come_sailaway | [Semi-Open] DYWTYLM

Entry tags:

[Semi-Open] DYWTYLM

Who: Wayne and CR
What: Trying to cope with the changes around here
When: Any time after leaving The Tube Room
Where: Throughout the ship
Warnings: Depression and existential ennui

Do you duck into deep blue safety? (All CR)
Wayne practically lives up on Deck Six, where he can get a decent amount of sun, soak in the hot tubs, or go and hide out down in the bottom of the pool when it doesn't seem as if anyone would notice or worry about him with everything else that's been happening in the aftermath. He keeps to where he can have an eye out on others coming and going when he's not down underwater. Which he is fairly often, likely to the chagrin of a few that know that he does this sometimes, regardless of whether or not they know he doesn't actually need to breathe. Nowadays at least he's got a relatively simple lifeline: A water-tight bag for his phone. It's not a perfect or permanent solution, but it's better than not having it at all. It means if someone wants to get ahold of him when he's down there, they can.

Someone may also simply spot him down there as they walk by, or do laps. His yellow kind of sticks out against the blue of the pool bottom.

Do you know what it is? (Close CR)
Wayne spends more time away from the rest of the ship now than he had in the months since his arrival. Call it depression, call it self-isolation, either way, the result is the same. He doesn't leave Cabin 144 for days at a time. At least he's clean, if a little bit cluttered, his bed remaining unmade most of the time and his cat figures still sitting on every available surface. There are even a couple of new ones, by now enough that he thinks perhaps he should label them.

For now, he simply exists on his own, sometimes plucking idle tunes without the need for an amplifier, other times simply dissociating in the familiar dimness of the cabin. He won't ignore anyone that comes to check in, but they may notice the light compression patches on his skin where he's leaned his head against the side of the couch or a wall for long periods.

Are you trying to live? (Wildcard)
Wayne looks lost, more often than not these days. He's been given a lot to think about recently, and all of it comes back to the sheer, crushing weight of the anxiety. It may have shifted in form, but it is very much something that he now lives with on a more present level. And now, other people know that it's a problem. Which in and of itself is a problem.

No matter where he ends up, be it the Lounge where he'll generally be curled up with a book from the library, or staring out of a window with the most dead-eyed expression, or at Sand Dollars or Stellar in the morning, Windjammer or Mikabo in the evening, or just up wherever there's a rail that he can sit beside, arms crossed atop it and eyes out on the not-so-infinite water.

It's getting harder to be (myself) (Closed, for Gil)
They needed to talk about things. He knows that. It's hard to think when he's not around the man, and he knows it's because of the attachment that he's long since given up on the idea of it being friendly or platonic. He's nervous, oh yes, but he also realizes that he can't just say that Gil is humoring him or playing along and letting him down as slowly and gently as possible. But he needs to know where they stand in the days following the head chamber, and the hourglass chamber that they'd awoken in. He needs to see him.

can I visit?

A message sent off late in the evening, when most everyone else seemed to be about to turn in. Nevermind that he's leaning against the wall opposite Gil's cabin door, wavering back and forth on whether to just invite himself in. In the end, he opts simply to wait.

I cannot hope to give you what I cannot give myself (Closed, for Crichton)
He'd promised to fix Crichton's shattered nose as soon as he had the material for it. Unfortunately, this had taken a few days thanks to the broken new system of restocking. Maybe not long at all in the grand scheme, but at least a couple of days longer than would have been preferable. But in the end, he's found what he needed: a cupcake, with pink frosting and plain white paper. He's already headed toward where he'd last spotted his friend, and doesn't actually think to take out his phone to warn the man that he's on his way. After all, he's got a cupcake! This is phenomenal news that needs to be delivered in person!

"Commander! Guess what!"

Smile back...at me...oh please... (Closed, for Helena)
He needed to sleep so badly, he had ended up passing out in his cabin before he could actually touch base with Helena again. He'd spent so long out of commission that it wasn't for another couple of days that he messaged her, already feeling guilty over the idea that he'd managed to worry her yet again.

remember when i was talking abt the cats in my cabin
and you talked about a larva

He's looking up at the pretty frosted crystal cat that represents her, now with her name written on its underside in marker.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Klaus levitates up so he can watch as everything unfolds, peeking at where the notebook is kept. Not that it'll really do anything. They aren't gonna steal from where it is or whatever. They're just being nosy. But they look at the drawings, humming softly.

