a stained dress that's too big for her. Beside her is a freshly birthed baby, half-transformed between human and cougar, screaming in pain.
The woman isn't handling it well. Siffleur is about 10 minutes old and he's also not handling it well either.
2) The Forest
In an old growth forest in the height of summer, a small cougar kitten has left the den where his mother sleeps to play in the grass and chase the large dragonflies that dart around. Siffleur is very young and very curious, and though he usually avoids other people, today he's feeling brave enough to investigate anything new and novel. He's climbing a old fallen log in pursuit of a particularly shiny dragonfly that's resting on the end.
But he loses his grip when he sees someone new in the clearing, falling back and going head over heels, rolling back a few times before landing paws up.
3) The City
In a rundown city just across the Canadian border, a teen boy sits outside a convenience store. His clothing is dirty and stained, and he hasn't washed in at least two weeks. His stomach growls and he watches carefully as people slowly trickle in and out of the store. Siffleur's shaggy hair hangs in his eyes and he doesn't ask for help - he just watches each person as they exit their car.
There's someone here who wasn't there before. His yellow eyes snap to them, quickly looking them up and down.
4) The Small Town
In a place with a population of less than a 1000 people, less than six half-paved streets and one bar, Siffleur sits at the bar with a beer. His cellphone buzzes now and then but he's left it laying face down, not bothering to check it. There's plenty of empty stools around him - less of an invitation and more of a warning.
On the TVs, Ottawa is playing Anaheim, but from the dour mood of those folks watching the screens, it's clear that a Canadian team isn't going to win this Stanley Cup. Occasionally, Siffleur glances back, looking for someone who isn't here yet.
5) Killing Myself In Front Of You To Change The Trajectory Of Your Life Forever (Opt-In, TW: Suicide)
This isn't Siffleur's memory - it's one of yours.
Perhaps it's something personal, something traumatic and private, the kind of thing you would hate to have seen by anyone. Perhaps it's of better times, good days, drinks, laughter, that kind of thing. Maybe it's just another quiet mundane day.
It doesn't matter. The moment he realizes he's in your memory, Siffleur acts instantly and decisively, and kills himself. There's no hesitation. If there's danger he can use to do it, he does - throwing himself against the obvious monsters, picking a fight with something that's ready to rip him to shreds. Or, if not that, then he'll do the job himself with a kitchen knife if available, or anything sharp.
And in the most dire of circumstances where there's nothing for him to use at all? Well... here's your front row seat to a memory of a complete stranger looking around, grabbing his head between his hands and snapping his own neck.
He'll be back on the ship the next day, carefully avoiding the cracks as he attempts to shuffle away from his cabin and over to the buffet to eat breakfast. Feel free to ambush him for an answer then.
no subject
And that's where he stays right until he cracks an eye open and catches a glimpse of a dragonfly. He squeaks and squirms in her arms to get upright, his little head trying to follow the dragonfly. There's something about how they shine in the light that's so lovely and he squeaks at her a few times before he tries to jump out of her arms after it, forgetting he's now five feet off the ground.
no subject
no subject
Siffleur's none worse for the wear though, just covered in bits of leaves and sticks, his back paws kicking at the air a few times in the excitement of catching the dragonfly.
From the bushes behind Maeve, there's a soft laugh. "Isn't he a silly one?"
no subject
"My name is Maeve. I truly mean him no harm. He's quite young and rather precocious. My own child would have likely wanted to play along at this age." Not that she was ever that age. But children are like that, really.
no subject
Siffleur turns over and then squeaks as he spots his mother, quickly running over to her. She gives the top of his head a lick, then nudges him to go back to his playing. It's only when he looks away does she speak again. "I never cared much for children before him. But he was sweet. And you? Did you know you would enjoy being a mother, or was it something that you learned?"
no subject
She laughs as Siffleur runs over to his mother and runs off. "I was never given a choice," she says after a moment. "Or, well, I guess I did, but not without a jolt awake." She considers something for a moment. "I'm sure you can tell...if you're like your son, that I am not...fully human." A beat. "Well, that I am not really human at all." She looks down at her. "I was built by humans. I was made to look as close to humans as possible, to act as close to humans as possible. But I am an android of sorts. We're called Hosts. I hope this won't trouble you to know."
no subject
"I see... we're alike then. It was chosen for us." She considers this, and almost unconsciously, her paws reach out to kneed at the dirt, tearing thick tracks through it over and over again. Her eyes are on Maeve and she nods, a human expression first and foremost. "It reassures me. As the boy would say, you may not be human, but you're a person. I hope you're able to maintain yourself. Machines are tricky these days. All the parts are built to be specific, to reject generics, to be... mmmm, to be property of the company forever and ever, forever and ever and ever. No one ever leaves."
no subject
There's a nod. "Yes. I don't regret it, though." She looks over, watching as she paws at the ground. "It's something I struggled with. Trusting that people would see that I was also a person. Not many did where I was before." She smiles a little. "I can see to most of my concerns, but I'm sure I'll learn more as I go. I don't have a way to replace myself anyway."
no subject
For a moment, her skin twitches and she bends her head down, pressing her snout to the green grass at their feet. Siffleur finally manages to catch one of the dragonflies, snapping his jaws on it. He quickly trots over to them to show his mother and the lady, opening his mouth. On his tongue, the dragonfly twitches, wings broken and body partly snapped in half.