"Huh. That's gotta be weird to think about. I mean, I guess not that more weird than reincarnation, though. I mostly just existed in my void and then got back out. I don't think I stayed long most of the time." They lean back. "Only really had conversations with the girl on the bike. She's god? I think. Anyway. She didn't actually talk to me the second time. Just kind of weird staring and pointing."

But that was a bad vibe and they don't think Wayne really needs to know about that now. Hopefully he avoided the tiny version of himself on the wall anyway. "But I guess that's cool. That part of you will be with another Wayne. Whoever they are."

There's nothing of interest down there anyway. A party pack of pink paper cups that he fully intends to take back to Dedusmuln in the event that he can get home. A couple of kittens that didn't have enough room to sit up with the rest of them after he'd gotten them.

"Not really." It's not weird for him, considering it was just what happened in his world. He may not know if it's a unique case for Waynes, but it is what he's used to. But he could see where it might be for someone like Klaus, considering how weirded out Wayne himself is about things like gestation and childbirth. "I've never met a god. I guess maybe I just wouldn't know if I had?" Would other cultures' gods be able to have an affect on people that aren't from the realities that they police? Hm. Theological discussion that he is in no way equipped for.

"Between you n' me, I think I'm fine with the idea that eventually my cycle will be over. I'm tired, dude." He touches the skull beneath the depiction of Old Wayne, tapping it with his fingertip. "If I make it to this point and find a place to bunker down that allows it, this form ends up making more larvae. I only have about two's worth of Flesh in me right now."

So less weird. Maybe it's like things that weren't weird to them that other people found weird. Like the stuff with Allison. Everyone found the power thing uncomfortable, but Klaus really never thought about it as a thing. But they were trying to understand that.

"It's possible. Gods are weird, mostly. At least the one I met. I can't speak for the others." A beat. "Well, Yato was okay. Weird in a different way, but that's fine."

There's a hint of a frown at that. "I mean, I guess I'll be fine with it eventually, but not yet." They don't want to be weird, but...they feel weird. It's such a feeling to know eventually they might die, but none of their siblings will know this or be there for it. "Well, if I'm still alive there, then I'd be happy to look after the little larvae things. Teach them cool stuff." A beat. "I probably shouldn't raise them, though. Not sure I trust myself. But I can be like the wacky uncle or whatever."

"Oh, I've met Yato, but only just the once and he wasn't doing anything particularly god-like. It was that fair thing." He can't accurately recall what had happened though, unfortunately. They had talked about food, and how weird humans were, and that was really about the extent of it.

Klaus isn't the first to feel a little odd about the idea of it, though Wayne doesn't know the extent to which they're feeling weird about it. He could see why someone would be a little off-put by the prospect of an assortment of new larvae around, if they've never been exposed to it before.

"It's all hypothetical anyway, I don't know if I'll be able to go to ground here. I already know my cycle's totally been interrupted by this place's lack of approach to linear time so either I'll instantly need to metamorphose when I get to a place that allows for it, or I'll have a lot of time to make up for before I get to that point. So hey, maybe you'll never have to look after 'em." It's a little bit daunting, the idea of a bunch of larvae running around without a custodian. They tended to sink in water after all, and generally didn't have the best self preservation instincts overall, just going up to anything and warbling at it for attention. "But I bet they'd appreciate having an uncle."

"Oh yeah. RIP that oreo." Cause that probably would have been so good. Except it ended up covered in dirt...

Still would have eaten it.

"Yato said he's a god of luck or something? Can grant wishes? I never made a wish, though, so you know." Then again, there was a lot more information that he got later on, but that's fine. "I think there was...or is..??? I dunno if they're still here. But some god that Nobunaga knows? A dog god of the sun?" They don't reeeeaallly know anything about that one.

It's mostly a lack of trust in their ability to be even slightly parental. Did you see their dad? Ha. No, thanks.

"Yeeeah. This place doesn't really allow for people to like...die properly." There's a shrug. "But it's not really new for me. I mean, I guess I could have stayed in my void after the end of the world, but Luther wouldn't have let me." They look down. "Yeah. Maybe. I'm not sure I'm a great influence, so you know. They might be better off without me."

"Yeah we got along on vibes alone." The same way Wayne gets along with most people, really. He has no idea what to make of the idea of a sun dog god though.

Wayne pulls a face, but nods. He's heard about the whole death mechanism thing here. That he's gone so long without it hitting him has been more than a little bit baffling; he hasn't died in so long that he's just waiting for it now, bracing for the eventuality. He's had enough people close to him perish fairly recently that he's kind of on edge about it, on top of everything else that he's on edge about.

"Enh...Neither here nor there anyway, man. It wasn't gonna happen for a long while even in normal circumstances so, no having to worry about taking care of a bunch of larvae. I probably would've given that job to Pratt anyway, he seemed pretty stoked about the idea when I talked with him about all this."

Klaus definitely was surprised that it took so long for him to actually die in this place considering how often it happened before. There was a whole traffic montage of him dying!

"Pratt would be a pretty cute larvae guardian. I think he'd be stoked about it all the time. And Sharky would probably be good. There's a lot of parental types out there on the ship." A beat. "I'm just that weird...uncle type that's like, 'LET'S DO MISCHIEF!' and that's definitely how I exist. I could teach them to pick locks somehow. Probably."

"Yeah, when he met the larvae in the memory cracks he was pretty into that." It's one of the few things that he remembers from others dropping in at Waynehouse, because he's become so determined to actually make that a reality for Pratt in the eventuality that they had to leave the Serena.

"Personally I think any larvae that come from my matter should have weird uncles with lockpicking experience. It'll give the custodians more to do, chasing after them."

"That had to have been pretty adorable." It's rare to see Pratt super taken and excited about things. They like it when there's moments of absolute adorableness.

"Well, then I'm the best one for the job. I was always great at sneaking in and out of the house in really weird places. Like I basically scuba'd through the sewer to get inside when it was the Sparrow's house. Which is how I saw the weird Kugelwhatsit in the basement. Weird time." A beat. "And Mom was constantly putting out fires cause I thought it was funny to set trashcan fires."

"He fell asleep on a couch covered in larvae." Which, yes, was very cute. He'll be a great grub-dad eventually.

He can't help but laugh a little. "Trash can fires are pretty funny sometimes, you're right. Scuba-ing through the sewers sounds gross though, but then again I had to go dig up a graveyard looking for a back way into a fortress so maybe I'm not the best judge for that."

"Awwwww. That's so cute!" Klaus is delighted by this knowledge. Pratt is adorable forever. They will add this to their knowledge bank.

Yesssss. A laugh! "Right? It was great! Mom put up with a lot. And it was kinda gross, but it was also the easiest way to get in without getting spotted. That's how I used to steal stuff from Dad all the time without him knowing I was there." That's definitely a story. "Wow. I mean, I would probably have done the same thing, so I can't say anything about that."

They'll have to use the knowledge that Pratt has the capability to be cute at some point. The man deserves soft cute things.

"It was weird and I thought everything would be all dried out but then there were meat ghosts? Like apparently that's a thing!" His hands go up at that because that's just weird even by his standards. "Between that, and having to use a canal that mostly served as a dumping ground to get into Viewax's place, I've had to deal with some sludge, man. I'll take lighting fires over that any time."

Yes. It's true. He deserves everything good. Klaus agrees.

They squint at the idea of meat ghosts. "No. No. That tracks." Cause what else is new? Ghosts everywhere. "But I feel like meat ghosts like...is different than it sounds. Like I'm just picturing ghosts with actual shape, but what are meat ghosts?" Cause they need to understand if this is something more wet than it sounds like." A beat. "My mom would probably take that over sludge, too. To be fair."

"Ok so like, imagine a long snakey tube of meat, but it's all coiled up on itself to make the body shape? Now imagine it's kinda melty, and staring at you, and trying to set you on fire." He's not fond of them, in other words. "At least they move slow enough that you can go around them but they're big most of the time. Dread meat have so much flesh dude, fighting one sucks and you can't really aim a non-status attack at them, it doesn't stick."