At the sight of him, she raises her head and takes a breath, returning somewhat to normal. Her ears perk up and she gives him a nudge. "Very good, Fleur. What a hunter you'll soon make. Don't you agree, Maeve? Fierce little fellow, snapping up dragons and flies."
no subject
She is curious about Siffleur's mother. It's one thing to understand someone from another person's perspective and another to learn more from her here. Even if it is questionable information.
There's a small laugh at the presentation of the dragonfly. "Fleur," she says softly. "Yes. He is a delightfully skilled hunter." She's more than aware of the stories, but she has not participated.
no subject
Her tail lashes but this is a peaceful memory and it's easy to calm herself here, to just soothe herself with the warm sun and green grass. She sighs and tips her face up. "I wish you luck keeping yourself out of anyone's hands, here now and forever after. Terrible things happen when slivers of majesty find their way into the hands of the unethically curious."
The cougar laughs softly and nods. "I've seen. I never imagined he could be truly happy as a man. How wonderful that he's found a world that suits him so well. We should all be so lucky to find our gloves to be so snug inside of."
no subject
"I have experienced it already. Years of it. It took me so long to know what I was and what they did, but once I did...they could never force me to go back." There's a sigh. "I was made to die. Over and over. As entertainment. But I am free now." Free enough, anyway. As free as anyone can be when the ship is involved.
She watches Siffleur quietly. "I am glad to see that he is happy, too. Do you find your glove does not fit as well?"
no subject
Siffleur eats his dragonfly and then flops on Maeve's foot, purring at both women. His mother lays her head on her paws and watches him, clearly delighted by how relaxed he is. "It fit poorly for many years. I wasn't meant for two bodies, meant to be meat that changes shapes. But it's different now. I'm happy where I am. I'm safe where I am, here and there, tucked in memories that always end the way I expect them to. I had to stitch my own glove in the end... and it sounds like in your end, you had to stitch your own glove too. No wonder he finds you so comforting to speak with."
no subject
She smiles down at him, reaching down to give him a little head scritch. He's so cute at this age. "I'm glad that you feel different now. I am sorry that you suffered before that." She nods. "Sometimes that's how it works out. I'm not sure what life will bring me, but hopefully I will get some idea of it. For now, I'm choosing to believe I get the ending I want." A beat. "I'm glad he's comfortable with me. He's fond of you as well. It's easy to tell."
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Siffleur squeaks a few times with pleasure as he gets the scratches he wants, and he goes up on his hind legs to grab onto her hand, trying to pull her down to sit so he can scramble into her lap. His little purrs are loud and happy, the sound of a child who has gotten everything he wants this golden afternoon.
"I am sorry that you suffered as well. I hope you always feel as safe and in control as I now feel." Her ear flicks a few times and she chuckles softly. "I've never once doubted how much he loved me. I worry sometimes though. He has so much love for me, and so little for himself... but he's learned to love others the way he loves me. That's good enough. He has people like you now, real friends and confidants. Truly incredible that what he needed most in life was to be trapped on a murder ship."
no subject
She easily lets herself be made to sit down, laughing a little as he climbs into her lap. "You are quite the little cuddlebug, aren't you, darling?" She is happy in this moment. It's uncomplicated and sweet, something she feels like she's been missing for a while.
"I do. For the most part." She smiles a little. "He talks about you often enough." She laughs softly. "Sometimes a murder ship is all anyone needs. But things are a little concerning there now. I'm sure we'll figure it out, but we can't usually slip into memories."
no subject
His mother nods, rubbing her face against the grass a few times. "Oh yes, bad to worse all the time. I'm sure you'll pull through though - you all seem like survivors. And you have powerful allies out there. I was frightened the first time someone came through into his mind. I couldn't decide if she was there to gobble me up, or to devour him... but she was just a friend. I frightened her badly though. She's worried I'll devour Siffleur, kill everyone, grow into a monster... And perhaps another time, I could."
Her tail thumps a few times on the grass. She looks at Maeve holding her son, and she feels no desire to do anything but lie here in the sun and enjoy this impossible memory, and this impossible conversation. "It's a shame you can't visit this moment anytime you wish. I've enjoyed your company. Make sure to give the boy a scratch now and then. He likes it best if you get the right side of his chin."
The haze is growing warmer, brighter. Siffleur is falling asleep, and so the memory is slowly fading to an end. But even as the light begins to blot out the world, those steady purrs and rumbles continue from Siffleur until the very last moment.
no subject
She gives her a smile. "It is a shame, yes. I would be happy to spend more time with you both like this. Delores used to say that she always looked for the beauty in life. I think this counts. I can replay this memory whenever I like at least if I forget that." She smiles. "I'll be sure to remember that for later. He deserves it. I hope you can be well. To hold onto the beauty in life as well."
But as the vision fades and she finds herself back on the Serena Eterna, she feels at peace. There is nothing bad. Maybe just a little sad. But she makes her way to the deck where she can sit and stare at the sky for a while, for something to do.