"And you consider those...ghosts. Huh." That's new. "You saw my ghosts, so you already know about what mine look like. They can't set you on fire, though." At least not that he's aware of. They...no, well, they can kill people, but only if he's controlling them. "Actually...nevermind. They might be able to, but I'd be controlling them in that situation. Which I could do at the end!"

If Klaus looks a little more perky at the mention of it, it's only because they are hoping that will get some form of approval from Wayne, which they aren't necessarily aware of in that moment. But much like a dog, Klaus thrives on praise.

"Your ghosts don't react the way mine do either, they're harder to fight." But that could also have just been because it was Klaus' memory and not actual for-real ghosts that he could have conceivably fought.

The idea of controlling them is pretty rad though, and Wayne does look suitably impressed. "The only thing I ever learned how to do was use a Soul Sponge, I didn't know you could actively control ghosts, that's pretty dope."

"Yeah. I don't know what good I'd be up against your meat ghosts." But they each had their own things.

Klaus seems pleased with this reaction and smiles. "Soul sponge? That sounds...uhhh...does it soak up souls? Is it a real sponge?" There's a brief pause before, "Yeah. I learned how later. Like I can make them solid. I did it by accident with Ben and I think it's cause I wanted him to stop me in a way. I was teasing him about how I could take drugs and he couldn't stop me and then he slapped me so hard, it knocked the pills out of my mouth. So that was weird."

"Yeah but like, organic and really squishy so I guess it's made specifically to hold souls? Or like a specific kind of soul? I wouldn't be able to hold a Dreadmeat in it but I could use it for one of my friends. The specifics are super lost on me."

He blinks, but nods in something sort of understanding. "So like a subconscious thing."

"Huh. Sounds like a whole thing. Maybe Old Wayne would know more? Is he like wise, too? So how do you fight the Dreadmeat? Like with juice and stuff? Or is that a different food?" There's definitely a lot of things they are trying to understand. But if Wayne can take in the stuff they're talking about, then they should try.

"I wish I could show you, but I like...don't think I could now. Considering my lack of powers. And I don't think they'd work even if I had them. But yeah. Dad even taught me how to banish them...35 years and an unfortunate AU timeline later."

"Maybe. I wish I could've asked him but it never came up." And now he might never get the chance.

Hm. Not the most opportune time for a severe bout of melancholia to settle in.

"Lack of powers, lack of actual ghosts...Definitely not a useful skill in there here and now, at least at the moment. And if we keep coming back it's not like we're generating ghosts either, so, I guess, better for both of us that you don't have your thing and I don't have any soul sponges?"

"Sorry, buddy. It's fine. We'll just like..." There's a shrug. "We don't need to know. It's okay."

They reach over and pat his arm awkwardly. "No. We're definitely not. It's probably for the best, yeah. I can't imagine what would come of seeing the ghosts if they're still here or anything. I feel like it would be really uncomfortable." A beat. "But if they wanted me to suffer greatly, they'd give me that power back and make it so I could only see them and not control them at -"

Klaus frowns. "I'm gonna stop that thought while I'm ahead."

The longer he's around people, the more he's realizing that for as different as their cultures are, there's always gonna be those universal little weird moments. An awkward pat, a comment that doesn't land. It's comforting, and pretty funny if he's honest.

He snorts quietly and puts a finger up, even as Klaus is already catching themself. "Don't you speak that into the world, you're gonna jinx us."

"The only person getting jinxed in this equation is me if that's how it goes." Unless... No. Better not even think that. Then they'll both be in trouble.

They sigh, flopping over on the bed slightly. "This is a tragedy, to be honest. Why am I so good at thinking up awful things? I think I just like to punish myself is what it is. Like I learned too much from Dad about how to make myself miserable."

"Exactly."

Klaus flops, and Wayne turns to lean against the couch cushion that he's been leaving at the head of his bed as something to lean against when he wants to curl up. He pulls his knees up level with his chin and just slouches.

"I think you're probably conditioned toward it, yeah. Not enough good things to stay optimistic all the time, hope constantly in flux."

"It's fiiiiiiiine."

Klaus looks over at him quietly, letting out a sigh. "Yeah. I mean...yeah." That's very insightful. "I guess that's true enough. There's been a lot of people that really didn't like what they found in my memories. There's weirdly been more hope here. Which is a little weird to think about."

[Semi-Open] DYWTYLM

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